


My demons don't play nice

by promisingahurricane



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: All-Knowing Deaton, BAMF Stiles, Bad Decisions, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek is a Failwolf, Drowning, Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Hurt Stiles, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Lonely Stiles Stilinski, Lovesickness, M/M, Magic, Magical Stiles Stilinski, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Pining, Rough Sex, Scott is a Bad Friend, Smut, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Has Issues, Stiles Stilinski is a Tease, Stiles is Not a Virgin, incubus, knotting is a thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 65,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promisingahurricane/pseuds/promisingahurricane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What interests me a lot more is when he became so…”</p><p>My hand gestured indecisively in the air in a small circular motion, trying to think of an appropriate description of the Stiles I had encountered. Both the wolf and the fox jumped in to help.</p><p>“Fledged?”<br/>“Calculating?”<br/>“Centered?”<br/>“Coordinated?”<br/>“Sexy?”</p><p>I raised both hands and grimaced to stop them from going on, especially since Scott regarded Kira with a questioning sickened look for her last interjection.<br/>___</p><p>Derek returns after some months he spent looking for the Desert Wolf with Braeden and meets someone who isn't quite like someone he left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thunderstorm

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I'm new, be gentle ;) Have a cookie, sit down and enjoy this unbetad mess! Derek POV

Two months research and almost no hint whatsoever. Annoying shit. But I needed to do it. I just had to. Even if it was irritating and tiring. Research was really more Stiles’ thing. Why would probably always remain a miracle to me. That boy had just a knack for worming himself into unsolvable riddles to find a solution.

It was one of the few times his focus would stop him from babbling. He would probably be more successful at finding what I needed, but he was not involved in the whole thing, didn’t even know I was looking. It was better that way. That was at least what I had convinced myself to think.

Any information Peter found that I didn’t was a potential threat. He was scheming at his best times and I was certain that now at his worst, he was plotting something. The three eyed guy wouldn’t hold him forever. And if I found Malia’s mother first… I liked the thought of finally having an advantage again.

Braeden had been even more obsessed, having chased after the myth of the woman long before I even heard of it. I had hunted with her, after small hints, the whispers of possible clues. It had been two whole months before I decided to return to Beacon Hills and look for other traces. I was only useful in field search when I could use my nose, so naturally I chose to support her from afar.

My fingers wandered over the spread papers filled with numbers, names, hints, but none of these seemed to be the missing piece I was looking for. It was maddening. My brows furrowed and I tried arranging the sheets differently, trying to find the link, but only ended up with less of an overview than I had before.

With a groan I pushed away from the table. The advantage I wanted was not within reach and by every passing minute I got more tempted to light it all on fire. Due to the fact that I wasn’t too keen of fire, I decided to escape into the ‘nightlife’ of Beacon Hills. If you can even call four bars and two clubs nightlife.

Throwing on my leather jacket I grabbed my keys and headed out.

Sometime after two in the night I arrived in a dark bar downtown, heading right into the shadows I felt so at home in. Sure, my apartment provided plenty of those dark spots, but there was also a silence on some nights in there. A silence I couldn't deal with or (to be honest) didn't even want to. It made my thoughts unbearably loud. Memories of the smell of smoke and burned flesh and high pitched screams liked to claw their way to the surface on those nights. It was bad to be alone then.

Honestly, I was on my own more often than not since my social contacts had returned to a minimum after the whole Scott the Berserker incident. Probably better this way most of the time. I had become dependent, careless. I should know better. I knew better.

But the shadows... they had been with me for a while, since way before I met the Beacon Hills gang. I got so used to lurk around and surprise others by silently stepping out of the dark that the habit had become part of me, just like my favorite black leather jacket.

Enjoying the low buzz of music and conversation for once, which made me unable to brood over supernatural matters, I settled into a worn out looking leather seat in a dark corner, a glass of scotch in one hand and the other on the hip of the girl, who had made herself comfortable in my lap.

I took a deep breath, took in the smell of leather, sweat, perfume and the hint of lust that always seemed to cling to bars. People are tipsy, more open, willing to find a companion for the night. No wonder it smelled like this. Nice hunting grounds.

As for me, I apparently didn’t even need to flirt tonight. I could be all kinds of charming to get my way if I needed to. But this girl here was quite eager, already busy rubbing herself on me. While she whispered some rather inviting promises into my ear I let my eyes wander around. At least my lower half enjoyed her dirty talk.

Still, I snorted slightly at her 'flirting' in my mind. She had practically clung to me since I entered the bar and had thrown herself all over me. A little too desperate. She probably only wanted to get back at someone. Her skin smelled like those overly sweet sugared cocktail cherries, cheap perfume and cigarettes. Not really the best scent.

Actually, I barely managed not to wrinkle my nose, but this was certainly more acceptable than the iron like smell of blood and gore dripping on cold asphalt, which I had smelt over and over again in the last months. And there wasn’t anything even faintly supernatural on her. If there had been I would have left immediately. Something like that screamed trap miles against the wind.

She was definitely not getting her ass anywhere near my home, even if I decided to get in her pants. I already smelt her on my leather jacket after only half an hour and I didn’t want it all over my place, the furniture, the bed. I wouldn't be able to sleep for several nights straight in there before it finally faded enough again.

Lucky for her, she had a nice body and my hunger demanded some ‘food’ tonight after so many days of research on the desert wolf. During the search I hadn’t allowed myself any private fun time. Or any fun time at that. Scott had mumbled something like ‘self-destructive wolf’ as he had visited me two weeks ago before running off when he had received a text of Kira concerning some minor supernaturally caused problems.

Or had it been three weeks already? Maybe the boy had been right. My hand wandered slightly upwards on her hip, which made her purr a little and flash her white teeth at me in a grin that was supposed to be charming. Arousal drifted off of her in thick waves, almost assaulting my nose. Maybe the toilets here were deserted and shadowy enough to...

What?

A sound made me jerk my head around fast enough to result in the small figure in my lap squealing in surprise as she tried to stay in balance. My werewolf nose and eyes still scanned the room frantically as I heard it again: a laugh. No, not just any laugh. A little deeper and rougher than I remembered it, but unmistakably the same. Finally, my eyes settled on the lean back of the young man sitting on a stool by the bar.

Then, I growled, a frown forming. Why did I not smell him? Sure, I hadn't been in contact for over two months, but I sure as hell would never forget it enough to not even recognize him in such a small room. Again, I concentrated and tried to catch his scent. After a few moments a sound of frustration rumbled through my throat. Only traces of aftershave that wasn’t his, judging by the faintness of it on him, and vodka. What the hell was he doing here, alone, unprotected?

I tilted my head slightly. He appeared so carefree, throwing his head back in a laugh, which looked more earnest than anything I had seen from him in a long time. It had been all tired smirks, dark circles under his eyes, tense shoulders. Nothing of that seemed to be part of him tonight. Sure, there was no instant threat at the moment, but he was usually more careful than this.

Well, actually he wasn’t. It’s Stiles we’re talking about, but still…

Trying not to be too rough I maneuvered the girl out of my lap as I got up and crossed the room, ignoring her complaints, my eyes only focused on that lean back that yet again shook slightly as Stiles snickered at something. I scanned the room again, but couldn't see any of the usual suspects around - no Scott, no Liam, no Kira, no Malia.

Something felt wrong about the image. Not only because he had been all over Malia just until Mexico. And Scott was usually somewhere around him, constantly worried about his best friend. Ironically, he was never near when Stiles actually needed him.

"Stiles."

The slender body on the chair in front of me still smelt nothing much like the personal scent of Stiles as I sucked another whiff in. Again, only the aftershave and smell of the guy next to him. When I finally tore my eyes away from fixating his back, I realized what else was different: The boy was completely dressed in almost dark clothes. Black skinny jeans shoved into half laced biker boots, a low cut v neck shirt in a blue hue not far from black itself, even a freaking leather jacket.

To top it off, he wore several silver rings on his hands and leather bands snaked around his wrists, his hair in that kind of orderly mess that took talent to style. Funnily enough, it all suited him and didn’t look like he tried to dress up, even if it couldn’t be farer from his old style.

The sight of the small plug in his ear and the piercing in his eyebrow resulted in me raising my own eyebrows even more, but it was the dark bruise I spotted on his neck that made me scowl.

Surprisingly, I had a hard time keeping my teeth human and away from putting them over the hickey that bloomed in a bruised lilac color. Completely normal reaction. Get your shit together Derek. That I even needed to remind myself of that…

"Well, well."

The long legs swung around as he turned on the chair with a lot more elegance than I was used to from the clumsy teen. But it wasn't the only surprise: I was greeted with a sneer on the pinkish lips of Scott's best friend that was entirely unknown to me. Not that I claimed to know all of his expressions, but it felt foreign anyways.

Shortly, the image of the Nogitsune flicked through my mind, but I shoved it down, suppressing a shiver.

"Hi there, Derek."

Wow. That sounded plainly bored. My nostrils flared.

The scowl was still in my face as I looked into his, apparently not worth his complete attention as the damn kid was still eyeing this chunky guy next to him and taking a sip of his glass. Anger started to seep through my veins like liquid lava, slow and torturous. He always riled me up somehow. I didn't like not having his attention.

The teen had always given it to me, hung on my lips sometimes, listening, but still had never hesitated to mock me or interject with whatever came to his mind. As much as it had aggravated me at first, I somehow relished it after a while. It had been honest, true. But not even fucking facing me? No.

Now, the energetic Stiles that his friends adored for his enthusiasm seemed to be hid away somewhere behind this irritatingly calm young man and behind this whole gloomy make over thing that apparently happened after I last saw him. I growled and the whisky colored eyes finally flickered over to meet mine like they had a million times before.

My heart sunk. Shockingly.

He looked at me with a mix of anger, annoyance and frustration, before he seemed to reclaim his composure in the blink of an eye. With flared nostrils I tried to smell more of the feelings I had seen, but yet again nothing useful reached my nose. Can’t do more than try.

My heart started racing. I was not losing my powers again, was I? Concerned I closed my lids and sensed my eyes change easily back and forth between wolf and human before I opened them again. Crisis averted.

Stiles had watched me with vaguely raised eyebrows, elbows on the bar behind him, lips again on the glass in his hand. The smirk he showed when he lowered his drink made my stomach clench weirdly. God damn. Dorky teen boy had finally figured how to be sexy.

Again my brain helpfully provided pictures of him chewing on pencils, his fingers dancing elegantly over papers, the way his throat worked when he drank…

All right, all right.

How to be sexy _on purpose_. My lower regions had reacted to Stiles once or twice before, but I had known better than to act upon it. Even a grown man can have stupid hormonal urges. He was still not my type. Unruly brat.

"So, what's up sourwolf?"

My jaws clenched tightly. The word choice was right here, but the tone... Too husky, enticing.

"What are you doing in a bar drinking Vodka alone? Where's Scott?"

With openly faked innocence Stiles looked up to me through his long dark lashes, as I was still taller standing in front of him. I snorted but couldn't help feeling another tug in my groin as Stiles bit his lower lip temptingly. I was absorbed in observing the small motion before my eyes flicked up again to meet his amused gaze. I suppressed a growl. It was bad enough he had caught me staring, he didn’t need to know it annoyed me, too. He certainly had upped his game.

"I’m not alone.”

He let his fingers tap gently over the muscular arm of his companion, which elicited another infuriated hiss from me and a gentle laugh from the man, who eyed him with obvious lust.

“And I would never dare drink alcohol. This is just water."

Chuckling, the boy stretched lazily backwards over the bar, exposing a strip of unblemished skin as his shirt slid up, looking at the barkeeper upside down. I licked my lips unconsciously as my eyes inspected the smooth paleness that showed more muscles than I had expected on the lean boy. As my gaze wandered I realized Stiles' arms being more toned too. Fuck. When did he start working out so much that it actually showed? Not that I truly cared, but he did grow more into his skin, filled out his clothes more.

"Another _water_ please."

I growled again. AGAIN. I wasn’t really relaxed at the moment to begin with and the boy was occupying himself with a dangerous game of poke-the-wolf-with-a-stick-until-it-bites.

The guy behind the bar grinned and nodded at his customer as he took the glass Stiles was handing him. As he reclined to a relatively normal seating position, still sprawled over the bar partially, I stepped closer and leaned further in towards the boy.

"What is up with you?" The annoyance showed in my tone.

I knew it wasn't quite my business, but I didn’t care much that it wasn’t. I wanted to know what happened to the hoodie and jeans wearing ball of sarcasm, sunshine and humor and how the hell it turned into 'I'm sexy and I know it'.

He made a disapproving noise, which was also a novelty and grabbed my jaw tightly in one hand. Rude. Even for him. For a second I was tempted to snap at his fingers purely out of reflex, but thankfully I still had some control.

The man next to him frowned and tried stepping closer, probably thinking the bat-swinging and supernatural killing human in front of him needed protection, but Stiles waved him off with a small gesture. He actually stepped back and turned towards the bar to pay for Stiles’ drink.

My attention snapped back to Stiles as he tightened his grip.

"Back off. You're too close."

I bared my teeth in a snarl as Stiles shoved me backwards by my chin astonishingly powerfully right after his words. His heart rate didn't even change in the slightest at my silent threat. Although I felt a kind of stupid satisfaction at the kid not being afraid of me like he used to, but a little anxiety would have been convenient right now. Besides it being rather irrational not to be at least a little afraid of a werewolf. So I tried again with more…emphasis.

"What. Happened."

My voice was dangerously low, commanding and threatening. That usually did the trick. I would have flashed my eyes for effect, but that is not such a great move in public. The reaction I got in return was once more not what I had anticipated: a snicker.

Stiles licked his lips unhurriedly and frowned while glancing upwards, as if he tried hard to remember something. Then again he stared straight into my eyes, in which sparks of blue already combined with the greenish gray in spite of my efforts.

"Nothing. Nada. Niente."

Once more I showed a sour expression. There were no signs of a lie in his uninterested words, no pulse difference, no sweat, no change in tone, but it was more than apparent that he wasn't telling the truth either. Alright. The brat wanted to play. I didn’t.

Without another thought I moved in again and grabbed a handful of his messy hair. He was about to protest, the grumble already hearable as I yanked him towards me and growled more wolfishly than human, aiming for an intimidation that would teach him not to mess with me.

I felt triumphant as I suddenly smelled Stiles' very own scent of a summer breeze, mowed grass, wild strawberries and (unexpectedly) _home_ surrounding me again, and was only mildly surprised by a new spicy note in it, which I couldn’t identify. I even heard a difference in his heart beat and roared internally at the accomplishment.

A small wince escaped Stiles throat as I gave his hair another tug. My scent slowly mingled with his and for a moment I pondered scent marking him, to show who he belonged to. My pack. It fueled my wolf side and I was tempted to place my teeth over his throat do establish my dominance over him even more. But aside from the fact that the gesture was a weird thing to do in publish, Stiles would probably despise me for it. So I didn’t.

He stared at me for a long moment, his heart fluttering even faster than it usually did. The tension grew, and although the sounds around us didn’t actually disappear, it felt like they tuned out into almost nothing. Several emotions flickered through the honey eyes in front of me and it looked like he was staring at a fire and contemplating if the feeling of heat was worth getting closer and risk being burned. Then, I felt one of his fingers gently tracing my jawline, before his hand slowly cupped my face.

I had to put an effort into not jerking away from the touch, not because it was uncomfortable, it definitely wasn’t, the opposite actually, but because I didn’t know why he would suddenly touch me so voluntarily.

What was the cheeky brat up to now?

Carefully he tried moving his face towards mine, his eyes darting over my features as if to make sure I wasn’t going to rip his throat out like I usually liked to threaten. I let him, still frowning. Our little fight over dominance was forgotten as he looked so tentative and vulnerable. He was so close that I felt his ragged breath on my face, saw each of those overly long lashes, could see the sprinkles in his eyes. Those were still the same.

Stiles pulled me slightly towards him as he closed the distance, only shortly hovering in front of my lips before pressing his own softly against them. My brain stopped.

I saw him close his eyes, just as his astonishingly soft lips started moving against mine, his tongue licking seductively at my lower lip. It was a promise to something a lot more thrilling than this cautious kiss. He pulled at me harder and with a low rumble I followed.

Angling my head I used my hand in his hair to keep him close, hesitating for another small eternity. My brain started throwing how’s and why’s at me, but the sound of my heart was loud enough to drown it out. Then, with force, our mouths connected again. It was harsh and untamed as our lips crashed together passionately.

A content hum escaped me. The long fingers of his hand curled in my shirt and tucked me closer, trying to bridge the distance between our chests. I…liked it. But before I had time to relish in the feeling of this devouring kiss or to even open my mouth to explore his, I heard the sizzling of electricity. I frowned. Shit. That could only mean trouble. But for who?

I felt Stiles lips form a sneer against my own and opened my eyes (which I seriously didn’t remember closing) slightly worried to the sight of him staring coldly and superiorly at me. The breeze was gone and I smelt a summer thunderstorm.

Oh. For me. Trouble for me.

“Fuck you, Derek.”

Then he tasered me.


	2. Betrayal

  _Ouch. Ouch. Ouch._

I groaned and shifted around slightly. My side ached a little, but it was no serious injury. I hoped. It did hurt enough to be. But electricity does that to a werewolf. Although the super healing helps, the initial pain is still there. At least it wasn’t wolfsbane.

My lids stayed closed as cold drops hit my face continuously, somehow comforting with its coolness. Rain. It was raining. And I was…outside?

I groaned. Clever me. It doesn’t usually rain inside. My fingers slid over the rough wet ground as I tried to get my wits together. Physically touching something hard and real like the asphalt aided with slowly coming back from the depth in my mind.

Anger lingered under the surface of my skin, mingled with the remaining pain pulsing in my side. That little beast apparently knew exactly how to set up the damn Taser thing to knock me out cold before I wolfed out over the unexpected pain. Clever little shit.

As I opened my eyes I was greeted by the darkness of a starless night, which was softened by a wall lamp a few feet away from me. Next to it was a heavy black door. No handle. I blinked the drops of water from my lashes and let my head sink back, groaning. I had been propped up against the wall, just out of sight from the street.

Apparently, I was in the alley beside the bar; I could still hear the music, even without my heightened senses. Great. Just great. I was thrown out. How did the little monster manage that after attacking _me_? He somehow must have succeeded in veiling that I was unconscious, but how did he accomplish to get me out here? He couldn’t have carried me by himself after all, even with his recent muscle growth.

I snarled lowly in frustration and pulled my now dirty shirt up enough to see where the Taser had been placed. Again: Ouch. Luckily, it was healing already. Still, one of my hands hovered above it undecidedly. But there wasn’t much to do except wait for it to heal at its own slow pace. Electricity and wolves? Not such a good combo. Effective? Yes. Nice? No. Especially not if the one using it on you is supposedly a frien…. an ally.

I patted down the pockets of my wet jacket to find my phone and brought my feet underneath me to stand up. I growled as I staggered slightly, glad that no one was in this goddamn alley to see it. Being mistaken as a helpless drunk idiot wasn’t something I wanted to deal with right now.

An aching throb in my head made me refocus on the problems at hand, just before Stiles’ satisfied look as he watched me go down popped up in my mind. He would probably enjoy seeing the aftermath of his little attack. Seriously…what was wrong with him? I may have had some phases where his scorn would have been well placed, okay, many phases, but right now? No. Not when I haven’t seen him in months. I can’t mess things up by not being around Scott and Stiles, right?

Scowling, I made myself take a few steps, one hand sliding over the dirty wall to steady me if needed. It was embarrassing. When my body managed to stay upright again, I wiped my hands on my shirt in a futile attempt to dry them, and scrolled through the few contacts in my phone and pressed ‘call’. McCall actually.

God. My sense of humor was seemingly electrocuted as well. I decided to despise myself for the thought later, because I really wanted to know what the fuck was going on. This would probably be a hell of a lot easier than finding the desert wolf. At least in this case I knew exactly whom to ask for some insight.

“… _Derek? Everything all right?”_

He sounded quite surprised and concerned. Plausible. I don’t call him that often. Usually, he comes to me with some kind of bizarre murder problem. Although the boy had become a natural Alpha, he still often struggled when things got out of hand. I myself was nowhere near proficiency, but at least I had a few more years of experience.

“Scott. Care to meet up?”

I had intended to try a casual tone, but when I heard myself say the words, it sounded angry and demanding. Good going. Alarm him pointlessly so he comes running faster. He’ll totally appreciate that. I rubbed one hand over my face and barely suppressed a groan.

_“Uhn…sure. Your house?”_

He still sounded confused, but not overly worried or influenced by my tone. I wasn’t sure if I liked that. Really, what was up with those boys?

“In 10.”

_“20. I….need to finish something here.”_

A girly squeal came through the phone. Kira. Grunting, I furrowed my brows. At least someone was having fun tonight. Teenagers and their hormones.

Maybe I wasn’t one to talk after following instinct and letting a certain someone fool me with a kiss. How could someone fool me with a kiss?! Especially someone so idiotic, dorky, clumsy, annoying, inexperienced. Maybe not inexperienced. That was definitely not the worst kiss I ever…

_“Derek?”_

Oh. I cleared my throat. This wasn’t that important. It could wait.

“Never mind. Get back to me today when you’re free.”

_“You sure? If you call me at four in the morning it’s usually urgent?”_

I growled. If Scott had actually considered this an emergency his ass would already be here. This was simply courtesy.

“Don’t make me rethink this. See you.”

My hand hovered over the touchscreen after I ended the call, not bothering to wait for Scott’s answer. Flicking my thumb made Stile’s contact info pop up, complete with a picture of him grinning one of his wide dumb smiles. No sneer, no sly smirk, just sparkling eyes and wide smile. It was unsettling to catch a glimpse of his old self after the electrifying meet-and-greet with the new one.

With a sigh I pushed the device back in my pocket and started stomping towards the street. No reason to linger around here any longer. The brat had probably bailed as soon as I had hit the floor so there was no way to smash his head into something tonight for his stupid actions. It had not only hurt, but had also been pretty reckless.

For a moment I pondered going into the bar and actually checking if he was still in there, because my nose was no help here, but I convinced myself that I needed a hot shower and a good night’s sleep more than figuring everything out now. And besides, they probably wouldn’t let me inside anymore, as soaked as I was.

When I got to my car, I stripped off my jacket and threw it on the passenger’s side. Putting one hand on the wheel, I stared strangely mad at the mess, how my drenched clothes left wet spots on the seat. He had literally left me standing (sitting for that matter) in the rain.

I ripped my gaze from the sight and gripped the wheel tighter than needed. In my mind flicked the images of the various times he had made sure I wasn’t mortally wounded and pulled me to safety when he could manage to. I couldn’t quite put a finger on the feelings that dwelled in me now. It felt like anger, frustration, fury…

 _Betrayal,_ my mind whispered.

With another disgruntled sound I started the car. Betrayal. No. He could only betray me if he had my trust, if he were anything to me. And he wasn’t. Except for an annoying little shit, who made me want to put my hand through a wall.

Almost mechanically I drove back, got into my deserted apartment and got rid of every soaked piece of clothing on me as soon as my feet touched the familiar ground of the spacious main room. Which was basically every piece I had worn. This time I did my best to ignore the puddles they formed on the floor and the damp stains I left while walking barefoot towards the bathroom. A shower was what I craved most right now.

As the hot water hit my face, most of the tension in my shoulder bled out of me and I couldn’t help starting to laugh. The thought I had pushed back for the whole ride home came back to me. He didn’t just leave me in the rain. Stiles had kissed me. And I went along. And he tasered me for it. Which of these actions sounded the least sensible was hard to tell. It was all just too ridiculous.

My laugh slowly died when his unblemished skin appeared behind my closed eyes. How he stretched, moved, bit his lip. It shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was. My dick twitched as I imagined running my hands over his body, touching every inch of the pale skin, tracing the moles, holding him by the hips, pinning his hands over his head. Sucking on the soft skin until it was finally tainted by my mark…

An angry rumble at the thought of the already existent hickey on his neck made my mouth suddenly appear too small for the elongated teeth in them. I frowned. That someone else had marked him as his bothered me unpleasantly.

When had I become possessive of the boy? Now that I wasn’t as furious anymore, I couldn’t deny that I didn’t want him dead and I trusted him more than I let on, but that wasn’t enough for me to wolf out at the realization someone else had sucked on his neck long enough to bruise it. Thinking about it, Malia had never left a mark on him before. Aside from the scratches on his back. And again involuntary a snarl crept from deep in my throat.

Marking that skin would be so easy… a quick suck, maybe a bite, hands holding on too tightly…

My hand wandered south towards the part of me that had taken a distinct interest in my thoughts and demanded attention (now that I didn’t ban every sexual thought from my mind). I wondered about when that bruise ended up on his neck and where else he might have some that I didn’t get to see.

Semi angry shower masturbation. A lot hotter than it sounds. My imagination was running wild as I let my hand travel over my lower stomach. I swore to myself I would lock these thoughts up later and revel in my fury instead. But definitely not now.

After I closed my fingers around the base of my cock a few quick tugs was all it took to take the first torturous frustration from me. The release was bliss. It really had been too long if I was coming faster than the average teenage boy in a hurried pre-school wank-session.

My mind was still stuck on the thought of Stiles during sex, which hindered me from going anywhere near soft. And I knew better than to convince myself into thinking that I would focus on something other than the teasing kid in the second round. Self-destructive. With another groan I put my hands to work again.

A few minutes later I left the shower feeling a lot calmer and warmer. I wrinkled my nose. I had just jerked off to Stiles Stilinski. Growling at myself I toweled my hair dry and got into my bed, sighing heavily as my head hit the pillow. My muscles twitched, not quite willing to rest now. I still wanted to grab him by his collar, push him up against something and stare him down, maybe actually put my teeth on his throat until he understood that I was something to be feared.

My tongue wandered over my lips absent mindedly, my wolf grumbling inside of me over his damaged ego. They still tingled. Probably the electricity. I raised a hand to rub my mouth gently to chase the prickly sensation away.

I tried refocusing my thoughts on Malia’s mother or what little info I had on her, but in the end I was yet again stuck. Stiles would know where to dig deeper. Focusing so much that even his heart decides to finally slow down a little. His eyes darting back and forth until he makes a connection.

The same eyes that had met mine for the first time today in months, in a look so crushing that it disturbed me. What did I do to deserve such an unforgiving look?

Once more my tongue flicked over my lips.

Electricity. Hm.


	3. Just Fine

_Brrrrr. Brrrr. Brrrrr. Brrrrrrr._

Fuck. With a racing heart I sat upright in my large bed. I was crouching on it with my claws out, eyes flicking to the door waiting for the intruder to attack, as I realized it was just my phone ringing. Great. Another bed sheet ruined. My pulse slowed and I felt terribly tired immediately.

Sighing, my hands snatched the angrily buzzing device and my fingers slid over it to answer the call, before my mind lingered long enough on the thought of throwing it against the wall. Buying a new one would be too much of a hassle. And getting the god damn numbers back…not worth it.

“What?!”

Silence on the other end. If this was a damn prank call -

_“Wow. So angry so early in the day. Anyways, we’re on our way to your place.”_

Okay. Breathe in, breathe out. Learn to check the caller id _before_ you answer a call. Maybe that would have resulted in a less impolite greeting. No wonder they all considered me to have no social skills at all.

“Both of you?”

_“Yeah. Problem?”_

“No. Bring coffee.”

_“Roger. Scott, we need coffee. Or he’ll probably chew our heads off.”_

I suppressed another snort and just ended the call. Kira had become quite a bit livelier since she managed to adapt to her real nature and learned to use her abilities better. She didn’t stumble that often anymore. Another cheeky teen. I sunk back into the pillow for a few minutes, covering my eyes with my arm, until I decided I had idled around enough.

With a deep inhale I swung my legs out of bed and stretched lazily, the remains of the adrenaline from the sudden wake up fading more and more. I got up and grabbed a pair of sweat pants, which lay on the chest beside the bed. I didn’t bother with underwear and just slipped them on, leaving them low on my hips.

I walked through the room, picking up the clothes I had carelessly discarded in the night. They were still not quite dry. I must have laid in the rain longer than I had calculated. Again the weird feeling made my abdomen contract. I ignored it. As I put them over the handrail of the stairs I saw the light of the alarm blinking wildly. My eyebrows raised as I stalked over to it. That was rather fast.

Hitting the button I turned towards the door and leaned against the cold pillar, crossing my arms in front of my chest. After a few more moments I saw two shadows under the door just before it opened and Scott stumbled inside with a tray of coffee in one hand and a bag with pastries in the other. Kira walked in gracefully with a smile on her lips.

The corner of my mouth twitched into a small grin. The young alpha had managed to get whipped. Again. I guess it would always be that way. He liked strong women and this is what he got from it.

Scott saw my smile and scowled, deepened it when he took in just how undressed I was and how Kira’s eyes lingered on my chest a little longer than he liked. But the good boy handed me my coffee anyways. I raised it to my lips, relishing the warmth flooding my mouth. The first sip was pure bliss. Wonderfully strong black coffee.

Kira grabbed one of the remaining cups and jumped upon the small part of the table that wasn’t covered in research material. Her eyes wandered over it briefly but she seemingly decided it was uninteresting. Good for me.

After Scott settled on the chair both teens stared at me. I raised a finger, asking them silently to wait one more moment and took another deep gulp, feeling the caffeine reviving my spirits and almost burning my tongue in the process. Totally worth it. I sighed in contentment and nodded at them.

“So…how can we help you Derek?”

“I’m not sure you can. But you probably can give me some insight.”

The alpha rummaged through the paper bag and nodded, before looking at me.

“We’re not dealing with another new creature, are we?”

I shook my head, then stopped, indecisive.

“Not as far as I know at least.”

One can never be sure in Beacon Hills.

“Okay. Then why did you call me last night?”

I grimaced trying to decide where to start my story and chose to take the worst part first.

“I lay unconscious in the rain for around half an hour and woke up in a side alley.”

Both my visitors stopped their actions midway, Kira’s cup hanging just in front of her lips, Scott’s teeth already wrapped around some baked good, and looked at me with weird expressions. Maybe that was a little too cryptic. But they should be used to me not being that talkative.

Kira was the first to ask.

“I assume you didn’t just faint. Or did you?”

I raised an eyebrow. Perhaps that would have been nicer. Embarrassing, but at least losing consciousness was something out of my control, not like the carelessness that had actually caused this.

“No. I had some lovely electricity as good night kiss.”

And Stiles lips. Which had been a lot nicer than losing all motor skills and falling to my knees involuntarily.

“Do you know who did it?” Scott looked seriously concerned as he stuffed a croissant in his mouth. I nodded.

“Stiles.”

Again, both of them stopped moving for a split second, silence stretching. They looked at each other and started laughing and giggling. Royally annoyed I pushed myself of the pillar and walked towards them. I was not even sure what I wanted to do when I would reach them, but staying motionless had felt wrong. I stopped myself as they stopped laughing, still not even glancing at me.

“I told you that’s a good gift!” Kira snickered. Scott rolled his eyes then frowned.

“But how the hell did he get it into a bar?”

“The fake police badge, the ID?”

“Oh right! Sometimes –“

For real?! I had enough of their private conversation and growled to get their attention back. Why the hell did no one listen to me these days?

“Very sorry to interrupt your lovely insider talk, but what the _fuck_ is going on?”

A guilty looking Scott turned his head towards me again, hunching his shoulders as he took my angry frown in.

“I gave Stiles a Taser as a present.”

I growled. Wow. Who could have guessed?

“I got that part. Thanks a lot. What interests me a lot more is when he became so…”

My hand gestured indecisively in the air in a small circular motion, trying to think of an appropriate description of the Stiles I had encountered. Both the wolf and the fox jumped in to help.

“Fledged?”

“Calculating?”

“Centered?”

“Coordinated?”

“Sexy?”

I raised both hands and grimaced to stop them from going on, especially since Scott regarded Kira with a questioning sickened look for her last interjection. At least I did not imagine it all. The girl just shrugged and Scott let it drop for now, his eyes slowly wandering back to his coffee.

“Yeah. All that.”

They exchanged a quick side glance, then their eyes were back on me. But they remained silent. I allowed them the pause and started sipping on my coffee again. Finally Scott responded, his face showing worry.

“He made a deal. He was…sick of being so defenseless. A baseball bat won’t keep him safe forever.”

I frowned. What kind of deal could the boy have made? And with whom? We all had known Stiles was a weak spot in our - this group due to his humanity and his talent to stumble head over heels into any kind of supernatural crap where he inevitably got hurt. But he never wanted to be anything but human. I smelt the concern wafting off of Scott.

“Alright. What is that deal about?”

They boy sighed, slumping down on the chair with a resigned expression, seemingly indecisive of his opinion on the topic. What could Stiles have done that left his best friend so weirded out?

“You know that the reawakening of the Nemeton lures several creatures here?”

Pf. What a question. Due to the sacrificial death of the three kids it was broadcasting Beacon Hills as the ultimate place of pilgrimage for all the creatures that go bump in the night. It worried me endlessly more often than not.

I nodded silently. I knew.

“Apparently it brought an Incubus here.”

Silence lingered for a moment as he allowed me to process. My nostrils flared and I furrowed my brows as I glared at him.

“Scott. Did you just say _Incubus_?”  

I spat the word out with unhidden anger.

“Yeah but they are a lot less dangerous than they sound.”

The alpha shrugged, giving me an apologetic smile. I dragged a hand over my face. A lot less dangerous. Great.

“Unless you can’t control the urge to fuck them whenever wherever. Or you anger them. Or you pull them from their prey”, Kira threw in.

I snorted. Yeah. Sounded perfectly save to me. Not dangerous at all.

“Oh how calming. So how did Stiles make a deal with it?”

“With _him_. Uhm, Stiles panic attacks and nightmares started again after Mexico. I’m not sure what caused it. He seemed to be doing just fine…”

Scott trailed off, worry and concern shading his eyes in a darker hue, his mind seemingly once more lost in looking for explanations he wouldn’t find. When Kira placed her cup down on the table his head shot up. After a short moment he shook his head and continued.

“Anyways, Malia usually helped him. But she was with Peter in Eichen House for some nights. Don’t ask”, he blocked my already lingering question and I closed my mouth and pressed my lips into a thin line. Another thing to worry about later.

“So he didn’t really sleep well. If at all. He looked like hell. Dark circles, red eyes, stiff neck…It reminded me of something. Him too. And that didn’t help either…guess the Nogitsune thing still keeps him anxious…”

I had also estimated that part. As lighthearted as Stiles mostly acted, the darkness around his heart had kept him from being free of worry. But I thought he had been alright, just like Scott had.

Stiles had won Malia back and freed Scott, helped put Peter into Eichen House and wasn’t burdened with the bill of his visit to the mental institution anymore. I didn’t catch him counting his fingers that often anymore. Well. Before I left. That was months ago at least.

“And?” I urged him to go on.

“Well. In one of those nights he opened his eyes to this Incubus trying to get in his pants while he was outwardly asleep. When he figured this guy wasn’t going to kill him, after almost beating him black and blue with his bat – yes, he now sleeps with it next to him again-, they talked. Usually, Succubae are women going after men, trying to steal their semen and Incubi are the ones who impregnate sleeping women. This new one…doesn’t. He uses the sex to drain power from it. Aside from the fact that he seems to prefer men over women. You get it so far?”

“Yeah. Gay Incubus having sex to continue existing. Go on.”

Scott nodded again in affirmance and placed his cup on the floor. His eyes wandered to Kira and she encouraged him with a soft smile. The corners of my lips twitched softly.

“The Incubus suggested an exchange. Stiles would gain control over the magic sparks inside of him, also strength, agility, endurance.”

That sure sounded like something that would come with a big price. Especially when dealing with a demon. I was not sure if I wanted to know what he traded and if it was as stupid as I anticipated.

“What did the Incubus want in return?” I asked nonetheless, mildly reminding him that the story wasn’t completed.

Scott cleared his throat and looked rather uncomfortable as he started moving around on the chair. I glanced at the Japanese girl who just now stopped swinging her legs back and forth. She sighed tiredly as if she had already expected this part to slow the conversation. Her eyes met mine before she responded.

“His virginity.” Scott cringed.

What? How would that be possible? Didn’t he… with Malia? Kira saw the baffled look on my face and shook her head slightly. That she could see anything other than my usual stern look was indication enough of how surprised I was.

“He may have given one V-Card to Malia, but there was another one he could give.”

My mind worked on this riddle, but somehow I still didn’t figure what she was trying to tell me. As I stayed silent, staring questioningly, she clicked her tongue in disapproval as if I was acting thick on purpose.

“God, Derek. Don’t be so dense. Incubus. _Male_ demon.”

Scott winced again. Then it clicked. I was such an idiot. Of course. Just now I remembered that Stiles hadn’t been flirting with a girl yesterday but a _guy._ I barked out a laugh. That boy, the previously notorious virgin, who had enough insecurity issues for three teenagers, Stiles Stilinski, had actually given his virginity to a sex powered demon. Surprisingly, this sounded exactly like something that would happen to him. As I tried to get a grip again, I chuckled once more. I still couldn’t quite believe it.

“So that explains most of it. But why is he so repellent?”

Kira frowned and Scott finally chose to talk yet again after getting over the fact that his best friend had let a demon fuck him. Or fucked at all. Or whatever it was that had made him cringe like that.

“He isn’t. To us at least. A little more silent, which is scary enough considering it is _Stiles_ we’re talking about. But repellent? No. And he never tried tasering any of us.”

I growled when a phantom pain shot up my side. Bastard.

“Alright. Let me rephrase then: why does he act so repellent towards _me_?”

“Completely different topic probably. I think he was mad at you for leaving. Unfortunate for you that he’s like this now, when he actually has some ways of defending himself and keeping you off of him.”

He had ways of keeping me off of him? Who had said I wanted to be on him?

“But what did I do?”

“Dunno. He hasn’t told me anything. But really, when did you last see him? Before last night obviously?”

I rolled my eyes at the question, then wondered.

Yeah, when did I? Must also have been on our journey to save Scott. I failed at calming Liam and Stiles…had been surprisingly quiet. I caught him staring once, but right at the point when it became unusual he blurted out the Mantra that worked for Scott’s beta.

Then I had been shot, deadly wounded as soon as I got out of the car, my healing powers nonexistent at that point. I had told the others to go on and as Braeden had knelt beside me, I had caught a glimpse of Stiles. He had looked at us, frustrated, torn, worried, which sadly wasn’t an unusual look on him, lingering indecisively, before hurrying after his friends. I was a little too stressed at that moment to wonder about it, trying not to die instantly.

“Derek?”

Oh. Apparently I had been silent longer than I thought. I refocused and answered.

“ _La Iglesia_. When I told the others to look for you two.”

“Huh. Maybe he actually is only pissed because you just vanished…or it is something else you did after that?”

Because that would be a whole lot easier to figure out. If it wasn’t something that happened face to face, it could basically be everything. I sighed and emptied the coffee.

“Thank you anyways.”

The two got the hint and got up to leave me with my thoughts again as the full smell of the boiled beans hit my nose.

“Wait.”

Scott turned in the door, his fingers already laced loosely with Kira’s.

“Yeah?”

“What about his scent?”

“Oh…that. That’s kind of a new trick. He can somehow cover it up. It takes some effort, but he’s pretty good at this whole thing. Stiles invests a shitload of time. I think he made Liam try tracking him yesterday. Not sure though. Haven’t seen much of him lately.”

Which might not be entirely his fault, I assumed, glancing at their hands. He was in another lovey-dovey relationship and Stiles hated being the third wheel all the time. It had been obvious the first time it had happened with Allison. How he’d grown apart little by little from the boy he knew since childhood. And after tagging along for some time, Stiles had pulled back. Apparently history repeated itself.

I nodded dismissingly and they left.

One question answered, two asked:

What did I do to him and why did I even care to find out? I had better stuff to do than wonder about a teenager’s issues.

With another big sigh I decided that I was still in no condition to go back to my research and chose to return to my training routine. I had been a little negligent with it and just the thought of running made my muscles itch with giddy anticipation. I left my apartment barefoot, still only in the sweat pants and headed for the tree line.

The smell of soft earth, trees and moss calmed me and I felt a faint smile on my lips. What started in a slight jog developed into a full grown sprint through the woods. I jumped trunks and fallen trees, rushed through a small stream and sped up even more.

I changed fully into a wolf mid run. And for the second time this day, my mind went blank.


	4. Sugar-coated Lies

Of course. Totally my luck. Damn wolf. Why did he have to be in the same bar? Like, I know there aren’t too many options in this god forlorn hell hole named Beacon Hills, but for someone, who barely left his home (at least when no supernatural dangers were out), to stroll into the same bar _by coincidence_ …. Just my fucking luck.

I hissed angrily and pushed myself a little more. A little faster…just a little…

The asphalt my eyes were fixed on rushed by more rapidly as my feet hit it in a thrumming rhythm that vibrated through me with every step.

My heart raced and the noise of my blood in my ears silenced my inner rambling partially. At least I had my outer babbling kind of under control now. Mostly. Freaking out was still a problem though, if the sheer endless flow of curses in my head was any indication for that.

But how could I not freak out? I just wanted to have a quick hook up. A distraction. I didn’t need him there to ruin it all. I didn’t even have a freaking scent yesterday. It was just a dumb coincidence that scowly face had decided to stop his nomad life after _four months_ just when I was in a bar instead of in a club or at a party. Fortuna must really hate my guts.

The air was starting to burn in my lungs. I furrowed my brows. Apparently I needed some more training. And here I thought I was fit already, finally no longer any less sculpted than the wolves I liked to run with. How was I this tired after such a short run? I’m supposed to have a better endurance. But I _did_ use quite a lot of magic yesterday, which was _really_ tiresome…

For example making Liam run around by putting my scent all over town, but nowhere near me, tricking a bouncer into ignoring my fake ID and Taser (where I actually used the opportunity to say “These are not the druids you are looking for”, hell yeah) and a little trick where I used my spark to make my walk home consist of only ten steps. That last one really had been strenuous. I needed a lot of willpower and concentration, despite my mind being fuzzy from the alcohol and lingering on a certain someone.

I looked up and instantly slowed down. Ooookay. Maybe my inner monologue had distracted me more than I thought. Happened before. For a moment I was unsure where I was, searching for any familiar signs before recognizing an alley where I had been on a rave the week prior. Which was totally off from where I was supposed to be. Then and now. With a grimace I let my jog slow into a walk. It was a wonder that my legs hadn’t started complaining earlier.

A glance at my watch determined how utterly lost I could get in my thoughts. Scary. I had been running for hours and after my final sprint I was pretty much tired out, my legs throbbing, my breathing uneven. I rubbed absentmindedly at my wrists, which were still lined with bright red streaks. Perhaps I had overdone it a little lately.

My weekends have been filled with activities that the sheriff’s kid should not have on his agenda. There has been a lot of underage drinking, illegal parties and the occasional magic sessions with Deaton. Emissary training stuff.

Dad hadn’t said anything. He was usually occupied enough with work and double shifts to accept my blatant lies of where I’d be going. Luckily he didn’t ask all the time, just as if he knew I was feeling guilty already but couldn’t help it. I always made a point of telling him of the normal stuff I did, like training with Liam, grabbing dinner with Scott and his girlfriend, going shopping with Lydia. Yup, that had become ‘normal stuff’. She liked my new look and was eager to find new clothes to drape on me like on a doll.

If my romantic interest in her hadn’t long vanished it would have after those shopping trips. I still cherished her, as a friend, but sometimes she was a little over the top with her demands and expectations. She was strong and kind, but she was not who I wanted.

And all these changes happened because another mythological creature, which I never even considered to exist (I should seriously know better by now), made me realize that I needed different things. Also concerning sex. I mean, what I had with Malia was awesome, but said supernatural being needed to fuck it up. And me.

The night Gabriel aka Incubus aka sex driven demon had tried to ravish my sleeping body (because yeah, I am just that irresistible, naturally) I learned more than I had told Scott. I’m not a complete idiot. I knew it had been hard for him to hear me talk about what I had traded in for my Power Up. There had been no need to blurt out just how much I enjoyed Gabe tying me to my bed before he fucked me mindless. Hard. Rough.

Even if he never hesitated to give me details of his amorous escapades, there was no doubt he wasn’t able to handle any info of my newly revived sex life. He had already struggled with what I told him about Malia and that had been mostly fluff compared to what I did now, aside from the scratching. How good the hard body of the incubus felt against me was nowhere near what Scott could endure.

I shivered as I remembered again how the demon had grabbed a handful of my hair, jerking my head back, before he had wrapped his hand tightly around my throat as he buried himself in me in his final thrust. I almost had a panic attack as it had gotten harder to breathe, my eyes widening in shock to the feeling so similar to the suffocating contraction of my chest during attacks, when I helplessly gasped for air. But as something in me stopped struggling, stopped trying, a tranquility washed over me and the fear was outweighed by pleasure at that moment.

It had shut me up so efficiently, leaving me as a moaning mess with an aching throat. Gabriel had only chuckled at my state and leisurely stroked over my back. For a short while I was glad that someone made me suffer. The pain weighed up the guilt in me for leaving my mind ajar, for the pain I had inflicted and the terrible deaths I caused. Of course, no one had blamed me. Just I myself.

If Gabe had treated me tenderly, I wasn’t sure if I could have handled it. The first night calmed me in a bizarre way, proving the demon knew what I had needed. It was afterwards that sadness and a kind of emptiness hit me and almost sent me into another panic attack. Fortunately, I had expected something like it. Incubi are demons for a reason.

I forced myself to not keep prodding at the bruised skin on my hands, stop enjoying the tingling pain that shot up my arms, and adjusted the semi hard on in my pants instead. My neck cracked slightly as I rolled it around, trying to come up with a plan that would get me off my feet and on my bed fast without much social interaction.

For a second, I thought of calling Scott to just pick me up, because I only wanted to be home right now. But I somehow knew it would be in vain. That's just the way it was now. He was probably curled on a sofa next to Kira, watching some stupid RomCom. If it were not in my interest to see him happy, I’d be sulking and furious again about how he’d abandoned me for yet another girl. Too bad I love him.

I didn’t really want to see anyone else right now, so I decided to stop being a whiny little bitch and start running again. At a slower pace though. No need to kill myself. Yet.

Unfortunately, my mind wandered again.

I had kissed Derek. Derek Hale.

The taste of it had been so bitter sweet. When he almost made me submit I had panicked and lost face. I was nowhere near giving in, forgiving him or myself. I wanted out, had needed a distraction. A good one. Magic had been no option, since I had three spells working already, which kept my spark busy. So, Taser. My mind had rushed through multiple possibilities and one stuck. It had been perfect. Except for the first few moments where I almost had a heart attack.

Oh, what a triumphant feeling it had been as he allowed me to move closer, even if his admission had been so passive. I didn’t count on him reacting the way I assumed he would, since I had learned painfully since I met him that he was usually as predictable as a bushfire. A self-loathing and sacrificing bushfire. But it would still work either way for an effective disturbance.

With him, I had regularly been stuck somewhere between 'Fuck you' and 'I'd fuck you’ and right then and there, it was no different. I was angry that he left, sad that even after returning he didn’t seek us out, didn’t seek me out, didn’t even _call_ to say he was back, and devastated that I still craved him despite everything.

Although I had drilled myself to understand that those feelings were a one sided thing, no matter how much I read into our glances and touches, the stiffness I had first met, when I pressed my lips on his, had been a frustrating confirmation. But like I said, nothing I didn’t expect.

He could have mauled me right then and there and I would have been alright with the way I ended. My heart had already been shredded months before and frankly, I didn’t expect him to be able to inflict any more pain. And yet there he was, spilling gasoline over my shreds and flicking with the lighter, not even consciously. I was mentally prepared to be punched, thrown over the bar, bitten. Anything. Except for what actually happened.

Thanks to my obsession with Lydia, rejection was a thing I considered normal. Just as much as being ignored by anyone who caught my interest. I never thought anyone would want me. _Could_ want me. But as I had recently learned that there were human, non-fictional individuals, that actually did desire me in one way or another, it was even more devastating. It shattered me to realize that just _he_ didn’t. I found out that several people had had crushes on me, but I was still in love with the only one that never had.

And then, he decides it’s completely okay to return my kiss. Asshole.

Finally, I reached my house again. I had run myself to exhaustion twice and was now a mess on wobbly legs. The stairs to the upper floor made me groan as I started peeling out of my drenched v neck, barely hindering myself from stumbling over my own feet. So much for my improvement on grace. I scowled.

As I entered my room I kicked off my shoes and sunk down next to my bed, letting my head fall back to rest upon it. The room was in the same mess it always had been in, aside from the research material on supernatural creatures, which was now neatly packed away in one of my lockable drawers, right next to the Reeses and the whiskey bottle I hid from dad, the sheets on the desert wolf on the bottom of the stack.

I just no longer felt like I was the pack researcher, so no one needed immediate access. I didn’t even think of us as pack anymore to be honest. By now, I handled most of the emergency cases by myself, sometimes with the help of Liam. All while the Alpha rolled in the sheets with the fox, usually not even knowing that another creature had crawled into town. Even if he had, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to make the tough decisions. I had no choice. Hence, I clung to researching. I was so used to it, the hours of digging through information to find what I needed. It was the one thing that always stayed.

I couldn’t help glancing at the window through which Derek had so often decided to come in to ‘gently’ ask for my help. That usually involved some threatening on his part and being pushed up against a wall on mine.

As my eyes wandered back to the head side of the bed, I chuckled. It had suffered some deep scratches and marks from when I had been bound to it. When Dad had asked about it I just mumbled something about accidently surprising Scott. He accepted it like it was totally possible that I had the ability to startle a werewolf into accidently scratching my bed.

Anyway, it was no wonder I had still fallen for Derek although he had been so rough with me. He tested my boundaries, made me want to crawl up the wall, punch his face… he was a challenge I loved to take. Even if there had always been a wall around him, one I kept prodding but couldn't completely break down, I felt drawn.

I was about to act on my masochistic affinities and loose myself in reliving the memory of how Derek had leant towards me for the kiss, and how I finally got a real taste of his lips, as someone knocked on my window.

I didn’t shift as it opened, only turned my head when I heard a mumbled curse, catching sight of a stumbling figure. A jolt of disappointment flashed in my chest and I hated myself for it. Stupid me. As if anyone else would climb through my window. That didn’t happen in forever. And only the polite one’s ever knocked.

“Hi Scott. You do know I have a front door.”

No, I didn’t expect anyone else to come. I didn’t need anyone else coming in and making themselves at home as if it was their house. Their territory. I didn’t belong. It was just right that he knocked and didn’t barge in. I wasn’t even that sure anymore if I was still part of Scott’s pack. I was just an extra tagging along.

But hey, who needs a pack anyway? Not me, not me, I am the emissary.

I felt a smile tug on my lips. Oh do I like telling myself sugar coated lies. Sweet on the tongue but bitter nonetheless when you swallow them down.


	5. With great power comes recklessness

After Scott the inquisitor had left, I lastly took the much needed shower. He had tried not to ask me directly, but even if he had been more often absent than not, he was still my best friend, my brother. I knew, that he knew that I had an electrifying encounter with a certain scowly face the second he cautiously started asking about my weekend, while fiddling with anything from my desk he got his hands on. And because he didn’t dare to question directly I played it off nonchalantly. Like the asshole I apparently am.

Still, I was curious when exactly the two had talked, if they had just coincidently met each other somewhere (yeah, sure), how the topic came up. I could just imagine it:

_Hey Scott your bf kissed and then tasered me, so, what the fuck?_

_Get him under control._

The thought was amusing and by far better than the reality probably was, where he undoubtedly threatened at least once or twice to rip my throat out if Scott didn’t get me back under control. Sometimes it was better not to know. So I kept silent about it despite my curiosity.

When he gave up on trying to pry anything out of me, we fell into some normal chatter about Kira, supernatural stuff and lacrosse. Easy topics. Scotty boy still had been a little tense and careful, but I was anything but willing to talk about my twisted mess of feelings for Derek, which I was trying to get rid of, and paid for that by making my best friend tiptoe around me. A satisfactory feeling at the reversed roles pooled in my chest and made my smile hard-lipped.

He left pretty soon, again through the window. I was sure he would get his balls back from his girlfriend and question me again tomorrow. Oh totally looking forward to that conversation.

I wrinkled my nose as the dried sweat on my skin rewarmed shortly in the warm steam of the shower cabin before it washed off me. The water was hot enough to induce a red flush, but still unable to do anything about the shivers that rolled over my body. Lazily, my fingers trailed the water drops that traveled down the walls in irregular patterns. When I saw how much I was shaking I placed my hands flat against the tiles.

The magic spark inside of me, which I now actually had better access to, was a hungry and greedy little thing. I gently cooed it to shape into my little party tricks and in turn, it left my mind stirred like it would be after a few good rounds in a mixer. And that on top of physically draining me if I dared to approach anything more difficult. Deaton had told me it was like a muscle, which needed training to get stronger and more flexible. Soreness was to be expected.

At least that whole shit didn’t go down instantly anymore. The first few times, I had used my new power recklessly enough that I had managed to almost drown myself and knocked myself out cold. I had attempted to stay underwater, _breathing_ water, in the lake in the preserve, trying to make peace with some of my demons.

For a couple of minutes it had worked, although it had been hard, mostly because it felt like breathing against the weight of a giant boulder lying on my chest. It had hurt and I had been tense and terrified. But it was a feeling I was accustomed with, so I had willed myself through it, thinking that would be the worst of it.

But of course, it had all turned for the worse just moments later. The air had tasted more and more like mud and water. Panic came along with it and I had realized what a stupid idea it had been, considering I was scared of drowning. Somehow, I had frantically scrambled close enough to the shore to collapse there into a shivering bundle instead of sinking to the ground and breathing in an actual lungful of the brackish water.

After I had awoken again, trembling and anxious, my body still not cooperating and breathing shallowly instead, I had realized that no one would have known where I was, no one would have known I was missing until my dad finished his shift. I felt bad about it, I knew what it would have looked like. It hit too close to home. Recently, there had been more alone time for me than whenever dad had grounded me and it wouldn’t have looked like the terribly stupid accident it would have been. A bitter taste stayed in my mouth.

When I had asked Deaton later on if there was a possibility to breathe water, he had given me a concerned look. Shrugging it off, I had explained that I was just curious and was not going to try it anytime soon, conveniently leaving out the fact that I already had. He didn’t need to know, as he’d probably spill the info at an inconvenient time to someone even more inconvenient, even if I asked him to keep quiet about it.

Ironically enough, the solution he gave me had been just to _not_ breathe in. Filtering the water for the oxygen that was neeeded, and keeping out the water part was a task almost impossible. He had reminded me of my first mountain ash experience and that it was far easier to believe that the air you already had in your lungs was enough to last for as long as you needed it.

Just what the counsellor had told me: don’t take that last breath, just hold it a bit longer. Even if it hurts, make more time for someone to reach out and save you.

Who would come? I couldn’t wait for anyone to save me. I had been holding my breath for months.

I let my head sink to the tiled wall, chuckling softly without humor, and turned the water to cold until the shivers shaking my body were not only induced by the strenuous magic I had practiced. My muscles would probably kill me for this tomorrow, but right now they were numb and for once, I finally craved the warmth of my bed.

When I headed back, goose bumps crawled on my skin as the air engulfed me and my bare feet touched the cold ground. Small creaks caused by my weight on the floor were the only sounds I could hear. The silence in the house no longer left me as fidgety as before. Nothing did. I was stronger now. And frankly, there wasn’t much more to fear.

Just the threat of bad dreams I couldn’t wake up from was as present as it had been before. It was so tiresome to go to sleep restless only to wake up exhausted. A wonderfully vicious circle. Inattentively I tapped every finger of my right hand once against the thumb. Four. The habit would probably stay with me until the day I died.

As I opened the door to my room, lost in thoughts and shivering, I groaned as my eyes found my bed. It was not quite as deserted as I had left it fifteen minutes ago. My gaze wandered over well-formed calves upwards towards the spectacular ass, which twitched slightly as the muscles in the back over it worked to make the figure on my sheets turn to glimpse at me through dark lashes.

“Hi Stiles.”

A grumbly sound escaped my throat. His voice was off. As long as he kept his mouth shut, I could admire the sight, though it didn’t make my heart jump like the first time I had seen it. If you ever saw an imitated artwork, you knew the feeling. It could be the best art forgery in existence and still you would feel unsatisfied as soon as you realize it’s just an imitation. A sad excuse to the real thing.

“Gabe. I told you to stop that.” I waved a gesture vaguely in his direction.

An eyebrow cocked up as he rolled over on his side leisurely. God those eyebrows. I tried to enjoy the strong jaw, the stubble, the broad shoulders… It was all I wanted. I craved it and I could still pretend I wasn’t an asshole for doing this. I’m good at pretending.

“And I told you that it’s the only way,” Gabe practically purred, slowly shifting further around to lie on his back.

I frowned for a moment and then sighed tiredly. Sex was not the worst idea. It was intuitive, wild, blissful. No thinking needed. It could definitely shut me up for a while, if I had enough energy left to get it up. But the alluring view surely helped a lot with that aspect. No wonder I wasn’t successful with any hook ups if this here was available for me.

With the towel I roughly dried my hair before throwing it over the back of my chair. Grabbing a small jar, I strolled to the window, ignoring the stare that was burning on my back. When I had closed the window and set up the mountain ash line, I walked towards the bed, from where Gabriel was watching me, his eyes raking over my naked body in unhidden lust, while he lazily started to stroke his already hard dick.

A growl rumbled through my throat at the sight. If any werewolf had been around to hear it, I would probably have been laughed at, but as it was only me and a demon it sounded animalistic enough in my ears to be considered a sound of feral arousal.

As I put a knee on the sheets and crawled towards him, his free hand curled around my neck roughly and pulled me close, his fingernails pressing marks into my skin. I rubbed my nose along his softly, closing my eyes to the feel of a warm body underneath mine, and other parts of me joined the party right when I dove in for a demanding and hungry kiss.

I pulled away, examining the gorgeous face in front of me. _Not the same_. It’s what I needed to remind myself. It was easy to forget. Questioning eyes met mine, seemingly unhappy with the pause if the annoyed twitch of his eyebrows was any indication. I tilted my head and the corner of my mouth tilted upward slightly. My legs felt tired, but my mind was still rushing through things I didn't want to touch.

“But don’t take too much tonight. I should at least be able to walk into school tomorrow on my own.”

With a sudden shift, which caused me to grunt in surprise, I was pinned on my back by his weight, Gabe’s naked dick rubbing on my thigh . The feeling tingled through and through and made my own cock twitch in anticipation to be touched. He grinned knowingly and bent down enough to bite into one of my nipples. A groan escaped my lips and I arched my back to close the distance to his firm body. His grip tightened around my wrists as he grinded into me painfully hard. My eyes rolled back as first a sting of pain and then pleasure rumbled through my bones.

“Oh baby boy…I could always carry you?”

Before I could shoot back an answer his mouth clamped down over my already existent hickey and my vision was filled with white and black dots of hurt and desire as he bit down. My brain finally shut up.

Yeah, he could carry me.


	6. Getting down and Getting up

 

_Knock knock._

I groaned into my pillow, eyes opening a second before fluttering shut again.

“Stiles get up. School.”

Trying not to moan, I bit my lower lip and concentrated on breathing deeply into my pillow.

“Stiles, I mean it. If you don’t get your ass down in five I’m eating bacon. All of it actually.”

My eyes shot open and I turned my head to the closed – and luckily locked – door.

“You wouldn’t dare!” I rasped out.

“Test me,” he answered.

He totally would. God damnit. I barely stopped myself from another sound and grinded my teeth instead. After another second of silence, I growled. That had really become a stupid habit because of the whole hanging-out-with-wolves thing.

“Fine. I’ll be down in five. Don’t touch the bacon!”

A chuckle reached my ears as Dad turned to head down the stairs. Nu-uh. We’re not having that. I’m usually the one leaving him a little frustrated. It’s my duty as annoying son. Even now. My mind twirled in its usual mess and suddenly an idea stuck.

“You can have the turkey bacon stuff though!” I added as an afterthought. It wasn’t the best retort, but it would annoy him. He hated that stuff.

I smiled victoriously as I heard the chuckle turn into a displeased huff at my proposition. Then, my body was shoved forward as strong hands scratched down my back before digging roughly into the soft skin on my hips. Hissing I threw a vicious look over my shoulder to the man who was ramming his cock deep into me for all he was worth.

“Whoops?” Gabe offered grinning deviously. I responded with a snarl.

“You heard him. Better finish this fast.”

Emphasizing my words, and ignoring the complaining huff, I held onto the sheets for leverage and pressed my hips into his with a wicked roll. He moaned, surprised. My lips twitched as I enjoyed his thickness filling me. That was stuff I now knew about. Not just the simple ‘Hey I have a hole where you can stick your extra limb in and ram it into me repeatedly’, but how to give pleasure and make someone moan for me. It was a new kind of power and I relished it.

The grin on my lips vanished as I felt him push in deeper in response, angling just slightly differently to poke at the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of me. I gasped for air when he hit it, arching my back in desire and then whined as he pulled back teasingly fast, only to push back in agonizingly slow. The electric jolt that had passed through me slowly succumbed, almost vanishing, before he hit it again. Of course that demon asshole knew how to make me moan as well. And had more experience.

“Fuck. Me. NOW,” I demanded, my voice hoarse and low from lust and pleasure.

“So bossy today..”

The Incubus was still happy to oblige and pistoled into me recklessly. My breathing hitched and I reached for my precum leaking cock, which was rubbing against my sheets ever so slightly with every deep thrust of the man behind me. The friction was enough to make me lose focus, my hips not always jerking back in the right rhythm, but not even close to satisfying the raw hunger for release that gnawed at my insides.

I felt one of his hands sliding down around my hip and pushing my fingers away from my dick, just to wrap themselves around my slick shaft. He closed them a little too tightly to be comfortable and the slight pain only added to my pleasure as he started stroking in rhythm to his balls slapping against my ass. I whined.

Grinding, Gabriel’s other hand crawled over my back, leaving a collection of superficial scratches on the way up. His pace got more rigid as he reached my neck, fingers creeping into my hair. A shiver ran down my spine as he gripped my hair, like he loved to do.

My breathing was made up of throaty groans and my hips moved more and more by themselves, impaling myself on him. I already felt the tug in my lower groin as the pressure built. My eyes closed and all my senses itched to give in to the stimulation, but I knew the rules. I didn’t have to wait long. He leant down and bit into my earlobe.

“Cum for me,” he finally whispered and yanked my head back forcefully by my hair.

My eyes opened wide. The pull was enough to let me stand on the edge for another short moment, the endless sea beneath me, pain keeping me above the pleasure, enhancing it beautifully. I whimpered as I finally relinquished and fell.

“Derek!”

I hit the cold water and my mind went silent as I writhed and twisted under Gabe’s assaulting movements, not wanting it to stop. For a moment I was drowning in pure bliss, twitching around the hardness still buried inside me, pulling it deeper. As my vision was filling with colors again, reality caught up with me. I wanted to bury my face in the pillow, shut it out a little longer. But there was no way to escape it. I was a horrible horrible person.

Gabriel’s hips stuttered frantically a few more times, almost uncomfortable in my sensitive state, before he stopped, deeply lodged inside me as he pumped a load of cum into me. I felt the heat spread inside me and it caused my spent dick to twitch with interest. When his spurts stopped, he let go of my hair and I gave in to the urge to hide my face, just to not see his.

“Oh _mon amour_ , that bad?” he cooed.

I groaned in reply, before I was manhandled around, the twitching and slowly softening dick still inside of me. A hand gripped my chin with force, turning my head and I reluctantly opened my eyes to Derek’s face.

“Isn’t that why it works so well for you?” I mumbled disgruntled.

My chest tightened as I examined every detail of his face. It was so perfectly the same, so flawless. The perfect imitation. Slowly, I reached up and let my fingers ghost over the stubble, before touching the soft lips. He let me. A content sigh slipped past them as his eyes flashed in a weird glowy lime green, just when I felt my energy leaving me. His eyes returned to normal and his gaze dropped to mine.

“True. But it makes _me_ feel bad that _you_ feel so bad about it. I’m not heartless. This is supposed to be about pleasure, not guilt. You’re truly better than anything they deserve.”

I let my hand fall down on the bed, letting it bounce on the mattress, and huffed in open disbelief at his words. It was ridiculous. He had coaxed me into this contract. He was a god damn demon. How was he allowed to feel bad about it now?

Although, I have to admit he was rather friendly for one, as he was not completely reluctant to explain the weird mechanics of his ways. For example that he would keep his own appearance if the person he ravished stayed asleep. The absolutely plausible reasoning (ha ha) behind that was, that a sleeping person would integrate the happenings in a dream, weave it in with their desires. But if someone awoke, like lucky old me had, he changed his face to the one his partner desired, if they were still on board of the whole energy draining sex train. No way around it.

It had been a stupid idea to agree to it, but I had been so sure that letting go would be easier if I was just allowed to have him for one single night. Only one fucking night where his sole focus was me.

But of course it hadn’t ended after one night.

“I enjoy how you fuck me, but it’s hard with his face on you. It’s a hell of a lot different from just masturbating to the thought of him. It feels unfair, even if he will never know…I was supposed to move on, remember?”

Gabriel’s concerned face fell and he chuckled. Yeah right. Just laugh at me. I scowled. His reaction irritated me, but he wasn’t at fault. It had been my decision.

“Yeah you totally have. Your distractions are pretty good. It will just take a little longer.”

I groaned. The night I made my deal with the Incubus I promised myself to let go of whatever it was that I had misinterpreted between me and Derek. The trust, the friendship, which apparently wasn’t worth much, judging from the fact that he neither told me about his power loss, the fling with Braeden nor his search for the Desert Wolf.

Of course he had no idea that I knew everything about it nonetheless. Or how I had started losing weight, smiling less, avoiding his loft just to not see them together, in the same way I did when he rolled around in the sheets with that diabolic teacher trying to kill us. And not only in the way teachers do with students every day. No one seemed to notice.

And then…

 _La Iglesia_. My insides still twisted every time my thoughts tumbled back to the day. I had been forced to choose between my brother and him, mortally wounded. I couldn’t even remember what my last words to him had been, but I knew it hadn’t been enough.

The entire ride I had been distressed, on the verge of a panic attack. My brother was in the claws of a lunatic werejaguar with murderous berserkers at her will and Derek, the man who had been a wolf all his life, was painfully human. I was scared for both of them, not willing to dwell on the thought of what would happen to me if I lost them both that night.

I wasn’t sure if I was glad or wretched that Derek had let it slide, if he realized it at all. For one moment he had looked alarmed, when my eyes lingered on him instead of Liam a bit too long. But before my eyes gave away that I longed for his calming touch, his soothing voice in my ear, longing for the lie that everything will be okay, I blurted out the Mantra.

When we all were back home safely, the first panic attack in months had truly hit me, when I realized that Derek had _died._ And could have stayed dead. My mind had blocked it out so successfully that I had been surprised by it standing in the kitchen, a mug of coffee in my hands when my lungs stopped working.

The news announcer on the radio still went through the details of some shooting incident in which a man had been killed. I gasped without breathing, my legs giving way as the mug slipped from my hands and crashed on the floor, splattering the dark liquid everywhere, seeping into the space between the tiles like black blood. Right when I had hit the floor to join the broken pieces and lost conscience, Dad had stormed in and cradled me in his arms until I came back to him.

It was the starting point of me trying to distract my mind from haunting memories, my helplessness, my distress. I had started running, stumbling and falling often enough to make my knees a mess in blue, red and green. But I kept running. I doubled efforts in research and school stuff, trained Lacrosse with Scott, went out with Malia. But the panic had stayed, lingering just underneath the surface. At night it had crawled through my pores and left me shaking, shivering, screaming.

Yeah, the distractions had worked perfectly.

After handing my v- card to Gabe I had added sex, a little more drinking, flirting, partying, some enlightening visits to a tattoo and piercing studio, magic as well as emissary lessons. All together they were somehow working, but it still missed something. Someone. Socially I had become more isolated or rather… superficial. Breaking it off with Malia had been hard. I really liked her, but she deserved better, deserved more than I could give her. And I needed more than she could give.

I propped myself up on my elbows, glancing at my clock (already over my time limit, of course) and then back to the Incubus who was still wearing Derek’s face like it was his own.

“You, mister, worked _me_ pretty well. But I still have to get going now.”

With an exaggerated eye roll (I’m still hilarious) he pulled out, leaving me with an even emptier feeling in my guts. I shrugged it off, before the feeling lingered, swinging my legs to the side of my bed and gracefully jumping out of it.

Cum slowly seeped from my hole and dripped onto my carpet. Wrinkling my nose at the mess that I would have to clean later today, I grabbed a pair of black leather pants and a wine red pullover with enough ripped spots to be on the verge of too exposing and headed for the bathroom. If I was going to smell like sex to the werewolf noses awaiting me, I could also look like sex. It was a good look on me.

After a quick clean up I hesitated at the door and looked back at the naked man resting in my sheets. My eyelids dropped and I rubbed a hand over my face.

“I kissed him, you know.”

Gabe looked up to me, eyebrows raised almost comically. Of course he knew my nemesis was back in town, but I had never encountered him and Gabe knew better than to breach the topic. It was good that way, gave me time to continue my recovery and ignore what was right before my eyes. All that was apparently needed, was me running into him once to lose control and suck on his face like a lovesick teen. Really strange and dumb move. I usually thought of better things. I told Gabe as much.

“Oh?” was his eloquent reaction.

“Why the fuck did I do that?” I stared at the slowly drying cum on my floor.

“You can probably blame that on me.”

My eyes snapped up to see Gabe stretch, his tone implying that he was in no way feeling guilty about it. Taking a step back into the room I crossed my arms in front of my chest, frown already forming.

“How?” The beautiful man grimaced at the question.

“You’ve been sleeping with me for a while now. It has…effects.”

Now that was new information. I growled.

“Effects. Like what?”

“Like you using your talented talented lips for something else than talking. Seduction is part of my nature.”

With an angry huff I stared at him. I glanced at the clock and swore, as I was totally late, before pointing a finger at him.

“You better have a good reason for leaving that piece of information out.”

Without waiting for his answer I headed down just in time to snatch the already cooked bacon from my dad’s fingers and devoured it while he frowned at my choice of clothing. He missed my plaid shirts. Sometimes I missed them myself. Things had been different. I wanted to talk to him, tell me what was tearing me apart. But I couldn't. I couldn't tell him that I was almost falling apart, not again. I had to deal with it by myself. Skinny and defenseless Stiles maybe would have reached out, but we can't stay the same, we're all works in progress. And so, unlike the boy I used to be, I stayed silent.


	7. A dark place

When I got back from my run I wasn’t really any calmer, just more exhausted. At one point, when I had been close to the warehouse district of the city, I had caught a scent which had been denied to me just yesterday. Grass, strawberries, sun. Naturally, my wolf followed it. A mixture of anger and worry had boiled inside of me. I was still pissed at him for using his little toy on me, but also, it seemed weird for him to be around there. I would have met him on my runs or trips to the grocery store over the last weeks if he were there on a regular basis. This part of town wasn’t his, but apparently he was good at breaking all patterns that I had noted about him. Still, something in me had urged to do a quick check up on him. Just in case.

Cautiously I had crept around the shadowy alleys until my searching gaze found him, just after my nose had. He smelt like sweat, exhaustion, frustration and anger. Not quite his usual scent, but familiar nonetheless. A little whine escaped me at the thought. It shouldn't be that way. The human used to be enthusiastic and gentle in his humor. Now a new hardness had settled in his features and his body. Not to mention the development in his scent...I had a whole catalogue of his fragrance variations, even if I mostly failed to clearly distinguish the emotions that they mirrored. To me, he was a riddle wrapped up in an enigma.

His shirt had hugged his chest as he was striving forward, his hair moving around unruly. The mouth had been pressed in a hard line, the cheeks slightly flushed, small beads of sweat running down his temple. There was a nagging voice in my head, telling me that his reaction to angering situations was quite similar to mine: run until you feel better. There was the slight possibility that he had gotten that trait from me, since he normally faced and battled the monsters he encountered, but with another frown, I shushed it. He definitely hadn't run the day before _._

On silent paws I had trailed him for a while, listening to the song his thrumming heart laid out for me. It had hammered away in his chest, following the rhythm of his feet on the ground. Stiles had been weirdly focused, running steadily and _fast_. Even on my silent paws I had had problems keeping up with his pace while remaining silent enough for him not to notice me.

I had smelt the exhaustion of the teen grow and worried that he would stumble and fall, that his legs wouldn’t keep up anymore, but instead of slowing down he had gone _faster._ My ears had twitched disapprovingly. He was so infuriatingly persistent. In everything he did.

And then, after a brief sprint, he had stopped dead in his tracks, looked up, his empty stare vanishing and confusion bleeding into his eyes. For a moment it felt like he knew someone was watching him. Hiding hurriedly I had spied on him flicking his eyes on his surroundings until he seemed to recognize something. That had proved my point. This wasn’t his usual running track. It was weird enough that he was running at all. Sure, Stiles wasn’t completely untrained thanks to Lacrosse, but running never really had been his forte, even if in most encounters with supernatural creatures it was all he could or at least should do.

After a while he had sighed heavily, and started running again, a hint of pain sullying his features. A faint smell of arousal had suddenly lain underneath it all, enough to tickle my nose and make me want to move in closer. I had unconsciously trotted after him a bit, until I realized he was heading in the direction of his home. I had ignored the lingering urge to follow him there, reminding myself that I’m not a damn guard dog, and had decided to return home myself.

And so I was back, on a late Sunday afternoon, my hair full of leaves and twigs after my transformation, my mind still running away with me, the smells clinging to my nose. I really couldn't explain his sudden arousal, but he was young and more than once he had attented a pack meeting with that alluring note stuck on his skin. Hence, it was completely improbable. The situation was a little weird, just like how I could still smell it. Frustrating. I paced the room like an animal in a cage, like some part of me hadn’t transformed back from my wolf form. My skin felt too tight, too tingly.

On a whim I threw my head back and roared once, loud enough for the birds in a nearby tree to flee like in a cheesy werewolf movie. And I was tempted to play along to the cliché, because right now I really wanted to use my claws in a fight, sink my fangs into something. Break bones.

I was agitated and not quite sure what was causing it. I wanted wolves. No, _pack_. Scott, Liam, Isaac, Kira, Lydia, even goddamn Stiles. Running with them in the woods, chasing deer, wrestling around, falling asleep in a warm pile of bodies, hearing the heartbeats, their breath evening out in soft slumber. That was somehow…new and very old at the same time. The last time I craved that was before the fire happened.

I was never meant to be an Alpha, and while I had been one, I had failed miserably at making my new wolves understand what it truly meant to be _pack,_ not just a ragtag group that fought off everything that goes bump in the night just out of pure necessity to survive. Pack was family, love, home. It offered protection and understanding in a stable environment. We didn't get much of a chance to built that in our hassle to save everyone.

Somehow Boyd and Erica had found it in each other, Isaac in Scott and Allison, Jackson in Lydia. But the moments in which we all had been content together had been rare. Thinking about it, it had somehow always been Stiles who made it work. He dragged the pack together, walked into my apartment like he owned it, ordered pizza and made everyone watch one of his favorite films. It was the closest to pack bonding we ever got.

I sighed heavily.

Stiles. My thoughts and my wolf seemed to gravitate around him since Saturday and it was starting to thoroughly annoy me already. How had I missed that he had been somehow involved in everything here? He was the boy who figured it out, who stepped in to take the unenjoyable tasks (like amputating arms) that needed to be done when no one else would, who saved me from the Kanima despite my threats and growling.

Slowly I ran my fingers through my hair. Despite all denying, the spastic kid had somehow managed to stay on my good side and earned my trust. No, not just mine. Everyone’s. He even worked on rescuing Jackson, the boy who had tormented him throughout High School relentlessly, the asshole who was in a relationship with Lydia. _Lydia_ for fucks sake. And unexpectedly all I wanted to do now was to cuddle the poor human who went through all that shit. But something had shifted in our relationship since I left, and now it was _my_ job to fix it again, especially because his attack still riled me up. And…the kiss.

My gum itched with the need to drop my fangs while I clenched and unclenched my aching fingers. This was definitely not the best place to let my mind wander. Stiles had done it to _distract_ me, not because it was something he wanted. I growled when the memory resurfaced nonetheless.

Frowning, I forced myself to sit down on the couch with some of my papers, focusing my mind on something that was neither connected with claws, cuddling or anything involving sinful lips and how to occupy them with something else than rambling. But of course my concentration was off, so I shoved them aside again, directing my strolling mind on my anchor, drawing the Triskele on my thigh with my fingertips over and over again. Matching the motion I started mumbling.

_Alpha. Beta. Omega._

I didn’t have to do that chant thing in a long while. Why did my control suddenly slip? Why did I feel the urge to surround myself with pack again? The desire had been buried under ashes and burnt wood. I had been just fine this morning. Okay, not exactly fine, but settled enough not to wolf out randomly. Even if it wasn’t that random, but rather connected to a certain person, their behavior, their smell.

Huffing I shook my head and blinked a few times.

As I pushed the thoughts away again, my wolf whined inside of me. I needed to find control again, so I got up and took a shower, ate something, napped (or at least closed my eyes for a while and pretended to). Basically, I took care of any usual needs, which I sometimes forgot to supply, all in the attempt to dampen the yearning that was building up inside of me. It helped a little, but everything was still colored in dull shades of grey that left me longing in my loneliness.

A couple hours later I was back on my ‘research’, scrolling through some weirdly colored glittery page on mystical beings, which was probably as far from scientific as my research could get, and distinctly ignoring the craving in my chest, finally getting some kind of grip on my wolf’s need to pace back and forth. Trying hard to find something I didn’t yet know about that damn desert wolf, which also wasn’t obviously completely made up bullshit, was still hard and when my phone announced a message I was more than glad to shove the heated up thing away from me.

Setting my laptop aside I grabbed my phone, glancing at the screen. A groan rumbled through me and I let my head fall back onto the backrest of the couch. I was an idiot. No wonder I couldn’t sit still for five minutes. I looked to the large window front in disbelief, but only saw dark clouds in the sky, which covered what I was looking for.

My phone displayed two messages:

_Reminder: Moon. [deactivate / remind again later]_

_1 new message – Scott: Hey talked 2 Sti…_

With a huff I clicked on the text. At least I now knew what was causing me to behave like a trapped animal. I was one. Or a big part of me. It was still odd, because the moon wouldn’t be full for two more days and I usually didn’t crave a pack around me so much that it showed in my behavior. I’ve been a lone wolf too long for that to happen. And if my attitude was affected in any way, I was mostly just a little grumpier. But now, my skin itched with the unyielding demand to be shed. My legs felt restless and made me want to go for another run, preferably with another werewolf.

My eyes flicked to the illuminated screen.

[11:34 pm – _from_ Scott]: _Hey talked 2 Stiles. didn’t even mention it when I asked about his weekend. Will ask him tmrw!!_

I growled lowly. That was certainly a little bizarre. Those two didn’t really have secrets from each other as far as I knew. Two peas in a pot. Maybe he had just been exhausted from his run this afternoon. He definitely looked like it.

I was about to type that suggestion up in a message when I realized that it wasn’t only unnecessary, because Scott didn’t sound too concerned about Stiles keeping quiet (which I honestly couldn’t comprehend in the slightest), but would also give away that I had followed the boy, which was certainly one of my dumber ideas.

[11:37 pm – _to_ Scott]: _ok._

I was about to put the phone aside when it vibrated again. With a sigh I opened the new message.

[11:38 pm – _from_ Scott]: _u up 4 training tmrw? I’m getting rusty and Liam’s still new. Also, moon!_

My eyebrows climbed up on my forehead while I pondered. It was convenient timing: I would get some pack feels and didn’t even have to ask for it. Hopefully it would ease my wolf. And I could smash Scott into the ground a couple times. Benefits for everyone. Smirking I typed my answer.

[11:40 pm – _to_ Scott]: _sure. train station?_

I hesitated for a moment. I knew I wanted to see him again, talk to him. We needed to settle this. I added the question before I looked too deep into what made me ask.

[11:40 pm – _to_ Scott]: _sure. train station? Brat coming along?_

I tilted my head slightly, wondering. I couldn’t quite imagine him showing up like nothing had happened. But as I wasn’t really able to foresee any of his actions at the moment, it was still a possibility. Also, most of the time he didn’t miss out on pack time. The boy had always watched us, either sprawled out on a couch, seat or, if nothing else was available, even the bare floor with research or homework surrounding him. His sparkling honey colored eyes had continuously switched back and forth from staring at the papers and gawking at us attacking each other, sometimes throwing in snarky comments, at least when he wasn’t absent mindedly chewing on the end of a pen. Every now and then he had even offered helpful advice or ideas for new approaches to Scott.

Now, after his Incubi makeover, it didn’t seem so likely to happen, although Kira and Scott insisted on Stiles behaving mostly normal around them. But the fox didn’t really know him long enough to distinguish what was to be considered normal from Stiles and Scott was too smitten with her and also occupied with his first real beta to observe closely enough. The ‘less talking’ part they had mentioned was definitely out of the ordinary. And the not-fidgeting? More than ominous.

[11:40 pm – _from_ Scott]: _cool. Idk. Will ask that tmrw 2. Night!_

Not bothering to answer the last text I grabbed the laptop and continued my research. I groaned when several pop ups opened themselves after I clicked a link. Most of them showed naked women rubbing themselves all over _dogs._ Great. That’s what you get for looking up _female wolf_ , _woman wolf_ and the likes for hours and deteriorate into the hellish depth of the internet.

I eyed the pictures shortly with morbid curiousity before closing them one by one. I certainly should get that adblock thing Stiles always used to talk about. The internet was a dark dark place.

When all but one were closed, I hesitated. In this last one there were no dogs, just a couple pictures showing a lanky teen with dark hair and a cheeky grin. My chest contracted weirdly, a sneer behind my eyes, a mischievous laugh ringing in my ears. I frowned when I read the words blinking in neon next to him: _Want to see me get knotty?_

As I scrolled down, three gifs came into view, which immediately started playing. The first one showed the young guy licking his pink lips, wetting them before he wrapped them around the big head of a black rubber dildo. I tried to swallow over the dry lump in my throat, while my wolf crept closer to the surface underneath my heated skin.

In the second one he expertly and quite unceremoniously shoved the thing down his throat, lids shut and his long lashes throwing thin shadows over his cheeks, which were dotted with a few stray moles. He opened his eyes to stare at the camera lasciviously as he pulled off, some saliva clinging in thin strings to his toy and his tongue between his parted lips. My dick twitched, already half hard.

The third one opened with the long-limbed boy positioning himself over the dildo when it came fully into view. My eyes flicked down to where it was attached to the small table, finding an already existent small knot at its base, which was connected to something with a slim… cable?

Not many knew that it was actually a thing and I hadn't bothered telling the other wolves. It was a rare occurrence with bitten wolves, even more so with Betas, although not unheard of. Maybe I should tell Scott about it at some point...definitely not now.

I bent forward to examine it more closely and backed away abruptly when realization hit me. The knot was inflatable. Knotty. Ha. My triumph of understanding succumbed when the boy started sinking down, throwing his head back, eyes shut closely as he forced the knot inside of him. I shifted in my seat, my blood boiling, my teeth sharper than they should be.

Almost casually I adjusted myself in my sweats, when the mouse hovered over the play button of the video, my feral side already clawing through my skin. I craved soft flesh and skin to leave marks on, hips to hold on, a neck to bite, a mate to knot and _claim_.

Snarling in frustration I pulled the loose pants down, impatiently ripping at the material to free my now completely hard and throbbing cock. I only gained minor satisfaction when I gripped my erection and pressed play. A frustrated rumble rose in my throat when the boy moaned lewdly as he prepared himself for the dildo. And if the guy in the video started looking a little like someone I knew, with his moles and bright and lascivious smile, it was purely coincidental and had nothing to do with my hard-on.

Who was here to judge anyway?


	8. Boundaries

_Brrr. Brrrr._

Groaning I pulled a pillow over my head, whishing I had turned that stupid thing off before sleeping. Especially on nights approaching the moon I needed the sleep or I could get really grumpy. Grumpier. And if I wanted to play with the pups it was better not to be completely on edge. I growled into the mattress.

But if I was honest with myself, I knew I would never turn it off. I just couldn’t, not if there was a chance that one of them was in need of my help. Not that they had called me for help in the months prior. But still, I couldn’t.

When my heart finally calmed again, I reached for my phone. I raised my eyebrows at the time, since I usually was up before the sun was (I just wasn’t the type to sleep in) then clicked on the message.

[10:14 am – _from_ Scott]: _hey. r u sure he tasered you?_

I stared at the screen, annoyance welling up. With a small growl I typed my short answer. Who jokes about getting tasered? On the right setting those stupid things hurt, even a werewolf. Especially when Stiles is involved, who knows enough about our species to kill each one of us separately in a different and very painful way. Honestly, the thought should scare me more, but I truly wasn’t able to envision that the honey-eyed boy could ever bring himself to do anything like that. If he ever tried, we probably deserved it. Maybe I also deserved the way he had treated me? But I hadn’t really acted differently, had I?

[10:15 am – _to_ Scott]: _no._

I waited for a few seconds, expecting a fast reply to my sarcasm, but as nothing happened I slipped out from under the cozy covers, which suddenly only felt suffocating instead of comforting, and strolled to the kitchen to make some coffee. I didn’t think I would be able to deal with anymore bullshit without some caffeine in my veins. When the first warm cup was in my hand the device vibrated again.

[10:20 am – _from_ Scott]: _rly????_

Rolling my eyes I sipped at my coffee. Of course he didn’t think it was irony. How could someone with such a sarcastic best friend be so oblivious? He would absolutely get an extra hard kick in training for considering for even a second I would make something like that up and call him at four in the morning for it. The boy was seriously too naïve sometimes.

[10:21 am – _to_ Scott]: _…NO. why are you even asking?_

Once more several minutes passed in which I emptied another cup and headed for the bathroom. I had only one explanation for his weird question: he had talked to Stiles. And apparently the cheeky brat had told another story than I had. I was pretty curious to hear that version, but I probably wasn’t going to get it fully anytime soon. While I brushed my teeth the new message arrived.

[10:25 am – _from_ Scott]: _well…asked him & he only said u had a talk about boundaries?_

I almost choked on the toothpaste in my mouth. Bastard. A talk about boundaries. So that’s what he was going to call it? Which fucking boundaries did I overstep with him?? I didn’t even talk to him before yesterday. If someone overstepped anything it was _him_. I mean, it had been him who had _kissed_ me. Out of the blue. Just because he was who he was.

Disgruntled I spat out and rinsed my mouth.

“ _Boundaries_ ”, I mumbled, shaking my head in disbelieve.

I took a step towards the shower, shoving the phone away from me when its buzzing signaled another incoming message. I considered reading it after my shower, but my curiosity made me grab it again with a resigned huff.

[10:28 am – _from_ Scott]: _anyway…pick us up after school?pls?Stiles is coming 2_

I read the message several times before my brain processed. Huh. This was… unexpected. To be honest, I had already accepted that we would play a weird game of hide and seek for a few weeks before I got to talk to him about the tension between us. But maybe I would get my chance today. At least I now knew what to anticipate. He wouldn’t surprise me like this again. Determination grew in me to settle whatever had happened between us at the bar.

[10:29 am – _to_ Scott]: _sure._

With another sigh through my nose I got into the shower. This day promised to become interesting. My wolf rumbled in agreement, as my thoughts wandered to pack. Sweet warmth enveloped me when I turned on the water and my lips started tingling.


	9. Easy Pray

Soon after my shower I had left the house, although it being still hours too early to pick Scott up. I just couldn’t sit around and so I had decided to consult Deaton. Even if I wasn’t really eager to deal with his mystifications, I was in need of a new clue and he was my best chance at the moment to find one.

Alright. Maybe not the best. There was still Stiles, but I doubted he was in any mood to talk with me. No that he usually was, but at least he had been helpful in the past. Granting my social skills sometimes are not on point, I understood subtle hints like a Taser on my skin, hence the veterinarian was my best shot. He could probably point me to some interesting sources. There had to be _something_.

Funnily enough I had never actually visited the clinic in broad daylight and was thoroughly surprised to open the door to people waiting with their pets for treatment. One of the dogs raised his head and started growling, while another ducked away under the leg of its owner. A deep and calm rumble escaped my throat before I could stop myself and both dogs relaxed a little, still wary of my presence.

“Can I help you?” a female voice chirped.

I turned my head to find a young woman batting her eyelashes at me and took a step towards the counter behind which she sat, putting on a smile and softening the frown that was lingering on my face.

“Yes. I would like to talk to Deaton”, I answered, trying to ignore the smell of want waving off her as she ogled me. It mixed with her own cheap perfume and an overly sweet scent that clung to her. She smelt oddly familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Do you have an appointment?” the brunette asked, leaning forward, obviously showing off her cleavage.

I suppressed a sigh and frowned instead. Really? Why should I have one? I didn’t even have a pet of any kind with me. Her weird flirty conversational tone irritated me and I would have loved nothing more than to walk past her and out of the cloud of perfume around her.

Even if she was a pretty young thing, everything about her just felt fake and finicky.

“No.”

“Well then…I can’t really let you through. But maybe I could help you with something?”, the woman purred again, biting her lip in the attempt to be seductive, but to me it looked just… _wrong_ , compared to when Stiles had bit his lip, which had caused a lot of unexpected reactions on my side, this here, the clumsy attempt of the girl in front of me, just made me scrunch my nose.

Then it clicked. The smell, the flirting, the sweet-talk.

She was the girl from _that_ night. The girl I had shoved off my lap to get to the bar and to Stiles. I sighed heavily. Apparently she was still attempting to get in my pants. Already planning to leave, I turned on my heel when Deaton walked out from the back room with a clipboard in his hand on which he scribbled while telling a young man the dose of medication for his dog.

“Derek”, he remarked after he had said his goodbyes without looking up. “You’re back.”

I nodded as he handed his assistant the board, who observed me and her boss, now with a sour look.

“Follow me to the back while I prepare for the next patient. Linda, file this. And do it correctly this time.”

Alan walked through the door without sparing her or me another look and I hurried to follow him.

“You could have just told me that you only like men you fag”, the girl hissed as I passed her.

Wow. How did she get to that conclusion from a mere minute of interaction?

I huffed out an unimpressed laugh and stopped in the doorway. She stared at me, fuming, her mouth twisted in open disgust. Apparently she needed alcohol in her veins to be any kind of charming. I didn’t.

“Actually, I don’t. What I’m not into, is easy prey.”

The brunette sucked in a breath, shocked at my response. If she hadn’t added the homophobic insult, I would have kept my mouth shut and just ignored her. But she was annoying, insulting and that smell of smoke and artificial sugariness on her hurt my senses. And after all, it was not just an affront. I had learned the hard way that it was better to mistrust people who approached me too fast and gave themselves away willingly. It now tended to smell like trap 10 miles against the wind. I couldn’t figure out for my life why I had even ever considered putting my dick in her.

I stared her down with a judging look, until she turned red and spun around to do her work.

As I entered the examination room, Deaton was calmly cleaning the metallic table in the middle of the room, again not bothering to meet my eyes. I wheezed in surprise as the smell in the small room hit me: strawberries, rain, grass, but a different, bitter note mixed with it. Blood. _Stiles’ blood._

Something inside me squeezed together in agony and my legs seemed to twitch with the growing worry in me. I steadied myself with a hand on the counter by the door while I tried to take calming breaths. He was alright, wasn’t he? The blood wasn’t fresh, he had to be alright. I frowned. This was also new. Of course I always felt sickened when someone of the pack was hurt, but this reaction was definitely different than it used to be.

“Interesting.”

My lids opened and I looked at my family’s old emissary, who was observing me curiously with knowing eyes, his arms crossed in front of his chest. My claws scratched over the smooth surface I was holding on to. I would have loved to grab him by his collar, but that had proved itself rather inefficient on various occasions, which was why I decided to stay verbal. For now.

“Why does it smell like Stiles’ blood in here?” I hissed angrily, my eyes flashing blue.

“He was hurt, I helped.”

I detached myself from the abused counter, still only taking shallow breaths to keep from losing focus. The smell made me want to whine and check up on the human, even if I knew that he was in school and doing just fine.

“But you don’t treat humans”, I remarked snarling.

Now Deaton frowned, looking like I had missed something in the bigger picture, while pushing himself off the table he had been leaning on.

“True. But I do treat wounds caused by _supernaturals_.”

Knitting my brows, my eyes flicked down to the table which smelt strongest like blood and pain. I remembered that Scott told me how there weirdly hadn’t been any threats since I had left. Had he just forgotten to mention this? Like the Incubus? Or had the Incubus hurt him while… I forced myself to stop my thoughts there, a disgusted shiver already running down my back. My gaze wandered back to Deaton.

“What creature?”, I asked cautiously, feeling like I was supposed to know the answer.

The veterinarian stared at me, slightly turning his head with something like concern flickering over his features. It was never a good sign when he looked concerned, but especially not when he hid it so quickly. The bald man stretched the pause a little longer before answering.

“A Crocotta.”

Huh. I had no idea what kind of thing this was and even if something in me desperately wanted to know what the hell this new creature was, there were more important questions to ask right now. I could still look it up in the bestiary later.

“When?” I inquired.

“Two weeks ago. It took his mother’s form and he was understandably hesitant to detach her head from her shoulders. I suppose the sharp teeth helped him change his mind, but unfortunately not before he made closer acquaintance with them.”

Again I could barely suppress whining when I visualized the scene. I made a mental mark to put Crocottas on the list of truly unpleasant creatures. Particularly for humans who didn’t have a pair of sharp teeth for themselves.

“Did Scott bring him in?”

Deaton’s gaze was a little unnerving, but I held it nonetheless until he shook his head.

“No, he came alone. He said Scott took care of the body.”

I growled. Scott definitely deserved another extra hard kick today. Whatever that thing had been, it had taken Claudia’s appearance and Stiles had _killed_ it, decapitating it while it looked like the mother he still mourned. And our dear true alpha, his best friend no less, had just let him handle it all by himself. Stiles probably had not only been outwardly wounded. Rage boiled in my stomach. Two weeks ago. I could have _helped_ for fucks sake.

I forced myself to return from my heated thoughts and nodded silently in something like understanding, fixing my gaze on the cold metal, which was reflecting the sunshine beautifully that fell through the small windows over Deaton’s head. With a sigh I decided that I could also ask some more questions now that I was already here. I dragged one of my no longer clawed hands over my face.

“Would you happen to know why I have trouble controlling my wolf? And why I can smell blood from _two weeks_ ago?”

The druid slowly nodded as he wandered towards me, letting his fingers wander over the claw marks I had left with a deep sigh.

“My guess would be that since you evolved, your wolf is closer to the surface. Your anchor isn’t strong enough anymore to control the nativeness of your feral side.”

Truly, my anger wasn’t as unyielding and unforgiving anymore as it used to be. Calmness and a sense of certitude had taken its place, when the pack had slowly begun to prod at my wounds and treated them gently until they finally scarred over instead of breaking open constantly. Again, it had been Stiles who had pointed out first that it was unhealthy to hold on to my rage instead of using a positive sentiment.

“When I was with Braeden it was different.”

From the corner of my eye I saw him look up to me with an eyebrow raised in something like amusement as if I had just asked a truly weird question.

“Of course it was. This here is your territory, your home, your pack, your wolves, even if you’re not their Alpha anymore. You care, and that’s the difference.”

Okay. Maybe it was dumb. I could have figured that one out on my own.

“And the other part?”

“I’m even less certain with that. He did lose quite an amount of blood that night, but not enough to create such a lasting scent. I suppose he could have come in to treat a smaller wound recently”, he mused.

“He has a key? I thought Scott had the only spare?”, I inquired incredulously, raising one of my eyebrows.

“Of course. I granted him access to my books and herbs so he can work independently on his abilities. I don’t have as much time to train him as he would like, but he is quite effective autonomously.”

I snorted. He certainly was. The boy had learned antique Latin, only relying on Lydia in the beginning when we needed translations, before impatience made him study it by himself, mastering it sooner than anyone expected. Once, he had surprised everyone with extended knowledge on some mystical creatures, only shrugging when asked by the pack how he already knew, and after further inquiry curtly explaining that he had started learning the beastiary by heart two nights before due to _boredom_. This time, I had been gone several months and couldn’t even start to comprehend what he might have learned.

“And Scott doesn’t work for me anymore, so he gave it back.”

“He…what?”, I asked, my brows once more scrunched up.

Becoming a vet had been his dream for a while now and he thoroughly enjoyed leeching the pain from the suffering animals, finding an adequate home for them or just petting them while he took care of their injuries. What could have possibly made him quit?

“He stuttered something about responsibility and time managing issues”, Deaton sighed, obviously disappointed that his pupil had left.

“Seems like I missed out on more than I thought”, I muttered.

A joyless laugh escaped Alan as he pulled out a paper from one of the drawers, handing it to me.

“You can’t even begin to imagine it.”

With my frown deepening infinitely in worry I took the page from his hands, skimming what was written on it. In the neat handwriting of the emissary several books and names were listed. In confusion I looked back up to him.

“It’s what you came for.”

I sighed. Of course he knew. Someday I would figure out how he did it, but this was certainly not the day. I bowed my head slightly in gratitude and Deaton gave me a sharp nod in return, already walking toward the door, gesturing me to follow.

Before I could walk out, Deaton blocked my way and stopped me. I opened my mouth, ten questions already on the tip of my tongue, when he started talking.

“It’s good that you’re back. I have a feeling you are needed here.”


	10. Try and handle me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's my reference for the fight scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJgQMawVByA (I mostly used the first part)

Dad dropped me off at school before he headed to work, since my baby had decided to leave me hanging earlier by not starting when I needed to leave. One more reason to despise Mondays. They are like my personal Friday 13th almost every fucking week. Not that a lot of my days have been full of sunshine recently. But hell, I am dealing with it.

Sighing, I pushed my sunglasses back up, which at least hid the dark circles under my eyes from the... lack of sleep. When Dad stopped the car, I threw my backpack over one shoulder, gave him a grin and flung myself out the door. After closing it I leant back down into the open window and saluted him.

“Thanks Dad. Have a good day. Be safe. No donuts.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head affectionately at my shenanigans before he drove off with a wave. He would probably eat some anyway, but maybe not as many because of guilty feelings toward me. I considered it a win.

Turning around in a swift motion I faced the entrance of the school. I was absolutely in no mood to endure the loud chatter and endless lessons about things I already knew, but it wasn’t really an option not to (still the Sheriff's son), so I leisurely strolled with the masses of students towards the stairs, when a wolf whistle reached my ears. Raising my eyebrows I stopped halfway up and threw a lazy look over my shoulder.

“Holy fuck Stiles. You look like you just stepped out of a rock music video. Or out of an ad for a leather magazine. Either way: Holy. Fuck.”

I chuckled and waited for Danny to catch up to me. He jogged the last steps and nudged me in the side with his elbow. We had grown a little closer since I stopped flying under the radar of basically everyone. Apparently people noticed when you changed unexpectedly, who would have thought. The dimpled boy was really a sunshine and knows all about that werewolfy thing most of my peer were caught up in. So, reaaally convenient if I wanted to rant over non-humans with another human who was not a Banshee and year-long crush. Not that we actually did talk much about anything, but I _could._

When he was just one step behind, I continued towards the entrance, a knowing smirk lingering on my lips. Danny just eyed me up once more and shook his head in disbelief. I was getting that reaction a lot lately. At first it had made me angry, knowing that they almost couldn’t comprehend that it even was within my possibilities to look _hot_. Now, I considered it a compliment, a reassurance for me to not go back. I was new, better. Stiles 2.0.

“Based on the fact that your last boyfriend wore leather all the time, I’m gonna assume that your outbreak translates to ‘I’d tap that’,” I commented smugly.

Danny’s dimples deepened when he started grinning, one of his eyebrows twitching in amusement. He tilted his head, stretching the slight pause in our conversation as if he needed time considering it.

“Maybe,” he finally decided. ‘Decided’. A ‘maybe’ really isn’t a decision.

Suppressing a snort I ran a hand through my hair, only to catch him staring again from behind my sunglasses.

“Deny it all you want my dear, but if I bent over in these pants, you would probably drool uncontrollably. Or faint.”

Danny opened his mouth to answer, but as he glanced down at the tight pants, which clearly accentuated my well trained behind, the words remained unspoken. His eyes flicked back up to mine while his mouth stayed agape for a moment before he licked his lips unconsciously. That was all the affirmation I needed and chuckled.

Then, another voice joined in, just as the characteristic _clack clack clack_ could be heard. Lydia.

“And probably half of the school,” the voice of my favorite redhead chirped.

I turned to greet her with a raised eyebrow as she strode closer in her pink high heels, making the other students hurry out of her way in fear of the queen’s wrath. Clever. I was pretty sure she’d walk right over them if they dared to stand in her way. Beautiful and scary. She wasn't ruthless, but determined.

“Only half of it?” I pouted.

Lydia rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh, flicking her lovely curls over her shoulder with a whip of her hand. She let her gaze wander over me, pondering.

“Maybe some more. You’d have to ask Danny how many boys of this school are playing for the other team. It’s possible that I missed to count some in-closet-cases.”

I smirked. She was still a dream girl: clever, hot, courageous, proud. She just stopped being mine. Hasn’t been it for ages. It was comfortable pretending for a while that my feelings remained the same, but at some point I had admitted that it just wasn’t true anymore. And still, because I can be a thick headed _idiot_ , I ended up with Malia. That certainly qualified as one of my dumber ideas. I mean, she was the daughter of an undead psychopath and had spent most of her live as an actual coyote. Not my best decision.

Both these girls had been too much to handle for me at the time I had liked them. Now, I had no doubt I could keep up with them. I was different, stronger, not so fragile, not so clueless. Ironically that also meant I no longer wanted them. My interests had shifted and by now, someone needed to be able to handle _me_.

I grinned at the thought. I was on my best way to become the bad boy mothers warned their daughters about. Not that it was anywhere near my priorities or reasons for the change. Everyone had known beforehand that I was trouble with all the sneaking out, looking for dead bodies and turning up at crime scenes. Playing with fire. But another kind of ‘mischief’ had been added to that and judging by the reactions of the people around me, mostly giggling, red cheeks, side glances, lip biting, winking and so on, many were up for a little trouble.

I was finally fit to run with the wolves I had so long tried to keep up with. Sadness crept up to me, staining the edges of the carefully painted sunny picture with its dark blue. There were no wolves to run with anymore. Our group had fallen. No monster had even been needed for it. And without Gabriel, I would have fallen apart. My lungs started to feel too small as images of how differently things could have developed raced through my head, just like they had too many times before. The air escaped me as I imagined myself, the weak old me, sinking into loneliness. No spark, no distraction, nothing. Just me, an absent best friend, a workoholic father and panic attacks. Lovely.

No. I had not fallen apart. I didn’t do that anymore. I coped. I breathed. In, Out. Simple. Once, twice, three times…

Placing one hand gently on one of her cheeks, I leaned down to kiss the other. A smile broke the annoyed look on her and the tightness of her lips. Funny how I would have killed for causing this kind of reaction some time ago. It brought a warm feeling nonetheless, but it was far from the breath taking crush I had had on her.

Now, all I needed to do, was figure out how the fuck I got over her, so I could finally get a grip on the gut clenching tingling thing I felt whenever dark stubble and green eyes crossed my mind. Or leather jackets. Or black cars. Or a certain Saturday night. Shit. Okay, I’m still learning.

“We better get inside. We’re starting to run late,” Danny said, looking around at the emptying space.

“True. You’re not waiting for Scott, are you, Stiles?”

As if. That my smile didn’t falter was just proof of how long I had pretended. It had been almost two months since Scott met up with me before school, waited at my locker to talk about stupid shit or even told me when he’d arrive. I wasn't sure if I could blame him. Everytime he saw me, he thought of what I had done to Allison, and I could no longer stand the broken look in his eyes.

“Nah, he’ll be late. Let’s get inside.”

Lydia stared at me a little too long, not bothering to frown, but showing concern nonetheless. Clever girl. She always had a good intuition. I no longer wavered under her gaze. And so, when I took the last steps towards the entrance, she easily walked along and entered after Danny when I held the door open for them.


	11. Temptations

Just like I had suspected, Scotty had found his balls somewhere in Kira’s room and pulled me aside during lunch break for a little talk. Well, he almost pulled me before his nose caught up and he blinked heavily at the probably still pretty prominent scent of my morning activities. Shrugging at his accusing stare I followed him to a secluded bench.

“Sooo…” he started tentatively, while only taking shallow breaths through his mouth.

I hid my bemusement in a tired yawn and waited for him to actually start asking. This would be a fun conversation. Not.

“I heard your scent thingie worked. Liam couldn’t find you.”

I nodded casually and pulled some Reeses from my pocket, ripping the package with my teeth. Doing that with condom wrappers is by the way a really bad idea, even if it looks badass. Scott looked on in morbid fascination as if he never saw me put anything in my mouth before. When I raised an eyebrow he guiltily averted his gaze.

“I’m growing with it.”

“So it seems”, he hesitated, fidgeting with his keys now and nodding absent-mindedly himself.

A small pause broke the already unsteady flow of the conversation. I had a feeling he would finally open the topic he wanted to talk about.

“But Derek found you.”

Booo. Bad approach. He knew as well as me that my magical abilities had had _nothing_ to do with that. I frowned and shoved one piece of peanut buttery goodness into my mouth to stop myself from throwing all of the snarky comments at him that were filling my mind right now. Although Scott’s lips twitched, he waited patiently until I gulped it down along with my retorts.

“Not because of my scent. Coincidence. Can’t eliminate that factor”, I answered, settling on a tone of indifference.

“Was it coincidence that he woke up in an alley?”

And another low hit. Boo, Scott, boo. I had a hard time controlling my facial expression. Finesse wasn't one of his strong points, but even for him this was rather rude. Not that he knew but it was not like I had left him there without protection. I was angry, but not a complete asshole.

_Yes Scott. Of course the almighty Derek was not sucker punched by me, scrawny little Stiles._

Scott stared straight at me, his shoulders were tight as he leaned in closer. I could still feel the sarcasm linger on the tip of my tongue, only waiting to be let out, so I munched on for a few seconds, then just clicked my tongue like it all had been no big deal.

“Not really. He was being a bit invasive and controlling and we had a talk about boundaries. I guess he rubbed me the wrong way that evening.”

Carefully I controlled my heartbeat and met his stare with unwavering eyes. This was an ability I loved and hated. I could lie to wolves now, and the temptation to do it was constantly there. It was easier with trusting people, and Scott trusted everybody.

I mean, it wasn’t a complete lie. My anger combined with his controlling and demanding demeanor was explosive material and _did_ rub me the wrong way and he _did_ overstep a boundary when he tried to make me submit.

The alpha blinked a few times in concentration, not even concealing that he was listening in (thanks for the trust man) and then broke into a wide smile. He pulled me close and half-hugged me, not without turning slightly red as he got another whiff of my scent.

“He was so weird about it that I got really worried. But everything’s cool, right?”

I rolled my eyes and gave a soft smile, which was anything but true and pushed the creeping guilt down.

“Peachy.”

“Great. Now that that’s dealt with…you can come along to our training session, right?”

Fuck. Me and my thoughtless lying. I was not up to running into _him_ and definitely didn’t want to spend a whole day with his scowl. Sure, I was getting over him, but our last meeting had admittedly made my heart flutter and managed to melt my brain enough to consider kissing him a good plan. Even if Gabe’s magic dick had something to do with that, it had still been stupid. Hopefully I would now come up with a better plan. I needed distance to make this work and this didn't include getting hot and sweaty with the object of my pining. Think brain, think!

“Sure. But my Baby’s sick… so, can’t really.”

Yessss. Stiles and his brain 1, Scott 0. I smiled apologetically.

“That works perfectly! You can take my bike and Liam, Lydia and I will ride with Derek. He’s picking us up. I feel better being near him this close to the moon, you know? Alpha stuff.”

Urgh. Stiles 1, Scott 1. I totally regretted now that I made him show me how to drive his dirt bike. It was a useful skill, but now I wish I had no idea how to handle it. But slowly the thought crept into my mind that even if I found another explanation for why that wouldn’t work, Scott would somehow _make it work_. He was worried. Of course he showed concern when Derek talked to him. The muscles in my jaw twitched in annoyance.

I nodded slowly. How bad could it get? I mean, I would surely survive one afternoon. Totally doable.

“Alright. Where?” I asked curtly.

“Train Station. Finally some pack time again”, he cheered.

Scott sighed contentedly and glanced at his phone, trying to be discreet about it but failing miserably, his lovesick gaze telling all about where he wanted to be, and I barely avoided gritting my teeth. Always the same. His feet twitched as he looked back at me. It was probably better that my love interests were all doomed to fail horribly. I guess I would hat myself a little if I lost the grasp of reality like he did everytime he fell in love.

“So how’s it-“

“Go.”

“But-”

“Go Scott. But please, please, _please_ don’t tell me the details about your make out session or I’ll start telling you about mine again.”

He shivered visibly at the thought, but refrained from commenting and just grinned guiltily instead. I snorted and made a shooing motion and finally Scott got up.

“Okay then. See you later!”

My eyes followed him as he darted through the masses of students laughing and chatting, making a beeline for another deserted corner where most certainly a japanese fox was awaiting him. And finally, I could breathe again.


	12. Gazing from afar

Usually, I loved it when the torturously boring lessons were over, but today I wouldn’t have minded them ending later. Or never. Never sounded excellent.

But instead of spending eternity in econ class, I was now walking through the halls, trying hard not to think about what awaited me outside. I heard a loud thump and saw an enthusiastic Liam bouncing toward me as I turned around.

“Stiiiiiilinskiiiiiii!!”

A small smile crept on my lips and I ruffled his hair affectionately. He leaned into the touch and I couldn’t help imagining him with a wagging tail. The boy was seriously adorable. At least when he didn’t scrunch up his face like he now did. I raised my eyebrows as he sniffed my neck.

“Wow. Now I understand why Scott looked so constipated. Smells like you had a lot of fun.”

I snickered. Constipated. That actually fit quite well.

“Yeah. Kind of. I was running late because of it.”

Absentmindedly I ran my finger over his neck, scent marking him. Scott seemed to always forget that wolves were supposed to be tactile with pack and not just with their bed mate. Hence, Liam was grateful when I did it and I liked it. Sometimes it made me feel less forlorn. Sighing softly the young boy closed his eyes and returned the favor. I cherished the warmth trickling over me.

“How are training sessions with Derek?”, he inquired, still lingering close to me, sharing his body heat, as we walked on.

Now I heaved a sigh, rubbing my free hand over my face, while the young wolf watched me curiously. Of course he had to ask. He neither knew much about Derek, nor about why this was not one of my favorite topics. I couldn’t blame him for his prying.

“Dolorous, mostly. His regime can be harsh. But since he isn’t the alpha anymore… he probably has toned it down.”

Liam hummed contentedly as we walked out the door and even if there was almost no sun, I put on my sunglasses. They are my secret weapon when it comes to staring at things –or people- when I don’t want anyone noticing. Casually, I let my gaze wander, forcing myself to turn my head further even if I had already spotted the sleek black car.

I heard Scott and Kira snickering and flirting and huffed in frustration as we walked down the few stairs. Liam lost no time and jumped at his alpha, who caught him in his arms in a laugh which I hadn’t heard in ages. Not that he stopped, I just wasn’t around to hear it.

Confidently I strode towards the small group standing next to Derek’s car. I felt a pair of eyes burning on me and chose to ignore it for the most part. A cocky sneer graced my lips as I stopped next to Scott, only peripherally examining the wolf whose eyes hunted me at night.

“Hey Stiles”, Kira said. She was smiling, but her head was tilted in that weird way that told me she was wondering about something.

My jaw ticked in annoyance. Of course. Of course she knew too. There was no other reason for her to stare at me like I was once again overtaken by a dark spirit, like you had to be careful with me. It was great how everyone always seemed to forget that she was a fox too, prone to mischief, and not really compatible with wolves. With a deep breath I shrugged my exasperation off, but not before Scott shot me another weird glance.

“Hi Kira”, I replied with an outwardly soft smile.

I turned my head slightly to finally look at Derek from behind the safety of my glasses. My eyes wandered over the lips that had kissed me just this morning. When my gaze strolled up further, I caught the dark-haired man staring at me, his brows almost touching, the mouth slightly agape, his nostrils flaring.

For a short moment, my heart sank. I hadn’t concealed my scent. They could all smell me, my emotions. The anger, frustration, sadness. Well. At least that explained Scott’s look. My throat went dry while I reminded myself to breathe, gulp down the frustration and think of something good, happy. The first thing my mind settled on was Liam. He was easily the purest I could think of. It helped calm me, but my fingers still itched with the want to hide my scent from the prying werewolf noses. How did I ever endure it before?

It would be so easy…But if I just shut them off now, it would be too obvious. I could only hope that Gabriel’s scent on me overpowered my own enough to confuse them.

I sighed through my nose as I made an effort to remain composed and immobile. No twitching, no fidgeting, nothing. Usually it aided when my spark had something to do, but I had no function for it right now. So I was back to controlling myself like I had learned from our creepy know-it-all-but-not-telling Deaton. The silence was loud in my ears, but I suppressed my need to fill it with words. The desire to keep it away wasn’t as persistent anymore as it used to be. Talking with yourself out loud makes you look crazy and somehow you get accustomed to no one answering and return to internal rambling.

My gaze wandered slowly back to Scott, who had started moving around uneasily.

“Uhm… Lydia is still missing?”, Liam remarked, glancing between his alpha, the old alpha and me in an attempt to find out what had silenced us. Kira just stared at the ground.

“No pup, I’m right here”, Lydia declared, suddenly right behind him.

He shrieked and I huffed a small laugh. It was awesome how she could sneak up on werewolves or remain scary although her body was so fragile. The girl was a force to be reckoned with and she made sure she wasn’t overlooked.

“Don’t call me that”, Liam whined, Lydia just snickered.

“Alright then. Let’s go!” Scott exclaimed, a cheery expression back on his face.

I held my hand out and he passed me his helmet willingly, delighted to have both hands free to swoop his girlfriend of her feet and whisper something in her ear as she giggled with joy. Before I had to watch any more of the tooth rottingly sweet fluff, I turned on my heel. This would be a great afternoon. I sighed internally. Why did I even agree? I didn’t usually train _with_ them, I just sat around uselessly. At least I could work on my homework…

A hand on my arm stopped me after a few steps, gripping it firm but gentle. I suppressed a shiver.

“Stiles.”

Fan-fucking-tastic. I shifted my weight and spun around a little to look at Derek. His lips moved indecisively before he spoke, his eyes flickering over my face, his eyebrows pinched in concentration. God how dark his lashes are…

“Where are you going?”

The question reminded me to not stroll where my mind was headed when looking at the insanely tight black Henley he wore. I rolled my eyes. He growled. I bared my teeth and growled back. What should I say? Hanging out with wolves had left its traces. Derek looked kind of surprised. Didn’t we already play this game of dominance? He supposedly knew I was coming along and the seats in his car were taken. I couldn’t help a snort. Metaphors everywhere.

“Over there”, I answered nonchalantly, covering the aggressive baring of my teeth with an overly fake sweet smile on my lips.

I pointed to where Scott had parked his beloved dirt bike. Chuckling internally I observed how a vein on his neck pulsed in his agitation. He was angry and I loved to at least inflict some kind of feeling on him. When I’m good, I’m good. When I’m bad, I’m better.

“Why? Your Jeep’s not here.”

Captain Obvious is being obvious. Delicately I raised an eyebrow, but averted my gaze in boredom, pointedly studying the very interesting tree next to us.

“Because I’m taking Scott’s bike”, I replied, raising the helmet up and in his view.

“You know how to ride a bike?”

Ohhh. He set himself up perfectly. Teasing him had become a lot more fun now that I didn’t have to fear him actually acting on one of his countless threats. Or rather the consequences if he was ever inclined to act on them.

“I know how to ride a lot of things, my dear wolf”, I purred provocatively, still studying the _fascinating_ leaves swaying in the slight breeze.

His grip tightened and my eyes shot back to him.                 

I looked down to my arm, where his fingers threatened to form bruises on my light skin, than back up to him, back down, up again. I jerked my chin forward, daring him to do something, anything. Unexpectedly, he took a step forward until he was close enough that I could feel his exerted warm huffs of breath on my face. I could see the differently colored speckles in his eyes as he focused his gaze on my lips. The wolf truly looked like he _did_ want to hold on with his nostrils flaring, breathing me in, and my heart sped up weirdly at the thought.

He actually _whined_ as he heard it flutter away in my chest. He whined. _Oh my god_. The sound only increased my heart rate even more. How could it not? I never heard him make that noise and it was… tantalizing. I licked my dry lips, the calculative smirk long vanished from them. Derek kept staring at me, his eyes hooded and dark with something I couldn’t clearly decipher, but made my gut clench deliciously. I knew the feeling intimately by now, but I highly doubted it was the reaction Derek had hoped from me. It was something, which almost made a dent in my determination to erase my feelings for him.

Almost.

“Derek, are you ready?”, Scott called over inquiringly, sticking his head out of the passenger door.

The wall of muscle in front of me flinched, before I escaped the spell of his eyes I had been under when he jerked his head around. He growled in frustration and glanced back at me, confusion having taken over the darkness in his features.

I raised my eyebrows judgingly and amazingly enough, he jerked his hand away as if he had suddenly remembered he had put it too close to a fire. Before he turned around, his gaze found mine for a last time.

Ignoring the throb in my chest I spun around and strode towards the bike while another bitter smile graced my lips. He had looked horrified.


	13. Reality check

With a deep inhale I took off Scott’s helmet, glancing around. Unsurprisingly, I was the first one here. But I knew it wouldn’t be long before the others arrived. I could only have been mere minutes ahead as I left and maybe gained a couple more as I snaked my way through traffic with the bike. I may have gone a little faster and a bit more reckless than was legal, but the damn wolf had riled me up all over again.

I rolled my shoulders back, trying to lose some of the tension that had manifested throughout the day at the thought of spending a whole afternoon with someone who was probably pretty pissed at me, even if our little encounter in the parking lot had left me wondering if he actually was. Undoubtedly it was tense. And weird.

Sighing I swung a leg over the bike and got off to stroll over to the door. I was tired and grumpy and absolutely not happy. As I let my gaze wander over the small room I grumbled to myself in my annoyance. Horrified. He had looked fucking horrified? Why?? And why did I even give a fuck again?

I kicked the door open angrily and sauntered inside.

My fingers wandered over old marks carved into the floor and walls by sharp claws, ignored the dark stains, remnants of black blood dripping from horrifying wounds, thought of the bonds that had formed and broken in here. Finally, I strode up to one of the walls, turned my back to it and sank to the ground. Leaning my head against it, I kept an eye on the door. This was not really a place for good memories, but honestly, those were becoming a little scarce in Beacon Hills. It made me restless. Like green eyes.

I had missed him. I really had. And I couldn’t blame him for leaving, but I could blame him for leaving us _behind_. I wanted to accuse him of abandoning me, but I was pretty sure he never truly spared me, as an individual, without a true alpha as a friend, a thought since he left. I was a means to an end, a researcher, an ally when everything threatened to break apart. Despite all that, I had missed him. No matter how strained our relationship had been, he always listened when I needed him to. But now, I was lonely. I felt like I had lost the ground underneath my feet. Maybe it was time for me to leave too, find some new ground.

But no matter how inviting the idea was, I knew I couldn’t just put this all behind me, I couldn’t leave my Dad. And I couldn’t leave the people of Beacon Hills, not with the Nemeton still broadcasting. Maybe when I was finally able to figure out functioning wards to keep the bad creatures out.

As the minutes passed, I pulled out my laptop and started it up. It wasn’t the healthiest thing to linger in the darker places of my mind, which constantly threatened to sully my thoughts. And since there had been a few weird crime cases Parrish had provided me with, it was better to figure out if there was anything supernatural involved before it escalated. Just when I had opened the files, the others noisily made their entrance.

“Stiles you’re way better than Scott on his bike”, Liam whistled, grinning widely.

I glanced up and smirked at my brother’s pouting look at his puppy’s words. Mr. Grumpy-pants was right beside him, a hand resting on Liam’s neck, just a tad too close for humans. At least _he_ still knew how to werewolf. The small yearning for the same affection that woke at the sight was instantly shoved back down by me. I went back to typing something on my laptop, when Liam and Scott started chatting away again. One voice didn’t join in.

I wasn’t surprised to find a pair of jeans-clad legs next to me.

“When did you learn how to ride it?” he asked after a short while.

Oh. It speaks.

“Two months ago”, I replied, keeping myself from looking up.

“Why?”

My whole body seemed to vibrate due to his presence in the room and I felt tingly all over just from the proximity. It was infuriating. Why couldn’t I just let go? I never had him to begin with…But sometimes it was just harder to get over a relationship that hadn’t even existed because there was always that voice in your head that whispered: ‘ _Maybe_ ’.

Unfortunately, that was all we’ve ever been. A maybe.

Clenching my jaw, I kept typing, hoping he would give up his new and strange attempt at talking. His first effort had failed enough in my opinion and with Scott in the room it was not really an option to just knock him out. Even if my fingers really itched at the thought. And from the way he had looked at me at school, I had been sure he would stay away. But still he needed to prove over and over again that I couldn’t expect anything of him.

_I had needed something to do. Something to keep me from thinking of you. Looking for you and doing dumber things like telling you how fucking much I missed you._

“It’s fun”, I said instead, not trying too hard to make it sound sincere.

The wolf hummed in a non-commitment noise, having apparently picked up on my lie, but still accepting it as my answer. A little annoyed I turned my head to see Derek still gazing at me, the curiosity back on his face. What the hell was going on?

I stared back, challenging, unblinking, pointedly keeping my eyes on his instead of flicking to his slightly ajar lips, which didn’t look inviting at all. Nope.

With a sigh through his nose the frown settled back on Derek’s face, soft lips back in a hard line and he turned away, while I snuffled and resumed my work. We could play this game all day long and if my feeling was right, we would.

“What are you doing Stiles?”, Lydia, who had managed to sneak up on me once again, probed.

Gracefully she leaned on the wall, observing with sharp eyes how the others warmed up, her perfectly manicured fingers tapping on the wall.

“Research”, I answered, tipping away even when she turned her head to stare me down.

“Stop playing dumb. It doesn’t suit you. You know that’s not what I am talking about.”

Sigh. Using my own words against me now?

Of course she knew something was going on and because she was who she was, it was also to be expected that Lydia wanted details. But I didn’t want another person thinking about why I possibly attacked Derek just when he decided to return from his hideout after I had so obviously missed him. Yes, I had been obvious. Hanging out in his loft wasn’t quite subtle, nor was cuddling with one of his Henley’s or staring at his contact info in my phone.

I paused my typing, looked up at her with confusion evident on my face, prompting her to clarify. Just like I expected she glanced at Derek and back to me, raising her eyebrows, encouraging me to answer. Unnecessarily (since I already knew what she wanted to know) I mimicked her action and looked at where Derek was stretching his neck with his back to us, shirtless. Show-off.

“Oh, that. Just a little disagreement”, I answered, already returning my eyes to the screen.

“Fun times. Looks like a pissing contest to me. It must be great to have a dick and be one”, Lydia retorted sarcastically.

Shrugging I clicked through the files, sometimes adding hints and clues to a different file where I organized them with something similar to red threads, keeping my snarky answer to myself. After a few seconds, Lydia sauntered over to the others, leaving me to finally really look into who or what was stroking terror into the hearts of the Beacon Hills residents.

For a while I concentrated on my work, pointedly ignoring how they all warmed up. Still, I didn’t miss Scott’s surprise when Liam sparred with Derek and showed that he was anything but a newbie at fighting. Which was kind of my fault since I allowed him to tag along, but only if he trained with me. Satisfaction and proudness made me sit up straighter when my brother winced at a particularly hard throw of our puppy. I almost laughed when Derek joined Liam and threw Scott into the gound a couple of times.

Soon Lydia had enough of watching the boys wrestle and convinced Scott to be the target of her newly learned magic attacks, efficiently getting him off of Liam, who shot me one or two nervous glances when he was asked where he learned his tricks, not sure if he was allowed to tell. I just typed on and he shrugged it off, mumbling something incoherent about private training.

Half an hour later I had enough evidence to decide that we definitely had a monster of the week and not just a random nut sack who enjoyed scaring the shit out of children and luring them into the woods. So far no one had been harmed, aside from a few scratches, but I was sure it would happen sooner rather than later. When I started encircling the hideouts where the thing could be, I was interrupted by a bored Lydia making her way back to me.

“You should be training, too. It’s what we’re here for.”

She flicked her curls over her shoulder before impatiently tapping her foot on the floor right next to my knee. Lazily I gazed up to her, a mischievous glint in my eyes.

“Should I?”, I retorted.

“Definitely! Just because you got stronger doesn’t mean you got better”, Scott threw in from across the room.

Liam lost his concentration at the words, snorted and was hit by one of Derek’s punches, which wasn’t as centered as his previous ones, since he too was now staring at me and waiting for a reaction.

“I did”, I smiled sickly sweet with a feeling rising in me that made me want to throw a serious punch at Scott.

Of course he underestimated me. But it was probably my fault, right? Well, I could still show him now. With a huff I shut off my laptop and hopped on my feet with grace. I looked up and saw Liam, Scott and Derek stare at me expectantly. Only Liam carefully stepped back when I rolled my shoulders and cracked my neck, trying to find a better position. The boy had seen me fight and was cautious. A smile on my lips was no longer really a good sign.

“Enough with the staring contest. Get your ass over there Stilinski”, Lydia expertly broke the tension.

“Alright. Everyone at once or one on one?”

I mustered each one of them calculatingly, while lazily stretching my arms over my head. I wasn’t in the mood for a complete warm up, but when it came to real fights the badies usually didn’t give you the time to do so either.

“One on one”, Scott finally answered and grabbed a long stick from somewhere on the floor, throwing it in my direction.

Catching it one-handedly I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged.

“You can use it as stand in for the bat?”

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily before swirling it expertly around me a couple of times, weighing it in my hands, then tossing the thing to the side. I didn’t need it. Derek sucked in some air, Liam rolled his eyes.

Scott was really clueless. I felt another gaze linger on me, trying to grasp what I was capable of. Just for show I peeled off my red pullover, revealing my toned pecs, abs and my small collection of tattoos. As much as I still liked the unhealthiest fast food I could get my hands on, the unrelenting training had truly paid off. I wasn’t as bulky as Derek, but I was lean and toned.

My dear true alpha choked on a breath, caught off guard by my development. With his mouth slightly ajar he stared at me, while I calmly observed Derek’s nostrils flare once more and I was sure I saw his eyes flashing as he stared at the black ink on my skin.

A small version of the Triskele was right over my heart, underneath it on my ribs a black wolf and finally the words "When is a door not a door?" on my arm right in the roots of a small leafless tree. They were important to me, especially since I had overcome my fear of needles to get them and after the first one I started to comprehend why he had wanted a visible mark on his skin. It was a reminder. Even if I,unlike him, could also be scarred in a different way (the marks of the Crocotta on my shoulder made that quite clear), _this_ was a pain I could chose.

With slight amusement creeping on my features I listened to him starting to growl. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that I hadn’t concealed my scent. It served him just right. I smelled nothing like pack and he apparently didn’t really like my Eau-de-sex.

“Sorry. Didn’t have time to shower”, I said flatly, not sorry in the slightest.

I clapped my hands together again and Liam flinched at the sudden movement and the sharp sound. Focusing my gaze on Scott I gave a nod and surprisingly, after a short moment of hesitation, he attacked.

His fist neared my right shoulder in a half-hearted attempt, which I dodged by simply leaning a little further to the left. I raised an eyebrow.

“Really Scott?”

My dear friend looked like a kicked puppy, slowly letting his hand fall back to his side. He shrugged awkwardly and opened his mouth to say something, but lastly stayed silent.

“I vote for three on one. If he’s being that arrogant, you better give him hell”, Lydia chirped, still from the sidelines.

“Oh thank you darling”, I chuckled.

“I can’t fight him!! I could _kill_ him with my claws you know?”, Scott whined pointing at me like I was at fault for being a squishy human.

Apparently he had completely forgotten about the Incubus-incident.

Liam badly hid a laugh behind a cough and I stared at my fingernails with boredom. It was really endearing. Ha ha. I knew him since I was a child, I watched almost every fight he has ever fought, I was familiar with every single one of his weaknesses, could name at least five mistakes he habitually did when attacking and _he_ thought sincerely he would be able to even lay a finger on me.

“Alright then. New rules. No claws, no biting, just boxing and kicking. Better?”, the fiery redhead asked.

Hesitantly Scott nodded and I could feel Derek shifting a little until his weight was balanced to attack or retreat. He was better at observing and must have found something in my teasing that made him believe enough of it to be wary. Maybe he just was afraid of the Taser. Not that I had it on me anyway. Aside from a little tired out, I was perfectly fine and my spark was humming loudly under my skin.

“Ready?”

I rolled my shoulders staring at Derek in challenge. Punching him sounded really fucking good right now.

“Ready to play some more wolf?” I purred mockingly and he tensed.

Scott made a sick sound in his throat, which I responded to with a chuckle, before the wolves took their stances, slowly circling to my sides.

“Fight.”

Liam was the first to surge forward, aiming a fist at my ribs on my left, which I stopped with an elbow in his arm, then deflected his following kick with a quick hand movement, turning just in time to force Scott back with a well-placed foot in his lower stomach. Quickly I crouched down to avoid another punch by Liam. In my upwards move I grabbed his right arm and twisted him around so that he clashed into Scott, which allowed me to punch the face of the guy who used to know me better than anyone else. Used to. I didn’t hold back on the force. I was angry at him, angry at Derek and it just felt so _good_ to finally let some of it out. And it was easy. They didn’t work together in the slightest.

When Scott stumbled back once more, I pulled on Liam’s arm, my other hand placed on his chest, until his body was in a tight curve, his back arched uncomfortably. I let go of his arm and before he had a chance to hit me, I used my elbow to knock him down. Wincing he crawled to the side. He would have trouble breathing for a couple minutes, but I knew he was alright, so I let my gaze flicker to Scott, who stared at me dumbfounded, licking the blood of his split lip, disbelief blatant in his puppy eyes. Welcome to reality.

This time his attack was clearly more earnestly, but just as unplanned. I used his speed, kicked his legs and threw him one handedly over my shoulder, hissing slightly as claws pricked my skin. With a roar I slammed him into the ground, frowning at how blood unpleasantly trickled down my arm in thin lines.

“Liam and Scott are out. Stiles are you…”, Lydia intervened, worry evident in her words.

“Fine”, I hissed.

With determination I turned to Derek, who still hadn’t moved an inch, but mustered me with a deep frown.

“You’re hurt Stiles.”

I laughed humorously, looked down at my arm and back to the wolf.

“Oh, really? What made you think that? The claw marks in my arm or the blood?”

Derek let out a strangled noise and funnily enough his face softened. My fury grew. How was he allowed to be worried? Yes, I was hurt. But a few puncture wounds were nowhere near the worst wounds that have ever been inflicted on me. The worst never were the ones you could see.

“Come on Der-bear. I’ve been hurt worse before. I can take it. Or are you scared of losing to skinny defenseless Stiles?”

I watched his eyebrows twitch before he seemed to make up his mind and rolled his head. Then, he jumped forward, coming quickly into hitting range. We exchanged a quick succession of kicks and punches, most of which I had no trouble dodging or blocking, before I heard the distinct ringtone of my phone, which told me our dear Parrish tried to reach me.

The young deputy had made an agreement with me after my father had banished him to do deskwork and he couldn’t go out himself to save the day. He knew I couldn’t and wouldn’t let my dad deal with it alone, so he made sure I had the info I needed. And because he had already sent me the case files, a call from him now could only mean that another kid was missing.

Derek used my distraction to bring my body in front of his, twisting one of my arms behind my back. Fuck. I tested his grip by slowly bending away and immediately regretted it when sharp pain shot through my arm. Derek huffed out a breath just underneath my ear, eliciting goose bumps on my neck. The ringing stopped.

“I hope it wasn’t an important call”, Derek whispered teasingly.

His muscled front was pressed tightly against my back, at least as much as my arm in between our bodies allowed him to. My heart raced again. I hated being trapped. I hated the feeling of longing and lust pooling in my stomach at his warmth. It was probably better to get our bare torsos away from each other. Luckily, I was inventive and knew more than one way to escape the situation. But of course only the weird idea settled in my mind. Bodily distractions really seemed to become a thing for me. But hey, it had worked on him before, right?

A short glance to the others revealed that Scott and Liam were occupied with grabbing a drink and Lydia was talking quietly but persistently into her phone – her mum I assumed.

I tentatively let my head fall on the bare shoulder behind me and turned it, settling my nose right on Derek’s jawline, slightly nuzzling the stubble there. Simultaneously I arched my back further, allowing my ass to press into his groin.

“Not quite as important as this”, I whispered against his neck and he groaned in surprise as I swiped my tongue up to his earlobe.

When I tasted him on my tongue I was tempted to actually try seducing him, but by now I knew what I wanted was the whole package, not just the body and all I was receiving from him were bodily reactions.

Derek groaned in surprise and made an effort to remove his groin from my behind, but not before I felt movement in his tight Jeans. I smirked tiredly. As soon as there were a couple of inches of space between us again, I used my chance.

I whirled around, twisting my arm from his grip, and getting hold of his instead, also taking his former place. With the fingernails of my other hand threatingly pressing into his throat, forcing him to bare his neck, I leant forward.

“Sorry, I lied. It _is_ important. I hope you don’t mind”, I susurrated while pulling the phone from my pocket and calling Parrish back.

“Hey. Was busy, send me the details”, I ended the call before he even had a chance to say anything.

You can’t really expect any privacy when you’re in a room with creatures who have heightened senses, including super hearing. I was not willing to share that I was hunting monsters on my own. They all hadn’t been involved for a long time and I definitely didn’t need them to start again now.

A growl vibrated through my fingers and my attention was back on Derek. He was eyeing me warily from the corner of his eyes, fangs keeping his lips from shutting completely. I sighed and bit softly into his earlobe.

“You should really know that rule number one is not to get distracted by your opponent.”

I let go of his throat and stepped away, only now realizing that the other three had stopped what they were doing and instead stared at me. With a calm façade I put my pullover back on, contentedly realizing my blood wouldn’t stand out from its color, collected my bag and laptop and walked towards the door.

 “Okay it’s been totally fun guys, but I have to go now.”

The silence that I left in the room caused my neck to tingle uncomfortably and let a cold shiver run down my back. The pack was dead and this training session had confirmed it brutally. I felt empty and lonely now that my rage was gone.

On my way out I heard faint words behind me.

_“Scott, please tell me more about how he hasn’t changed.”_


	14. Sexual Tension

“Fuck…”, I muttered, gripping my hair with both hands before frustratedly letting them fall down to my sides.

“That’s what I would like to do after seeing _that_ ”, Lydia commented, absent-mindedly letting her tongue wander over her full lips.

My heart skipped another beat. Yeah. _That_. Stiles nuzzling me, purring, licking my _neck_ for fuck’s sake. A low rumble started in the back of my throat and I had serious problems holding myself together at the mere thought and so I just shot her an angry glare hoping it would shut her up. She only shrugged it off.

“Yeaaah…while we’re at it…what was ‘that’?”

Scott whined at Liam’s question, Lydia rolled her eyes before she chuckled deviously.

“That, my dear puppy, happens when sexual tension is properly exploited.”

I growled.

But she wasn’t completely wrong. He had seen his chance and taken it. I would have taken _him_ without second thought if no one had been around. My neck still tingled, not to mention my earlobe. Or my dick. Yeah, better not talk about my dick that’s still as hard as a rock in my pants.

Sexy.

My wolf paced inside me, demanding to follow him, follow the bitter note that had clung to him when he hurried out, but my mind still had a say in this and it was kind of idiotic to run right after him. He tricked me. Twice. By expertly leading me around by my dick. I was in need of a better plan than following him like a stalker.

I stopped my pacing midway, looking at the door with a feeling of cold desolation clinging to me. Stiles had always been the one person to rile me up without me wanting to actually hurt him (badly) for his constant interjections, nagging and rants. And now he had figured out a method even more efficient which left me speechless enough for him to escape before I even put up a fight. He seemed like even more of an enigma now. It upset me to see how he hid something, not only from me, but also his friends, his goddamn brother.

When I picked them up, it had been so frustrating to realize what I should have already seen on the weekend. Kira smelled like Scott, Scott like Kira, Lydia mostly like death and slightly of Stiles and Liam a little more like Stiles, almost no hint of Scott, which was already worrying since he was his _Alpha_. And Stiles…he smelled like someone else, but not like _pack_ and it made me want to whimper.

His scent had still been laced with lust that had always clung to him like sticky honey when he was younger. But now, it was slightly different, muskier, more settled. It was proof of the satisfaction of his needs, of how he was no longer the constantly horny teen but a sexually active adult. I felt like bemoaning the loss of his innocence and the softness of him. Now, he was hard around the edges, grown up and distanced.

And Stiles was _hurt_. It was not only physically, no. His reaction to the actual wound in his arm had truly disturbed me.

_I’ve been hurt worse before. I can take it._

When his words reached me, my mind suddenly cleared.

I had no idea how I had controlled myself enough to not instantly pounce on him and hide him away from the world that had made him feel so bitter, angry and hurt. The smell of it was so well hidden, laced thinly within the alluring notes that I almost missed it. But at least I had a clue now.

Lydia seemed to be in contact with him sometimes at least, probably in school, but not outside of it. On Liam, Stiles’ scent was a little more prominent, especially on his neck. Scent marking. He had done it on purpose. When I had realized that, I had rubbed myself on his mark on Liam before I even thought about it. At that point it was already clear to me that it wasn’t to clear Stiles’ scent from Liam, but to have some part of it on me, mixed with my own smell. _Pack._ I was still struggling with accepting the truth of this. I could excuse Lydia and Liam for not being overly close to Stiles as the banshee had always meant more for Stiles than the other way around and the puppy… he was still Scott’s.

My eyes wandered to the true alpha, who was sitting on the floor, looking at the small traces of blood on his fingers. I heard myself growling, but couldn’t help it. _He_ was the missing piece. The lost brother with blood on his hands. Stiles’ blood. If it weren’t for that, there would be no trace of his friend on him at all.

Something was wrong. Utterly and unmistakably _wrong_.

“Scott.”

His famous puppy eyes, which had rescued him from more arguments with Stiles than he really deserved, met my glare and I snarled in warning until he started growling himself. I bared my teeth, desperation mixed with anger threatening to paint my sight in raging red.

“What do you _want_ Derek?”, Scott hissed, scrambling to his feet and instantly straightening his back.

Lydia and Liam warily eyed me as I unclenched my fists slowly, barely containing the shaking of my arms.

“Would you happen to know what a Crocotta is?”

My voice was low, eerily calm. It was a stark contrast to the turmoil that was building up inside me like a storm threatening to break lose any second. The moments before the answer seemed to stretch out endlessly. I was already so sure of the answer but I couldn’t help myself for wishing that I was wrong, that he could explain what it was, confirm that Stiles was not alone.

On the parking lot, I had come to a conclusion. Stiles had been so close to being family to me, but I never acknowledged it in any way before I left. Not even when I returned. I just assumed he would be there when I came back, that we would just pick up where we left with our bantering. At the time I had been so sure he didn’t need another monster in his life. He was doing fine. He had Scott, had his father, Lydia even.

But how could it be true?

Stiles had found solace in the arms of demon, apparently so eager to change what he had been, become something new, something useful in his own eyes, never realizing that he had always been. And more. He was not only useful, but _valuable_ for more than his stupid research skills. The boy was a born leader, more than I could ever be even when I had been the Alpha. There was just no one else to take the place. But he, he could make choices that needed to be made, even if it didn’t lie within the black and white lines that Scott clung so desperately to. If necessary he chose a path that was tinged by darkness, sometimes only marginally touched by light, somehow managing to balance it and not to lose himself on the darker ways he walked. Stiles always made it work. He filled up the silence and held us together.

Now, everything seemed so unbelievably and uncomfortably calm. Just like him.

And Scott?

He foolishly insisted everything was still the same.

I felt like laughing at him. My chest ached yearningly at the thought of the old Stiles, the sarcasm, the banter, the laugh. I wanted to at least bring some part of that back if I could, teach him to trust me again as he had so obviously lost it again along the way. And yet here I was, also helplessly craving him. It felt so wrong and right. He was grown, incredibly sexy, and mature. I hungered for his touch, was delighted with every little contact he granted me. Even when it was so utterly fucked up. He played me like he knew me better than I did.

He probably did.

The mark of the Incubus on him had opened my eyes. Or my nose. Either way, his scent had been all over Stiles and it made me so restless with the need to claim him for myself, rip him from the claws of that thing that had him so tightly wrapped around his finger. I roared internally. Wrapped around his _finger._ Only then I had realized I did not just want him in my pack or my bed, but that I _wanted_ him. I wasn’t even sure if I could still call my obsession a crush, as it had simply taken some serious time for me to realize that my fondness of him even before I left had been something… more. I wanted to bite his tender neck, rub my scent over him, protect him from the darkness, show him the little light I still had left to give, save him from his almost suicidal bravery. Family didn’t come close to it, but close enough at that time.

And maybe, just maybe I could get him to smile again like he meant it.

This had been a train wreck of a day. With the horrification of my discovery still rattling in my bones I had tried to calm myself. Yes, I had been horrified. Me falling in love didn’t usually end well. And having feelings for a person who I was afraid of hurting any more was truly terrifying.

My wolf had led me straight to his side, but again he had blocked me off like we had never saved each other’s life. It was outright infuriating. I wanted to please him so badly, win him over and yet the only move I made was to take my fucking shirt off. As soon as I had done it, I had wanted really badly to bang my head against the wall, lastly deciding to just concentrate on training and leave Stiles alone. For now.

The moment Lydia encouraged him to train with us, I was already wary. I had had no idea how to deal with being near him before, but fighting him seemed like a completely new method of torture.

The moment he undressed, the scent of him with someone else was so overwhelming that I stopped breathing altogether for several moments until my claws finally receded. I considered never breathing again if it meant I wouldn’t have to smell that mix ever again. My teeth had still been too sharp in my mouth when my eyes had started working, registering the impossible: tattoos. And not just any tattoos. A wolf. The fucking riddle. The _Triskele_.

Stiles had been terrified of needles, had trouble seeing blood and there he stood with painful marks engraved in his skin like a fearless warrior.

Scott had smelt as surprised as I felt, which only made me want to hit him. But Stiles expertly took that task for himself. He was so quick with his hands and feet that it was a real challenge to follow his attacks and blocks. Stiles had fought against two wolfs and won easily, while I could just stand and stare in awe.

_I’ve been hurt worse before. I can take it._

The words played in my head over and over again.

“A cro- what?!”

“A Crocotta. Do. You. Know.”

_I can take it._

The seconds ticked by and every sound drowned out, the blood rushing angrily in my ears, silencing the answer. I saw Scott’s lips move, but no word reached me. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as the boy shook his head.

I felt like punching through a wall, but only roared instead.

He had fought it alone. A monster that looked like his mother, talked like her and tried to lure him into a trap. How could Deaton know and not _Scott_? How could _I_ not know? This here was my land, my home and just because I was too caught up in finally being ahead of Peter I had lost sight of the more important things. Like keeping teeth off of Stiles.

“Have there been any monsters since I have come back?”

By now my voice was hoarse, still silent but nowhere near as calm, every word pressed from in between my clenched teeth.

“What’s going on Derek??”, Lydia pleaded, her features for once not under complete control.

I grabbed Scott by his neck and pulled him up, bringing our faces together.

“ANSWER ME”, I roared.

He flashed his eyes and roared in answer, shoving me away from him.

“No you bastard. NONE. Why are you being like this?!”

Liam winced slightly and my eyes shot to him. Scott’s followed.

Images of his fighting style flashed before my eyes. Not as quick, not so clean, but there had been parallels.

“Liam?”, Scott asked, voice filled with unspoken words of worry and disbelief.

The puppy’s gaze dropped just like his shoulders, as if he tried to vanish into thin air.

“Well…actually…”

Slowly I rubbed a hand over my face. We were all idiots.

“Actually what?”

“There have been?” , Liam whispered, guiltily presenting his neck to his alpha.

Lydia’s eyes slowly widened as realization hit her and she became still, only her eyes moving to mine for confirmation while Scott still stared at Liam flabbergasted.

“How many?”

The boy shrugged, biting his lip before answering.

“I’m not sure. He didn’t always let me come along. I guess he didn’t even tell me of half of them?”

This time I punched a wall.

“He? Who has dealt with them?”, Scott asked, confusion evident in his face.

That’s when I punched Scott.

“Stiles you idiot! _Stiles”_ , Lydia whispered, too silent for any human too hear, but still ringing loudly in all our ears.


	15. Definitely not a Pleasure

No matter how much I craved being with pack right now, I couldn’t have stayed. Beating up an alpha wasn’t frankly the best idea, but it was nearly the most persistent one running through my head in that moment. He was lucky I had only punched him once.

So I had left, Scott still lying on the ground, not grasping how this all escalated. Now it was pretty easy to figure out. Stiles was alone. We had abandoned him. All of us. Some more than others, but lastly no one could be excluded. The only human in the pack had taken it upon himself to protect the town when we wouldn’t. Even if he now was no longer all human. A mage? Emissary? Part Incubus?

I cringed, clenching the leather of the steering wheel tightly.

He was human enough. And he was the one dealing with all those monsters that strolled into Beacon Hills. The scars and blemishes on his skin had told the story but none of us listened. How could I be so fucking dumb? Of course there had been monsters and of course he wouldn’t shy away. It was still hard to grasp. _Someone_ should have noticed. How many had there been? Which creatures? Did they hurt him?

_Yes, they did._

My mind wandered back to the animal clinic, the smell of blood and hurt sullying the air when I had entered the room. By the way it was so casually intertwined with the smell of the rest of the clinic I should have known how it couldn’t have been a singular case.

Again my wolf whined, tightening my chest with every breath.

The urge to find Stiles was everywhere, poking uncomfortably at my insides, clawing with long fingers into my legs and making me even more restless. But where should I start? His scent was lost before it even reached the parking lot, Scott’s bike was still there and no sight of him. If he had walked, he couldn’t have gotten far, but every street I had checked had been without any trace.

I pulled out of the traffic and rummaged for my phone. My fingers itched to dial the Sheriff’s number, but I knew Stiles better than that. He wouldn’t have confided about _this_ in his father. Yes, he had told him everything about the supernatural and he also had sworn not to lie again, but the circumstances had changed. _Because_ he knew, John would have found something to prevent his son from playing monster-hunter all by himself. So no real lead there, but that Stiles listened in to the police radio was common knowledge, therefore he must have gotten info from somewhere in the station.

It took me a few almost silent moments, as far as anything can ever be silent to me, cars rushing by hurriedly, to realize that there was only one deputy who was involved enough with the things that go bump in the night to observe when something was too strange to stem from monsters that were entirely human.

Quickly I pulled up his contact info and pressed call.

Impatiently I stared at the sky as it kept ringing, surprised to see it so dark already. As dark as it could get at least with the white glowing of the moon starting to bath the city in its light. The full moon was nearing faster than I liked it to and it was straining my thin patience. It had been fine when I was with the others, the contact with wolves helped, but as they couldn’t really be counted as stable pack there was no control to feed of for me, no sense of security and comfort, especially as a vital part was missing and apparently had been for months.

“Derek?”

I grunted in response, my eyes still fixed to the greyish clouds above, my tongue wandering over the sharp edges of my canines. Parrish tapped his fingers impatiently on a wooden surface on the other end of the line. His exasperated sigh brought me back.

“You know where he is.”

“I admire your ability to transform questions to statements, but I need you to clarify here. What do I know of whom?”

I snarled.

“Stiles. You know where Stiles is.”

He stayed silent a little too long and even without clearly hearing his heartbeat, it was blatantly obvious that he was lying to me.

“No.”

I growled in frustration. The longer I needed to find him, the bigger the possibility became that he was hurt by whatever he chased tonight. He had to be on the heels of _something_ , judging from his hurried exit.

“Don’t make me repeat myself Parrish.”

Again, silence.

“PARRISH”, I roared.

“…not exactly.”

I only felt small relief. It wasn’t quite good that he didn’t know where the boy was, but his words were proof that he had least had an idea where to look for the elusive spark. I could work with that.

“Tell. Me. Now.”

I could hear a door closing on the other end of the line, followed by a loud and tired sigh. Finally, a voice again.

“I’ll send you an address but I can’t guarantee he’ll be there. And _you_ certainly didn’t get that info from me.”

Before I could confirm, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to because the thought of telling the Sheriff what his cute little deputy had been up to was quite alluring at the moment, he had ended the call and I was yet again left alone with the threatening silence. Why did everyone feel the need to hang up before letting the other speak? I would have loved some info on _why the fuck_ he let Stiles do this shit. That made two in the know and six out. Great.

[7:34 pm – _from_ Parrish]: _Old Insington Road 53. 2 Children missing._

I couldn’t help furrowing my brows. I knew the place. It was a mansion as big as Eichen House and was formerly an institution to send your misbehaving little kids to. About ten years ago it had been transformed into a daycare center.

While mentally going through the list of creatures I knew of which took children, I took off to the address Parrish had sent, ignoring every speed limitation and flooring the gas with more strength than needed. Luckily enough there wasn’t too much traffic so I didn’t lose any more time. I could feel my hands closing tighter around the wheel causing the leather to squeak in my grip the closer I got to my destination. Desperation hugged me chokingly as I reminded myself that there was no guarantee that Stiles would be there. He probably had been there an hour ago and by now was miles away.

As soon as I saw the house I slowed down and abandoned the car on the side of the road. My hands curled into fists, hiding the claws I currently had no control over, as I approached the center carefully. Sure enough there were some cops questioning a couple of residents. There must have been more than two kids missing if the cops were out questioning people despite it being mere hours since the children have been gone.

I took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. The air was permeated with something bitter and acidic, combined with the smell of burnt sugar. That definitely wasn’t a human smell. Shit. Another monster and we had no clue about it. A heavy feeling pooled uncomfortably in my stomach and I balled my hands even tighter.

I needed to find Stiles.

After several breaths through my mouth I carefully inhaled once more. There had to be something, some hint of Stiles. I caught just the tiniest hint of him, but before I could locate it, the smell of the inhuman thing overpowered again and burned in my sensitive nose. I wheezed, trying to get rid of the unpleasant smell. My wolf urged me to change form and run, but if I couldn’t take the smell in this form, it would be even worse as a full wolf. This would have to do.

I faced the tree line. My options were as always truly great. Following the unmissable trail the _thing_ had left behind in the hope of finding Stiles while risking to run into a trap, or look for him around the center and risk his health.

Who was I even kidding? It wasn’t an option.

Careful not to alarm any of the neighbors I did what I did best and crept towards the woods in the shadows silently. My skin felt too tight on my bones and I couldn’t help the sensation of being watched. It was just one of those great abilities you developed when you’ve been hunted all your life. A threatening growl rose from my throat as I tried to locate whoever was making me bolt into the shadows and safety of the woods to escape potential weapons.

“Hmm…you smell angry Mr. Hale.”

My head shot to where the dark voice had come from. A small chuckle reached my ears from up in the branches of a tall tree, surrounded by the darkness of the dense leaves of the crown. I couldn’t see shit. Great.

“Who are you?”, I barked out, still trying to catch at least a glimpse of a silhouette to know what I was dealing with.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m not the one who took those children. It’s no fun to spoil innocence so early. It’s almost undeserved, nothing they have decided on.”

I glanced back towards the street and was glad to see no one would be able to spot me from there. Angrily I bared my teeth, fangs already dropped. All I wanted to do is follow that stupid stench and find Stiles before he got himself seriously hurt.

“I don’t have time for this shit! If you want to fight, get out of that fucking tree and get it over with!”

“Oh I’m sorry, but I don’t think Stiles would appreciate that. And personally, I’m not too much into playing with dogs either. Although I definitely like doggy-style.”

A snarl passed my lips. It’s always fun to deal with psychopathic supernaturals who think they are hilarious.

“And let me tell you, so does Stiles”, the man taunted.

I wanted to roar and claw at something, but with those words, I lastly knew who I was talking to. So I just clenched my teeth together for a few long moments, sincerely trying not to take the bait he had laid out.

My mind was still creating images (of a honey-eyed young man staring lustfully at a creature without a face, arching his back of the mattress in bliss…) when I finally answered.

“You’re the Incubus.”

“Good boy!” The sarcasm in his voice was thick, laced with boredom, much like I had heard it in Stiles words lately.

At least I now knew where that came from. But dog jokes, really? The wish to rip someone’s throat out for that was also not new, but with him I actually felt the urge to go through with that plan.

“Why are you here? What do you want?” I snarled.

Finally, _finally_ , I saw movement in the tree: just a leg dangling lazily back and forth as he chuckled again, but it was enough to make me tense my muscles in preparation for a fight.

“The same as you I guess. I’m making sure Stiles doesn’t get himself killed. He didn’t seem to be in the best mood and even if he’s _enticing_ when he’s so impulsive, it doesn’t have the best effect on his spark. And… I _really_ wanted to meet you in person.”

Guilt flooded me at the words and the Incubus hummed approvingly as if he was well aware of what he had induced. He probably was. Still, it had been my fault for not realizing earlier that more was off than just his attitude. But my stupid struggle with my feelings had prevented me from opening my eyes early enough to see how not only the pack had fallen apart but how Stiles had drifted into a seemingly unattainable distance.

“Why would you care?”

“He is such a delightful little thing. It has been decades since I last found someone _that_ interesting and nurturing. It’s a good thing that I found him when I did.”

“He would have been better off without you”, I hissed.

The creature let out another laugh, this one so void of humor that it let a cold shiver run down my back. He seemed so sure that I was wrong, but weren’t all the villains sure of what they did?

“You sincerely think that, don’t you? I knew you had to be a fool to leave such a powerful spark behind. But be assured, he’s in better care with me now”, Gabriel purred.

A deep rumbling growl rose from my throat. Care? He did nothing but sit in a tree, leaving Stiles do deal with whatever had kidnapped the children.

“You’re doing a great job of keeping an eye on him, congratulations!”

“Well, I know _what_ he is fighting and _where_. How about you, wolf?”, the shadow hissed.

My mouth hung open for several seconds before I closed it with a clack of my teeth. The only info I had was that the monster took children, smelled horribly and was somewhere in these woods.

“That’s what I thought. Always so well informed about your lovely pack. It’s so nice of you to play into my hands. Honestly, your sudden return to the stage is a bit annoying, but soon he’ll still be ready to leave all of you behind for good."

My heart stuttered in my chest. No, that was a lie. Stiles wouldn’t leave. After all, this was his _home_. Scott was here, his dad, his mother’s grave and…

I had to admit, there was not quite enough binding him to this city. His mother was dead, Scott was far away in his love for Kira, his Dad buried himself in work, not to mention all the terrible things he had experienced here. The Nogitsune was something _I_ was still trying to forget and I never dared to talk to him about it. I was so broken myself, holding on to the guilt of my family’s death. So how would I have ever been able to help him?

And so I had stayed in the distance, hoping that Scott would be there for him. What a fool I was. Stiles, although he wasn’t the one doing it, had killed the true alpha’s first love, wearing the face of his best friend. Now, it seemed so blatantly obvious that they never talked about what happened, that Allison’s death was the point when they started growing apart.

Before I could slip deeper into thoughts of guilt, I heard relieved cries and shouts. Ripped from my mind I tilted my head and strained my hearing. It sounded like a happy reunion. I frowned. Could it be that…

“Mhhh. Seems like Stiles is done. The lost children have come home. It was a pleasure, Wolf.”

When I turned my head, I heard the flap of leathery wings, much like that of a bat, and again only caught a glimpse of a silhouette in the night sky. The bitter taste of guilt on my tongue stayed, becoming worse at the knowledge that Stiles had fought another creature by himself. I needed to find him. Even if the children were free, the spark was not with them. But my eyes stuck to the night sky.

Definitely not a pleasure.

Then, a pained scream tore through the silence and my boiling blood froze.


	16. Burn my lungs

I couldn’t remember how I had gotten to where I was, but there were more important matters, for example the smell of blood in the air. My own blood was rushing in my ears, almost drowned out by the continuous _Stiles hurt Stiles hurt Stiles hurt_ running through my head.

Another angry shout directed me to where Stiles was.

Without hesitation I jumped into the clearing, only to find myself in the middle of a bloody fight, my back to the creature. With a big leap I saved myself from a large prank attacking me from behind.

Stiles stared at me for a moment, mouth already opened, but snapped it shut again before any words left his tongue. I gave him a quick once over and couldn’t help the whiny sound when I saw blood seeping through his shirt.

A roar made my head shoot around.

I had almost forgotten the beast that was on the clearing with us. It was an ugly creature, covered in dirty grey fur, horns curling from its head into the air and his fingers ended in sharp claws already dripping with blood. The thing was breathing heavily, his red eyes jumping between me and Stiles as if it tried to decide who was worthier of his next attack. Apparently it was also wounded, shifting its weight from one hurt leg to the other, while his tail whipped around.

“What the fuck is that?!”, I hissed while moving closer to Stiles.

“Mr. Hale, meet the lovely child-taking Krampus”, the hurt teenager pressed out, just before he launched himself at the creature.

Of course he had to be sarcastic, even now.

It had just been hours since I’ve witnessed him fighting two wolves at once, but seeing his attacks now, when they were meant to truly hurt someone, I was even more impressed and concerned. Stiles had held himself back once more for our good and still whooped our ass. He definitely wasn’t the flailing teen I had left behind months ago. Maybe he had never been what I thought. For such a young guy he knew too well how to hide the truth, tell pretty lies and keep secrets.

After a few frozen seconds I joined the fight. With a fast jump I slashed the thighs of the creature while Stiles dodged the claws, which trying to carve more gashes in his gut. The Krampus roared after another unsuccessful attempt, struggling to turn the elusive spark with his wounds worsening with every move.

“BACK DEREK!”

Surprised at the sudden exclaim I turned my head in Stiles direction instead of following his demand. It was a dumb dumb decision.

Teeth buried themselves in the flesh of my shoulder and I couldn’t help the loud roar that rose from my throat at the blinding pain. As the pressure finally lessened, my sight came back to me and I truly didn’t like what I saw: another two of the annoying creatures had joined the fight.

Angrily I repaid the favor and used my fangs to gain the upper hand again, trying to lure the two new ones away from Stiles. With remains of fur and the taste of dirty blood in my mouth I glanced over to him. The beautiful boy was whirling around gracefully, kicking and shoving daggers (where the hell did he get those from?) through the thick skin, coloring the fur in deep red. I could hear his ragged breathing and clearly he was hurting, but it didn’t stop him from slashing the creature’s throat.

I refocused on the two horned creatures in front of me again, when I smelt Stiles blood again, but this time fresher. I was about to turn my head when I heard him whispering a string of words that sounded too foreign in my ears to guess their meaning.

“Audi vocem sanguinis meam et incendit bestiam!”

The three beasts stopped their motions midway, slowly turned their heads in unison towards Stiles, even the one I had thought dead, and shrieked in a high pitch that hurt so badly in my ears that I instantly tried to cover them up while sinking to my knees in bitter agony.

Whatever Stiles had said, it had infuriated the Krampus things enough to focus all of their attention on him. I didn’t like it. At all. I couldn’t fail him again.

Ignoring the pain still biting at me, I removed my hands and stumbled to my feet, just in time to hear one of the creatures laugh at Stiles, who stood frozen in place, his eyes closed, eyebrows in a frown, mouth a straight hard line.

“You think that you _pathetic_ human are able to chase us away with some latin? We are hundreds of years old you worm”, the tallest of them snarled. The words had rolled heavy from the tongue of the creature, the s-sounds came out harsh through the sharp teeth, the intonation was off.

My body was tense, ready to jump in front of Stiles as the leader raised his clawed hand in threat, but again I froze at a chuckle that ended in an outright humorless laugh. This time it was Stiles’.

“And _you_ think I would need words to defeat you? I just needed your attention so I could finish you off together. I am a trickster, I’ve run with wolves, I share my bed with a demon, I’ve been a _thousand_ years old… and lastly: I’m not human.”

Stiles opened his eyes and the air escaped my lungs. They were pitch black.

Screeching once more the creatures started backing away in fear and if I had been a bigger coward, so would have I. Instead I stared at the spark with fascination, who wore the sneer I by now knew meant trouble on his pretty lips, angry lines in the color of lava running up his arms and illuminating his face in an eerie glow. He was strong, beautiful and scary. It made me forget how to breathe.

Unhurriedly the mole-dotted boy rose his arms and with a deliberate turn of his fingers, the creatures stood in flames.


	17. Lose Tongues

“Derek.”

I flinched as a hand softly grabbed my shoulder and ripped me out of my trance, quietly turning me to stop me from staring mindlessly into the flames any longer. I couldn’t remember how long I had kneeled there paralyzed, gazing into the fire, smelling burnt flesh and hearing screams that weren’t there.

“I’m sorry, Derek. I wouldn’t have used fire if there had been another way. They wouldn’t have stayed dead.”

Blinking I turned, my muscles tense as I stared up into gentle honey colored eyes. Stiles looked genuinely worried and nothing of his strange new behavior was there to hide it. Relief mixed with the angst still freezing me into place. I was safe, he was safe. That’s what mattered.

It hadn’t been this bad in quite a while and I had no idea why this ‘controlled’ fire had caused it. My mind was too fogged to find an answer at the moment. I could only guess that Stiles was the reason, my urge to protect him from harm while my mind whispered _mate_ over and over again, which I decidedly ignored. I just felt like an open wound all over and craved security and my wolf had a certain person in mind, which would surely not be too delighted to have an armful of shivering werewolf in his arms.

I more saw then felt my shaking fingers reach for Stiles, curling into the ripped fabric of his pullover, in the hope of finding solace.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered once more as I pulled him closer.

He didn’t stop me and my wolf howled in triumph, while my mind went a mile a minute. Stiles was comforting me. He was right here, I could _touch_ him, _smell_ him. I hovered there for a minute, waiting for him to shove me away, to do anything instead of mustering me with a calm expression, his eyes wandering slowly over my features. He didn’t.

Lastly, I gave in to my urges, despite the little voice in my head telling me not to trust Stiles so easily after the last two encounters, and closed the gap, burying my nose in his neck. I inhaled unevenly, tasted the sweet aroma on my tongue, relished the skin-on-skin contact. It felt so much like coming home. How did I not realize this before? I was truly a fool.

Stiles softly stroked up and down my back with one hand, while the other tenderly cupped the back of my head.

_Pack. Home. Stiles._

Apparently, these all meant the same and I desperately wanted to bring them back together.

“You’re hurt”, I murmured, nosing the soft skin under his ear, smelling the blood from his wounds.

He only huffed in amusement, obviously not up for another discussion on the topic.

“So are you. Come on, I’ll bring you to your car.”

I growled when he started moving and snaked my arms tighter around his middle. The boy struggled a little more, his muscles twitching against mine deliciously.

“Stop. We need to talk Stiles.”

He sighed heavily and slowly pushed me back. I regretted even opening my mouth as I saw a sad smile on his lips and I already missed the pressure of his body along mine.

“I think we’re past talking Derek.”

“We don’t have to be.”

He laughed his unhappy laugh and escaped my touch, again building the wall between us.

“This here was only a courtesy, in memory of whatever we once had. You left. You left everyone and everything behind. It was bad, for all of us. I was done suffering, hoping you would come back and fix everything, that you’d teach Scott to become the Alpha he is supposed to be, that you’d be the family Malia needed, that you’d be the friend _I_ needed. I learnt the hard way that I can’t trust you to do that. You have no right to just barge in here, pretending like you were never gone. But let me tell you: you were.”

The tenseness in my muscles was back with full force, anger swelling under my skin with vigor. Somewhere in my mind I knew I should have promised him that I would make it right again, that I would make it all up, prove him that I’m worthy of his trust and faith. Instead, I made another stupid mistake in my uprising rage about blaming me.

I had been here for so long, but they never listened to me. When I told them to stay out of something, they jumped right in. When I tried teaching Scott, he betrayed me. I had given my _life_ in the fight to save him and now that I had come back to Beacon Hills, the root of all evil, pain and anger, they had once more forgotten the lectures I had given and the only person I trusted chose to mock and misuse my trust.

Stiles had just turned to someone else when I was gone, and somehow my mind shut out that it had been his last resort.

“Courtesy for what we had? Well, what did we have? You challenged me whenever you could, you _never_ listened! I tried to fix this pack so many times, even tried so when I chased after that damn desert wolf. And you just let a demon _fuck_ _you_ and think you’re allowed to judge me now? Did _that_ fix anything?”

Stiles’ mouth fell open at my venomous words and he stared at me in utter disbelief. The anger in my chest went cold, just like his eyes as his mouth once more became a hard line, hiding the softness that usually rested in them. I immediately regretted my words. I was supposed to fix this, not make it worse, even if I was angry about the whole incubus and fighting-monsters-by-himself-thing, I definitely had no right to judge after I had left him alone. I should know not to judge someone in pain.

“Stiles.. I’m –“, I started my desperate try of an apology, already sure he wouldn’t want to hear it.

“Fuck you, Derek”, he muttered quietly and turned away from me before he vanished into thin air.

I was less and less sure I actually deserved his forgiveness.


	18. Unspoken Promises

The sound of gentle steps woke me.

After the disastrous talk in the woods I had stayed there for a while at the clearing to make sure the fire didn’t inflame the dry trees. I had drowned myself in thoughts of self-hatred while watching the flames annihilating every last trace of the creatures we had fought, but they never licked far away from the foul smelling flesh, didn’t even burn the ground on which the giant corpses laid. And after they were gone, just like their master, the flames vanished.

Almost on autopilot I had returned to the loft, frustration curling heavily in my guts. This was exactly why wolves shouldn’t have emotional discussions so close to the full moon. It becomes heavy fast, hits all the wrong spots, only to make you regret it moments later. I was a born wolf, it shouldn’t even affect me that damn much anymore, but months of solitude seemingly had their price.

I had curled myself into my bed after ridding myself of the clothes that smelled so much like smoke, fire and death. But I didn’t dare to shower yet, worrying to lose the last bit of solace that clung to me in the form of Stiles calming smell.

Snarling I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and jumped into them before approaching the door. I couldn’t smell anything from the person on the other side and only the soft steps indicated that someone was really there.

Another monster?

I dropped my fangs and felt my claws extend, when I heard a knock on the door.

“Derek?”

I ripped the door open, trying to determine that I wasn’t hallucinating. Immediately I was enveloped in a tight embrace. Finally, a scent as well.

“Derek…Derek…I’m so sorry…”

His slender but strong arms clutched me to his chest, his face this time buried in my neck. I could feel a wetness dripping down to my collar bone and my heart ached. He was crying.

„Stiles, I’m the one who should apologize-“

“No! No..you were right. I shouldn’t have let Gabe fuck me. I should have trusted you, it’s just..”

I loosened my own tight grip as he leaned back enough to look into my eyes, his lashes fluttering to chase the tears from the corners of his. He gazed at me, stretching the pause while his hands softly cupped my face, stroking over my cheekbone.

“What?”, I asked quietly.

The boy licked his lips hesitantly, lowering his lids for a short moment shyly before returning his gaze to me. I frowned.

Stiles and shy?

I shrugged it off as he leant in closer and I could count every single one of his lashes.

“I _missed_ you”, he whispered silently, mere inches from my lips.

My heart threatened to beat out of my chest. He had missed me. Me. Not just who I was for the pack, but me. This whole thing I was feeling wasn’t as one-sided as I thought it was. Stiles was willing to forgive me.

His mouth pressed a kiss on my lips, an unspoken promise, gentle and firm. Closing my eyes, I pulled him closer and deepened the kiss, my wolf roaring in success, when Stiles moaned softly.

Breathless I opened my eyes to find his open. The eyes into which I had looked a million times, had a sickly slightly green shade.

The usually honey-eyed boy closed his eyes and kissed me again, smelling like a summer breeze, mowed grass, wild strawberries, but not home.


	19. The fast Descent

When I finally reached home, I was endlessly exhausted. The front-seat of my dear Roscoe had blood sprinkled on it and I already was more than sure it would suck to clean it, I had two wounds on my chest to which my shirt was already stuck due to the drying blood and of course there was an asshole werewolf that had thought it was a great idea to call me a slut. All in all: a totally wonderful fucking evening.

Derek had always been the one to enrage me most, just like I had been for him. Not even creeper Peter came close to it. I always thought it was because he cared, since it was my reason as well (aside from the whole pining), but his departure definitely destroyed that opinion. And apparently I had done well not to believe his friendly act. He was still angry, sad and bitter and in consequence: an asshole to me. I had been glad at some point that he wasn’t in this hellhole, that he had the chance to heal, but apparently that didn’t happen. He had been gone and I had suffered through the non-communication for nothing.

I had accepted all the pain Derek kept locked up inside of himself long ago and would have never pressed the topic (too much), never used it in an argument, because I knew just too clearly what the loss of one loved family member could do to you, and although it didn’t come close to the excruciating pain he had endured when his whole family burned alive, I comprehended. I wasn’t cruel. At least I didn't use to be. Now there was the start of an unsettling urge to shove Scott's face in all the shit I had had to handle, remind him of who he used to be and there was an even bigger itch confronting Derek with everything he never tried to see, starting off with my gigantic crush on him which had evolved into a fully blown heartache on my side. I thought him dead _twice._ That's something I wish for no one.

But his pain didn’t excuse his behavior tonight. It was just outright assholery. Like vanishing for months without a word after DYING. Previously everyone had made fun of me for being the virgin and now after I had slept with two people, _I_ was the asshole. Yeah, sure. Please tell me more about your completely logical moral compass.

My skin felt too tight as anger and magic swirled underneath it, but the worst was: I couldn’t deny I still loved him. It was stupid to think I could. Hell, I was fucking his double every other night, I kissed the _real_ him, I fought with him and we had been so close to –

Yeah. To what? Making up? Reconnecting?

I didn’t know how to label whatever happened there. It didn’t really matter since the end had been so disastrous.

With less care than usual I parked Roscoe and crawled out of the seat, throwing the bloodied seat a rueful look before I pulled one of my old plaid shirts from the backseat and threw it over it. I was pretty sure the Sheriff wouldn’t appreciate finding blood in his son’s car, when he came home. Although, he probably wouldn’t be home for a while. Double-shift as usual. At least the kids were back home.

The adrenaline rush was slowly dissipating and I felt the well-known heavy blanket of tiredness settle over my shoulders. On autopilot I crawled up the stairs, ridded myself of the dirty clothes and trotted to the shower.

I was so tired of this place. So tired of being lost and forgotten. And yet I found no sleep.

Finally, I went back to my room, not bothering to properly towel myself dry and leaving a trail of wet splotches on the floor. My hand was already on the handle to my door when I paused and sighed heavily.

I just _knew_ someone was in there, it was tickling on my senses, but all I wanted right now was to flop into my bed, pull the covers over my head and ignore all the bullshit for a while. And whoever was in there, was definitely part of the bullshit and wouldn't let me. I should start putting up office hours. And charge them for consulting and/or research.

With anger coiling in my gut hot and heavy, I returned to the bath and pulled out almost clean sweatpants from the hamper. I was definitely not going in there with only a towel around my hips. Even if I wasn’t wearing any underwear, I felt much more dressed.

Still not willing to indulge the uninvited visitor, I tended to my wounds as far as I could before briefly going downstairs to retrieve a water bottle and a poptart. When I climbed the stairs again I hoped that whoever had been there decided to do whatever he wanted to another day.

Nope. Of course not. Still tingling.

With a calm façade I finally opened the door and went straight to my desk without looking around to start up my Laptop. I needed to update the Beastiary. Krampus definitely do not show up alone and are not affected by ancient Latin. I also needed to redo my research on Human-Incubi symbiosis and their effects. I plopped down onto my chair and waited for a few moments. But no sound was made.

I sighed. Heavily.

“I’m really not up for your games tonight. I’m tired, pissed and around 60 percent sure I never want to leave this room ever again.”

No movement. I glanced to the side and caught sight of a Greek statue. Why was he even here? He had had his fair share of my energy. He would be fine for a while. I so didn’t want to deal with him right now. Or anyone really.

“Get the fuck out Gabe. _Now_.”

Another moment passed without noise or movement and so I swiveled around in my chair, the burning under my skin building up to an immense pressure that desperately wanted to come out. I growled loudly as I faced the demon, ready to shout at him to make him leave, but the insult on my tongue didn't leave my lips before astonishment made me close them.

The face of the man I had fallen for so helplessly displayed nothing but utter surprise for a second before an unsettling annoyance took over. I had turned him down before, what was his problem? I frowned and crossed my arms in front of my chest, otherwise keeping an unemotional facade.

“Stiles.” The voice, which made my name sound like a million words compressed into one, was a deep growl, an actual wolfish one. The unspoken words were an accusation, a threat, a warning.

Silence spread for all but three seconds before my brain processed.

Fuck fuck fuck, shit. I could feel my face falling apart. No no no. Brain be helpful. Keep the damage at bay. Say…something, anything!!

I made a show of blinking several times, staring more intently in the dark corner of my room. Oscar marterial right there.

“Oh sorry, Derek. Maybe I’m more tired than I thought I am. You know, getting beat up and clawed open by mystical beings. And since you are the last person I expected to come here after your lovely comment on my love life, I must have mistaken you for someone who you obviously not are.”

The nonchalance felt poisonous in my mouth as they rolled from my lips. I was furious and he knew it, so what kind of delusion had made him come here? How did he get in my room anyway? My eyes wandered to the window and I realized I had forgotten to set the mountain ash barrier back up. Idiotic me.

When the silence stayed, my eyes flicked back to Derek. His nostrils flared, trying to take in my scent, but ha, guess what? Not with me. Within a second it was veiled. He didn’t need to know how hurt I was. My feelings were the reason everything was fucked up in the first place. And if he wasn’t going to share any of his, I wouldn’t either.

“Well like I already said, I need sleep and frankly I don’t want you here. And you shouldn't want to be here either if you like your limbs where they are at the moment.”

I got to my feet and kept my arms crossed in front of my chest just like I had seen him do it so many times before. It was quite empowering and gave some sense of security back. I could handle this situation. He just had to leave and I would be fine.

It was a sign of how much I had changed when I didn’t scatter back as another deep growl rolled over me. Unfortunately, the alpha pressing me up against my door didn’t really give me a choice in it. Now isn’t that great? I really love having no choices. And a face full of werewolf.

“Don’t fuck with me Stiles.”

I snorted and turned my eyes to the ceiling. Yeah, I got that message loud and clear already, thank you very fucking much. I scowled at him. If Master Hale wished for it, I was certainly fine with rubbing it in his face.

“I am most certainly not.”

A set of impressive teeth showed as he snarled at me. I sighed. That had seriously stopped working ages ago.

“Why did you call me Gabe?”

He pressed the words out between too long teeth and ignored my second eye roll.

“Obviously mistook you for him as he is recently the only guy who sneaks into my room. Through my window.”

I had trouble breathing as he pressed into me harder, which may either be a result of his unrelenting arm against my chest or his firm body touching with mine more than is good for me. Aside from the whole initimidation thing he hoped for by doing this, he probably also wanted to feel my pulse in search for lies.

“You’re lying.”

Tadaaa.

And by the way: wrong, wrong and, oh, wrong. I wasn’t lying. Gabriel _was_ the only one using the window as I usually blocked werewolves out with the mountain ash barrier. Apparently it didn’t work on demons properly. I had yet to try salt.

“Am not and you couldn’t tell even if I was.”

“I can. You can conceal your scent and control your heartbeat, but you’re still a terrible liar.”

Now I bared my teeth, growling in a not so silent warning as I moved my face even closer to his.

“Fuck. You. And now: Get the fuck out.”

We stared into each other’s eyes when he suddenly broke into a humorless chuckle, frustration settling in the frown and his mouth.

“Oh what will you do? Taser me again?”

He moved a hand to show me the device dangling from his free hand before he threw it on the table.

I couldn’t help laughing myself, before reminiscing in the feel of the spark seeping through me as I closed my eyes. The darkness loomed heavier in the room and I could feel the wolf tensing up at the change in mood.

“Do you really think I can’t hurt you without it? Wasn’t our little training enough? Do you need a reminder?”

I jutted my chin out in defiant challenge. Surprisingly, his eyes went hooded and dark at the suggestion. A frown formed on my face while his slowly vanished. Had he recently become a sucker for a pain?

“There was one part I surely would like to be reminded of.”

If I thought I had no air in my lungs beforehand, I was utterly wrong. Derek’s body pressed along mine and his heat seeped into me. I shivered slightly as my mouth fell open. Lust. That’s what had changed his features.

I tasted him on my tongue as we shared the same air, watching him flick his eyes down to my lips and back up to my eyes, before slowly leaning in. The anger had dissipated to somewhere south of my head along with my blood as he licked a wet stripe on my neck and – oh. Oh. I had done the same to him just hours ago. For an intelligent young man I was considerably dumb.

My breathing was shallow as he wandered upwards, softly biting at my earlobe. I whimpered and arched into it unconsciously. I wanted him so much. There were a lot of things I wanted from him, but first and foremost I wanted the hard line of his cock, which burned while pressing into mine through the confines of our clothes, out of those pants and inside of me.

I felt how my spark cursed through me in agitation and how my concentration, which was so desperately needed for spells, receded further. The only thing I could think of was how it felt to have Derek at my throat, mouthing along my jawline. One of his hands wrapped around my neck while the other snaked around my waist to pull me in further as he took a deep breath, apparently taking in the scent I had put away for so long. When his eyes came back into view his pupils were dilated and he looked dazed.

I winced in pain as his grip tightened. I felt a wetness on my chest as the bandages I had so hazardously wrapped around my torso slowly bloomed with a beautiful red. The flaring ache brought back the anger. He had insulted me, mistreated me, so why was he here?

Leaning away from him as far as his arm would allow me, I glared at him in frustration. He had never wanted me before. No one had. Malia…she had probably been so thankful that I helped her that it somehow mislead her to think it was something more that she was feeling, still so unaccustomed to human emotions, and I had been so lost that I didn’t mind. But Derek?

Friendship had been the most I could have ever hoped for, and even that was a far stretch.

My body and heart were screaming at me to pull him back in, ravish his mouth and let him fuck into me with abandon, while my head not so gently reminded me of something.

_You’ve been sleeping with me for a while now. It has…effects._

Gabriel’s voice echoed in my mind and silently I started screaming inside. Was this it? I simply lulled Derek in with my developing Incubi side and left him no real choice but to lust after me like I so desperately wanted him to?

My eyes stared into his dazed ones. Pheromones? Maybe it was a scent I was uncontrollably evaporating.

Had everything been fake? Did my actions change anything in the end?

Derek became blurry before my eyes, my throat tight with a lump and lungs burning. Maybe he had been right. Fucking a demon had changed nothing.

“Stiles?”

I laughed as I shoved him away, maybe using a little more strength than actually necessary. I did my best to evade his lingering stare, feeling ashamed of myself. How could I have ever thought I had done something right for once? That I could be more than the stupid human with his stupid crush and stupid ideas? I've never been special, I never will be.

“Stiles.”

Fingers wrapped around my chin that forced me to slowly rise my gaze up to meet the glowing blue. My heart tripped in my chest before gaining speed as I waited for his final blow.

“Can Incubi change their appearance?”

Laughing or crying. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do more. He already seemed so sure of the answer. And yet he wanted to torture me with making me admit it. But hey, I was already raw and bare, so if he felt like destroying me some more, I could endure it. I deserved it.

I stared up into his eyes, mine black in response to his blue.

I was a horrible, horrible person.

I nodded and he let go.


	20. It could have been me

Stiles’ manic laughter trailed off into a faint whimper while his gaze dropped back down to his feet. Although he was so angry, frustrated and _hurt_ , he was still so devastatingly beautiful to look at, maybe even because of it. He had outgrown the gangly teen body he used to have so much that it was hard to believe he was still the same person.

My fingers itched to trail over the Triskele marked into his chest and to curl around the wolf on his ribs, maybe lick at the reminder of inner wounds that the tree and riddle represented on his arm. The wolf in me preened at seeing him already marked with the sign of my family, but snapped at no longer existing enemies because of the countless old and new wounds that Stiles wore like an armor.

I stared at his long lashes which were hiding the endlessness of whiskey eyes, at his tousled damp hair, which was demanding to be tugged, followed the long line of his neck to his collarbone, which was begging to be bit, down his scar covered chest, which was asking to be kissed, further down his lean abs to the trail of hair vanishing into the pants that sat low on his hips, and finally back up to those sinful lips that sang of promises whispered in the rise of a storm.

But there was even more magnificence within him and it was agitating to know it had been there all along and I just had been too blind in my obstinate search for the desert wolf to see it. No, even long before it. I had ignored what was right before my eyes, the beauty that lay there and instead sank into the arms of women who once more proved me that I was right in not trusting easily. I couldn’t say when it had actually started, but somehow, somewhere in between blood and gashing wounds, I had realized I didn’t need to watch my own back around him. He did it for me. Although Scott had betrayed me, Stiles didn’t. Never.

He was fierce and strong and so stubbornly loyal and courageous for the people he loved. Even though he was so fragile in his humanity, he never shied away from the monsters, supernatural or human, and he bore the scars to prove it. He had been broken so many times, knocked off his feet, caged in his own mind, drowned in loneliness, but still he got back up every time. He was a warrior and his love was endless and this was a truly intimidating combination.

And now, he stood there with his head hung low, as if the confession had cost him so much more than the physical fight with the monsters just hours ago. Exhaustion was carved deep into the bags under his eyes, in the rigid lines of his mouth and tightness of his jaw. It was painful to see, to grasp how long it has been since he has had a carefree day instead of dealing with the things his Alpha should have taken care of. In his blind love for his brother he had started to mistreat himself.

I heard Stiles inhale deeply before letting out a shuddering sigh, his heart slowly calming to the usual jackrabbit speed. It wouldn’t be much longer before he was ready to speak or act and maybe chase me out.

My head was trying to sort out what all of this meant for me, for us.

Sure, I had recognized somehow that the _thing_ in my apartment hadn’t been Stiles. It was hard to pinpoint, but the scent had been the biggest clue, aside from the obvious oddity of him caving in to me. I could barely recall how I had fled its clinging hands with fear eating at my insides in remembrance of the cruel fox demon that had once possessed him until he had worn his body like a suit.

The ride to his place was blurry in my head as well, just until the point I had hopped through his window, finally catching his heartbeat in the house and his scent soothing the roaring terror in me, although the room smelled much less of contentment, happiness and home, but instead like the tickle of residing magic, blood and sex, it had been enough.

I had waited there in that toxic cocktail, taking note of how he had hesitated behind the door, only to hear him wander away again. The mere minutes had felt like hours in my mind until finally he had been there, resignation in his posture combined with a surety that whoever was in the room wouldn’t harm him. As soon as he had realized it was me, a hint of his well-known panic came into the mix before it all vanished into nothing for a while.

Even with the stunning revelation hanging heavy in the room, my blood was hot in my veins, filled with the raw need to lastly claim him as my own, remove the stench of the Incubus and replace it with my scent. _Mine, mine, mine._

While the wolfish parts of me kept chanting songs of bites and claiming, the thoughts rotating in my head pieced themselves together. Stiles had slept with the Incubus. The Incubus had apparently worn my face. For Stiles. While he slept with him. Stiles _wanted_ him to look like me. Stiles… _liked_ me.

As I was still staring at the elusive little Spark, it wasn’t hard to miss how his head jerked until he gazed at me with blatant hurt in his eyes, before rage burned it away with hot flames and took its place. Only then I realized that I had been laughing.

A small rose of dark guilt bloomed in my chest at his stare, but I couldn’t help the bubbling laughter. It was just so ridiculous. He wanted me. He liked me. And yet he had treated me like I was the bane of his existence. Stiles could say what he wanted, but the fucking Incubus had looked like me when they rolled in the sheets and the least he had to feel for that to happen was lust for me and… I could work with that. It was something to build up upon.

Fury rose from every pore of his body and he moved forward from his slouched position and took a somewhat defensive stance as he yelled at me.

“GET OUT!!”

I suppressed a wince at the loud roar, which ripped me from the depth of my thoughts and left me with a ringing in my sensitive ears. Luckily, it helped down toning my amusement so it became more controllable and only showed in a wicked smirk that lingered in a corner of my lips.

“No Stiles. You don’t get to run away from this,” I answered, predatory eyes settling on the anger induced red flush on his cheeks that made my teeth feel too big in my mouth.

“No, _Derek_. You don’t get to have a choice in this,” he spat back, feet shuffling into a fighting stance.

And that’s where he was wrong. If he wanted to fuck someone who looked like me, it could damn well _be_ _me_.

I bridged the distance again and aggressively invaded his space. Of course he immediately aimed a punch at my jaw, but this time I wasn’t so clueless – I expected nothing less than a fight. I caught his wrist in a tight grip and he roared in frustration before throwing another fist in the direction of my face. Thanks to my supernatural reflexes I ducked it and used the force behind it to twist him around until his back was to my chest. Quickly I wrapped my free arm around him and pulled him flush against me while pressing us forward until I could effectively cage him against the wall. _Again_.

Stiles let out a string of exasperated noises and heated curses, writhing in my hold in the vain attempt to escape it. I was just glad he didn’t seem to be inclined to use his magic, and somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped it had something to do with our high bodily proximity.

“Stop it. I think you’ve left me without choice for long enough.”

He stopped moving and I felt him sag against the long line of my body. I couldn’t help letting out a content hum and in return he mumbled something incoherent as I savored the shared space and heat. I was tempted to loosen my grip by his partial obedience, but wasn’t fooled. I didn’t let go, but instead buried my nose in his hair, moved my lips closer to his ear and watched in fascination how goosebumps spread across his fair skin. I didn't particularly like how he kept all his words inside of him, but for now it would work in my favor.

“Why do they change appearance, Stiles?”, I whispered softly into his ear.

His heart skipped a beat and I relished it like the last rain before the drought. He remained silent.

“Why did you sleep with him while he was wearing my face?”

His fingers twitched. He remained silent.

“Do you like me, Stiles?”

His shoulders tensed. He remained silent.

I sighed open mouthed against the warmth of him underneath my lips and he started trembling ever so slightly, only not missed by me because there was no space between us to hide it. He was still so determined to hide the truth and chase me away. I wanted to figure out why, hear it from his lips, but there would be enough time for it once he stopped pushing me away. He was so close to me, but he wasn’t _mine_ yet.

“Did you know I had the displeasure of meeting him? That he was in my apartment?”

I smelled the rage arising in him anew. He remained silent.

“No, of course you didn’t.”

His jaw was twitching with the strenuous activity of keeping his mouth shut. I could practically _feel_ his need to talk. Still, he remained silent.

“You are probably more informed on what it means, but I know what it means to _me_ : He looked like you.”

Stiles squirmed around and this time I loosened my grip on his wrist and at his waist as he twisted and faced me with his eyes opened wide in scared wonder, staring into my face searchingly. Slowly I leaned in, giving him the time to pull away again. But this time, he stayed, and I let my forehead touch his as I ran my nose against his cheek.

“I like you.”

I closed the space between our lips and set off a firestorm as I caught his mouth in a kiss. His muscles lost their tightness and his hands scrambled to my neck and hair, frantically holding me close, and the silence was lost in the storm of our racing heartbeats as my tongue licked past his soft lips into the consuming heat of his mouth. And as we burned high, my fingers finally roamed over the creamy mole-dotted skin, held on too tightly on his hips and kneaded his firm buttocks until he bucked up into me and wrapped his strong legs around me, only supported by my strength. When I couldn't hold off any longer and started sucking my own marks into his necks, biting, licking and kissing, I had no more need for words, but finally he broke his silence and whispered with spit slick lips so soft-spoken I almost overheard it.

_“I missed you so fucking much you asshole.”_


	21. One more time

I’ve had a gun pointed to my head, had creatures rip me open with claws and teeth, but this, this right here felt so much more like a deadly threat.

I unwrapped my legs from his waist and his hands wandered back to my hips and softly held on to my shaking body, before one strolled to my back to make me arch further into his ever consuming heat. I couldn’t resist.

My heart pounded in my chest in its cage of bones, desperately trying to escape and I wished I had the ability to rip the treacherous thing out and give it to him so this all would be finally over. There was a ringing in my ears turning down the pitiful noises I was probably making as his lips created a wet path on my neck.

 _He looked like you_.

It was everything I wanted and because it was I had to tell me over and over again that it wasn’t true. Just another pretty lie. I knew better than to trust those. How ironic that now, although the real object of my affections was right in front of me, it was still not true. Gabe had known all along and probably even let me walk straight into my doom, maybe even pushed me in that direction. Who knew? Demon's don't play nice.

Nonetheless, I was greedy for more. No, his feelings weren’t true, but _he_ was. How could a duplicate ever be enough again after I had had his taste on my tongue, had pulled at his soft hair and heard him moan my name?

With shaking hands I kept him close, frantically mapping every piece of skin I could get my fingers on, stored every tiny little move of his muscles away. I was going to need it.

The Incubus had to die.

It was fine if he wanted to corrupt me, suck off my live energy, change who I used to be, but no one, absolutely _no one_ , touched Derek fucking Hale as long as I could stop them. I could and I would and when he was dead, I would leave so Derek would be free of these ridiculous feelings I had put on him. I could only hope that he wouldn’t hate me after the whole disaster. He didn't deserve any more bullshit.

And once more I promised myself: Only this once.

I had one night to pretend the ravaging fire in me was a safe and warm thing instead of an ever-growing inferno.

“Stiles…”

My breath escaped me as I opened my eyes to the glowing blue of the man I loved. I felt my eyebrows twitch in question at his inquiring stare, every other thought vanished. He was the only thing that mattered. His heat, his scent, his lust.

After a moment only filled with our fastened breaths, he inched forward again and licked at the seam of my mouth, bidding for entrance. Happily I opened my lips for him and drowned in the almost sickly sweet kiss.

My hands wandered to his butt and I couldn’t help but squeeze while rubbing my pelvis against his hard front. He groaned hungrily into my mouth and everything that had been slow about the kiss before made place for a heated devouring clash of tongues and teeth.

When the need for air became unbearable I pushed him back. His lids fluttered open, revealing a darkness in his eyes that spoke volumes of his desire for this and made the vibrant specks in them even more enticing.

Almost simultaneously we paused, heated gazes wandering over each other, before we started to tear at our clothes in silent understanding. Skin. We needed more skin on skin. Like yesterday.

Before he could do much more than tug at the elastic of my sweatpants I urged him to get that god damn shirt off his splendid body. While his hands were busy with pulling his shirt over his head, I turned him with his back against the wall and bend down to lick and bite at the revealed skin of his stomach, following the up wandering seam of his shirt. When I reached his pecs I detoured to the left and closed my mouth around his nipple and sucked it in before delicately nibbling at it with my teeth. I rumbled contently when his torso shuddered under my assault and from another growl vibrating through him.

Without hesitation I sank to my knees and mouthed at his rock hard erection over his constricting jeans. I felt a hand weave into my hair and with a wicked smile spreading on my lips I glanced upwards only to see how the werewolf’s head fell back against the wall with a dull thud and his groin moved forward into my touch.

I backed away and chuckled at the frustrated groan Derek made as he realized my mouth was gone. With dexterous fingers I opened his pants and shoved them down far enough that his cock sprung free. An appreciative moan escaped my lips at the sight and almost unconsciously I ran a finger up the side to the glistening top. Of course Derek Hale had a nice thick and long dick.

With a deliberately slow movement I licked a long stripe over the head before I circled it with my tongue. My dick twitched at the delicious moans and whimpers Derek made. Finally it paid off to have an oral fixation.

“Fuck..!”

As his hips twitched into my open mouth I again moved away and instead nosed along his raging erection until I reached his heavy balls. I let my teeth graze over them before I sucked one of them into my mouth and let it roll over my tongue.

I placed one hand on his muscled thigh to keep him from moving too much and wrapped two fingers of the other tightly around the base of his cock. The fingers in my hair started tugging me up more insistently and lastly I gave in with a smile and refocused on wandering up his dick with my tongue, without loosening my grip around the base.

Once more I circled the head before slowly sinking down the length, appreciating the weight on my tongue and enjoying the stretch of my jaw as I dove down deeper. Achingly slow I started bobbing my head up and down, paying attention to keep my teeth off on most moves and teasing him with them on the others.

I detached my fingers from his dick and placed them on the other thigh, digging my nails into the soft flesh until he groaned. I gazed back up through my lashes and met his watching heavy-lidded eyes. After another deep breath through my nose I inched down the length of his raging erection, never breaking eye-contact. I made an effort to loosen my throat when his dick hit it and moved on further. I saw his eyes widen in surprise and pleasure as he encountered the tightness and I hummed with satisfaction.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

His voice was raspy and throaty just like mine would probably be after deep-throating him and I loved that I had made him sound so wrecked with pleasure and I hummed again around the warm hardness in my mouth. His hips twitched.

Almost impatiently he pushed my head back off his dick and I made a complaining noise as he popped from between my lips with an obscene noise, a string of spit connecting his glistening hard on with my tongue sticking out of my mouth. With a hand around my chin he pulled me up and close to ravish my lips in a bruising kiss.

I felt his strong hands grabbing my butt and hauling me up further. Grumbling slightly I rubbed my own erection against his and whimpered as sparks ignited in my body and travelled up my spine. Greedily he swallowed my noises in his mouth and hoisted me up to walk us backwards to my bed. Again, I wrap my legs around his waist to continue rubbing myself against him.

Carefully he bent down and placed me on my sheets before crawling after me with a predatory look, hands preceding his head on his way up on my legs. When he reached my thighs, his fingers dug into them with more force, making me spread my legs to make room for him to settle in between. Derek growled as he rubbed his cheek along my upper thigh and a tightness coiled low in my guts when he nosed along the hard line of my cock, up to the wet patch on my pants. My hands clawed at the sheets as he pressed down and took a deep breath of my concentrated scent.

I watched in awe as the most beautiful man I had ever seen rested between my spread legs and I thought I couldn’t get more breathless when he suddenly raised his lids to look at me with burning eyes and a smirk spreading on his slightly kiss swollen lips. A pitiful whine gurgled from my throat and he grabbed the material of the sweats, hooking two fingers under the waistband, and pulled.

For a moment he stared in fascination at the newly revealed skin until the curve of my ass didn’t allow the pants to go down further. Again his gaze wandered to mine as he tilted his head and cocked one eyebrow. I groaned. It shouldn’t be as arousing, but fuck, it was.

And of course he knew: the smirk vanished and his eyes flashed before he started tugging more insistently. I couldn’t help the teasing grin and enjoyed the mesmerizing view of his glorious behind from my position a moment longer before he growled without real heat and I slowly raised my hips.

I laughed at his frustrated growl as now his own body prevented me from finally losing the damn pants, but within seconds he was kneeling and I angled my legs helpfully until I was free of them.

A strong hand trapped one of my ankles mid-air. With his head crooked to the side he unhurriedly followed the trail, which his hands had previously taken, with his mouth, gently nipping at the skin and rubbing it with the stubble on his chin while dipping back down on the sheets. Every place he marked still prickled violently even after he had wandered on. When he once more meandered over the sensitive skin of my inner thighs he pointedly tugged at it with his teeth, making me tremor in his tight hold. He soothed the burning marks with soft licks, which in turn made me shudder when the cold air flowed over the wetness.

I shivered with need. He had artfully avoided my dick until now, maybe as payback for my teasing. Everything in me felt like pleading him for more and it took several more wet kisses to my balls until my twisted dignity finally shut up and let me open my mouth.

“Der…please…”, I whimpered.

My eyes widened at the sound of my own voice. It was ragged, broken and in my ears so different from the times I had had sex with Gabriel. With a tortured moan I pressed my eyes closed and concentrated on the still blissful feel of Derek licking and biting. It was so heavenly, yet not enough, but when it stopped, I craved the intoxicating touches to return so much that my skin itched in discomfort.

“Shh..I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

I quieted down again and waited with as much patience as I could gather, sighing contently when he returned to his work, teeth now grazing over my balls, warm breath tickling. My throbbing erection smeared precome unto my trained stomach and pulsed with interest when he paused in his assault on my testicles and hovered over the heat of my length. I growled angrily when he still didn’t touch it but instead lapped at the thin wet trail it had left on my belly. The anger arising immediately vanished at the sight and I moaned as he let the taste roll over his tongue.

“Derek!!”

He stopped mid lick and raised both eyebrows when he looked at me. And if that didn’t do more delicious things to me. After a silent stare contest I huffed out a breath and he licked once more before his lips _finally_ closed around the head of my cock and another string of broken curses left my mouth before I could stop them. After a small and delicious eternity of him suckling on the sensitive tip he sunk down, hollowing his cheeks and swirling his tongue. He seized the base of my dick in a tender grip and pulled off for a short while to impatiently suck two of his callused strong fingers into his mouth before the spit slicked hand surged down, lower between my legs. I pushed my hips forward and up to grant him more access as he swallowed my cock down once more.

To finally stop the embarrassing sounds I was making I bit my lips when I felt his fingers circle my hole, knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut otherwise. He breached the tight muscle and wriggled one of his thick fingers inside. My groin clenched and I surged up into the enveloping heat of the werewolf’s mouth, who reacted by putting his free hand back on my hip and pushing me down. I wanted to whimper and howl but it only sounded faintly like protest as I bit down harder. At my broken noises he opened his eyes to look at me and with his trademark frown settling on his face he let my cock slip past his parted lips.

“Stop that”, he demanded with a dark growl in his words.

Now that was more familiar. Commands. And I was such a good boy to follow those. I snorted.

“Make me”, I smirked in open challenge.

Instantly I had a hot and heavy werewolf hovering inches from my face with flaring nostrils and my hands pinned on either side of my head. I bared my teeth and hissed at him. He only snickered in return and reclaimed my lips while thrusting down. I rolled my body up into his when our bare dicks touched and shared the delicious friction.

I could taste salty traces of myself on his tongue and wished that I could again tug at his soft hair, get leverage by digging my nails into his back, his ass, _anything_. But no, the asshole tightened his hold on my wrists and straddled my hips, constricting every of my movements.

“Moan my name again.”

He pointedly rotated his hips on my crotch and laughed softly as my mouth fell open, but I still somehow managed not to make a sound. Derek changed his position slightly to get one of his hands free while the other now held both of mine.

His fingers slid over my chest towards one of my nipples. I shivered when he flicked one of the pert little nubs, but sneered when no noise left me. He growled.

“I said _moan._ ”

My eyes rolled back when he pinched my nipple and held on tightly. FUCK.

“ _Derek.._!!”

Rumbling contently he let go and with a smile still lingering on his lips, he kissed the corner of my mouth.

“Lube?” he mumbled as his fingers strolled back to my quivering hole, finding it again to dry to enter.

I pulled at my restraints but he only raised his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and nodded towards the nightstand. He followed the movement and made an angry sound when he saw some ripped condom wrappers as well as a half empty bottle of lube. He grabbed the bottle anyway and opened it with a flick of his thumb.

With a rueful sigh he let go.

“Turn around for me?”

Temporarily thrown off track by the suddenly tender tone, I obediently pulled my legs up a little and twisted until I could get my knees under me and presented my ass while my shoulders stayed down on the sheets.

Derek apparently took a moment to appreciate the view before his fingers dug in and pulled my cheeks apart. I was quivering with lust and was about to snark at him to finally get it _on_ when I felt something warm and wet run over my hole. Oh. Okay then.

Another lick. I squirmed and tried to stay in position, but once more my nerve ends were tingling from the sensation and I whimpered lowly.

Suddenly the warmth was replaced with a cold glob dripping down my crack and one of his hands anchored me on my lower back with pressure while the other went back to work at loosening my hole. He teased around the rim for a bit before testing the tightness with a prodding finger. The first one went in easily enough now and I moaned at finally having it back inside me.

“More”, I rasped.

He obliged and pushed a second one in along the first. It was better but not enough. There was only a slight stretch now, but I wanted more, _needed_ more. Greedily I pushed back as he started pumping in and out, angling my hips to make him touch that sensitive bundle of nerves that I really wanted some attention on. He thrusted in faster for a few more moments before slowing and crooking his fingers just at the right angle and I groaned loudly and bit into the pillow in front of me.

A soothing hand ran up my back, resting anew between my shoulders when quickly a third finger is added and at last there is a little blissful pain in the stretch when he scissors them apart to open me.

“Fuck me damnit!!”

I got a growl in return, but the fingers actually vanished and I tried to catch my breath, when I felt the tip of his dick at my entrance.

“Yesss-”

Eagerly I pushed back against the heat and head popped through the tight barrier. I writhed a little, wiggling my ass as I accommodated to the new feeling. He didn’t move further for a while, but just as I was about to again beg for him to give me more, he plunged his complete length into me with a forceful thrust.

Tears stung in my eyes, but it hurt so deliciously well and I relished it as we both groaned and moaned at the shared pleasure. Impatiently I started rotating my hips, gasping at feeling how his length moved in me.

I noticed how one hand snaked around to my front and hauled me up against the strong body behind me while the other came to rest on my shoulder. Then, he started thrusting up into the tightness of my hole with speed. God he was big. I felt stretched but wanted him deeper, tried to urge him on with one of my hands reaching back to curl around his neck, the other dragging the fingers on my shoulder around my throat.

He slowed a little and made and inquisitive noise. I knew throat and neck were dangerous things to play with when it came to werewolves, but I couldn’t help wanting the restriction and tightness of his hold. He had always held me and my life in his hands and this time it was just a little more literal.

I pressed his hand on my throat with emphasis and let my head fall a little to the side to bare the long line of my neck, finally surrendering to him.

With a loud growl he nipped at my shoulder while he closed his fingers around my throat and started a punishing speed that rocked us both forward with force until I could place one of my hands against the wall to brace myself.

My dick pulsed and ached with every pump. But aside from when it slapped against my stomach from time to time, there was no friction whatsoever, seeing as I was still mostly suspended in the air, with my legs wrapped backwards around the muscled thighs of Derek and my body arched in a stretched curve.

Nonetheless I could already feel the tightness and tickling heat announcing my soon to come climax. I was already feeling like a mess, sinking deeper into blissful mindlessness and gargled out moans and groans and whimpers and curses and several variations of his name when the werewolf made a particularly forceful thrust.

Suddenly he leaned us both forward until I could place my knees back on the bed. Much to my surprise he didn’t let go of my throat, only changed the pressure of his hold on it. When I was slowly sinking back into my previous state of mind, blissed out and thoughtless, he angled his hips differently and hit my prostate spot on.

My eyes rolled back into my head and I howled as my vision was spotted in black and white, my toes curled and my fingers scratched at the paint of my wall.

“FUCK…”

I could practically feel him preen behind me as he shoved in, hitting the bundle of nerves again. I was falling apart at the seams and he enjoyed causing it and watching the outcome. But his huffing was telling me more than enough about how worked up he was as well, just like the twitching and swelling of his cock revealed how _close_ he was.

“Come inside. _Please_ , Der..”

The answering growl vibrated through my body.

“Oh Stiles…I…”

I was so close, so close.

He leaned forward and nipped at my ear.

“I want to knot you…” he whispered into the shell of my ear with a warm breath.

Knot. He had a knot. Werewolves had fucking knots. Did Scott..? Did only born..?

My thoughts tumbled around in my mind like a forming hurricane. Could I take it? Did I want to?

As he lost speed and instead replaced the forceful thrusts with slow penetrations that rubbed my insides right, but not _deep_ enough as he kept the swelling base just outside my rim, calmness came back with its soothing blackness.

There wouldn’t be any other time to get him, get this and it was the clearest bodily difference that would mark it as different from all the times I had let the demon into my bed.

I started nodding frantically as he gnawed on my lips and I felt him growing a little more.

“Do it Derek. Knot me, breed me..”

With a whine he plunged forward a couple of times before my rim started stretching to welcome the forming bulge and when it finally slipped past it, his hands clamped down on me, not quite human fingers digging into my chest and throat, while he rocked slow and deep.

I whimpered as the base of his dick kept swelling and locked us together, his breathing even more ragged than mine as he howled before clamping down on my neck with pointy teeth, just as he pressed in just that bit more and spilled his hot seed in side of me.

The pain still flared in my shoulder as he twitched on inside of me. I distantly thought ‘god, that is _a lot_ of cum’ when wriggled a little and his knot rubbed at my prostate with every little twitch he made as another string of milky cum spilled from his penis. It was too much, but I couldn’t let go, wanted this for eternity even if I would never find released.

His hand wandered lower and just as he was about to touch me, he whispered into my ear once more.

“Come for me, love.”

And that was it for me. Before he could actually wrap his fingers around me, I came with a shuddering cry and spilled my cum over his hands. Derek made an astonished noise in his throat and started peppering my neck with kisses as he rolled us over slowly, careful not to tug too hard on the knot.

“You are so perfect, so fucking perfect for me…”

Carefully he pulled our sweaty bodies flush together and licked at my salty skin and his bite mark on my shoulder, while I tried to catch my breath. It was rather difficult with a thing feeling like a tennis ball up my ass, which was still rubbing against the sensitive bundle of nerves inside me. I whimpered a little, but couldn’t help preening at the soft words.

We drifted in silence for several minutes where we probably nodded off for a while, because as I came back to myself, the knot was considerably less thick. Maybe even small enough to slip it out. Not that I wanted to, because knots? Great shit.

“That was fucking awesome.”

Derek chuckled.

“Yeah it was. How are you feeling? Does it hurt?”

I wiggled my hips a little and considered.

“A little maybe? I wasn’t quite prepared for _that_ surprise. But it’s…good.”

That was the understatement of the year, but he hummed in understanding anyway and paused his licking on my neck.

“Next time I want to see your face when we do this.”

My heart sunk. _Next time_. There would be no such thing. Fuck. Can’t I enjoy it while it lasts??

He made a throaty despaired sound, somewhere between a growl and moan, apparently catching my new mood and interpreting it differently. Carefully he slipped out (I didn’t whine at the loss, nope) and turned me towards him before shoving his cock back where I wanted it. The knot wasn’t big enough anymore to keep the copious amount of cum completely inside, but when I clenched down it would suffice. I didn’t want to lose that feeling again.

I avoided his eyes until he framed my face with his large hands. I exhaled slowly and leaned into one of the hands. This wouldn’t be fun. This was probably the first time I wish he wouldn’t talk.

“There _will_ be a next time. As long as you want there to be. I’m sorry I left.”

A stabbing pain shot through my body, freezing my muscles with needle pricks and I clenched my eyes shut as I started shaking my head against his soft hold.

“No, Derek, stop pl-”

I could feel the lump in my throat growing and tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t deserve this. He was a good person. Despite everything. He had been an asshole, but he still had decided every time to be the hero and not the villain. Maybe he just wasn’t supposed to be my hero.

“Stiles. You need to hear this. I should have told you where I was, when I left, when I came back. It wasn’t right to leave you alone in this hellhole and I truly regret it with every fiber of my being. I hope you can forgive me.”

Desperately gasping for air that seemed to evade me I shook my head more vehemently. Stop, stop, _stop_.

“I’m back and I won’t leave you alone. I want you to be mine. Mine to protect, mine to love.”

Finally some air made its way to my lungs when he kissed me. I opened my eyes and finally looked into his. Clinging to the last shreds of my sanity I reminded myself that it was fine to have this for the night. For once.

“I was always yours Derek.”


	22. Afterglow

I woke up in the early morning hours, sun already creeping into the window and dipping the room in a soft glow. A content noise escaped me as I buried my nose in the soft pillow, which smelled heavenly of Stiles and me. For my sensitive senses, the smell of sex was still heavy in the air and I greedily inhaled it. It was reassuring to know that it had actually happened.

The events of the night had been a little bit of a surprise. Not just the sexual part. We had really needed it to finally solidify what had hung between us for far too long to be comfortable anymore. I had been so afraid I had lost him after I had run my stupid mouth when my control had been thin in anger, the feeling a burning agony in my veins until he finally caved.

He had missed me.When the words had travelled over his lips with anger still clinging to them, it was instantly clear to me how this had been different from the sugar coated words the incubus had tried to feed me.

I felt a smile tug at my lips at the thought of the confession. It had just been so uniquely Stiles. Of course he had to call me an asshole, and of course I deserved it. There were still too many things we would have to talk about, especially the reason why a choking hand did so much for him when he had been so afraid of drowning when I left, but we had all the time in the world now.

He was mine, all _mine_.

God….

The boy had let me _knot_ him, even asked me to breed him and I was hungry to deliver. Even after my beautiful spark had nodded off in a light sleep I couldn’t help angling his hips to keep my cum inside when my cock was no longer hard enough to do it. I took the chance and stared at him, took everything in, learned every detail until goosebumps crawled over his skin and I hurried to cover him with a blanket. With tangled legs and his split lips close to mine I joined him in his sleep.

Now, my wolf was purring contentedly because of all those little things, just until more consciousness settled and I realized that something wasn’t quite right.

Slowly, I opened my lids to the sight of Stiles back. He was curled in on himself, trembling slightly as his heart raced away in his chest like a frightened deer in the woods at the darkest hour. It was hard to tell if he was awake, his breathing strained and heavy chasing after his heart. I could see that he had scooted away from me far enough that we didn’t touch at all, which was quite an achievement, considering the size of the bed. I frowned.

The space between us, no matter how small, was endlessly cold.

Carefully I reached for his shoulder, ignoring the tingle in my fingers that tried to warn me about the magic radiating from his body in waves. My throat tightened when my skin connected with his, a jolt of electricity sparking in my nerve ends and I wasn’t quite sure if it was because of the boy’s spark or the tight knot inside of me that ached to be unwound by him. The muscles in his back tensed momentarily at the contact, but I didn’t hesitate.

Tenderly I traced the splattering of moles, followed them down his neck, further in between his shoulder blades where I payed special attention to the three thin white lines that seemed to be remnants of claws. I painted soothing patterns on his back along his strong muscles, gradually inching forward until I could join my hands with my nose and chin. Stiles breathing started to settle again and the scent of anxiousness slowly dissolved along with it.

My fingers travelled around his slender hips and I pulled him towards me until I could wrap my body around his to shield him from our cruel world that had given him all these wounds, inside and out. A whine travelled up my throat at the mere _thought_ of him being hurt. Waves of pain still made me immovable when the picture of his own fresh blood on him resurfaced.

He deserved to be safe and happy, but he didn’t quite seem on board with that anymore. I had seen him fight, and he could sure hold his ground. Maybe it wasn’t all by accident that he had this many scars and bruises. He had clung to the pain for months after the Nogitsune, and this looked too much like something he would do to finally receive the punishment he thought he deserved.

With time he would learn that it was not his fault, that it never was. I would make sure of that, because he had always made sure to tell me I wasn’t responsible for the fire.

Determination formed in my mind while his body heated up again and I nosed along his hairline, huffing soft breaths into his neck. When his trembling disappeared and he seemed to melt back into me and the warmth I provided, I relaxed a little more.

“I’ll keep you as safe as I can Stiles”, I softly mumbled against his throat and I could feel him swallow heavily under my lips.

I couldn’t promise he would never be harmed, not in this hellhole we called home, but I needed to try. To the reasonable part of me it sounded more than stupid that I had fallen so hard in so few days, but my wolf had finally settled now that he was in my arms. It made all so much sense to him, to my heart… all those shared looks, the weird heaviness hanging between us, the raw _need_ to seek the other out in battle and _protect_.

Stiles probably had known long before me what this whole thing was and maybe if I hadn’t been so deep in my grave of self-loathing, I could have had this sooner, could have had him beside me when everything seemed to collapse and the world was heavy on my shoulders. This connection had always been so much more than what I allowed it to be and now that it bloomed in this early morning it felt too big for my chest, my heart.

The world seemed to turn a little slower as we erased the last of the cold space and aligned our bodies to fill it with heat. I closed my eyes again, partly slipping back into a mindless space, the wiggle of his bare buttock against my front causing a low thrum of arousal as sleep engulfed me once more, warm sunrays travelling up my back.

I dreamed of slow kisses and soft touches and the only fire burning was in his eyes.

When I awoke the next time, I was lying on my back, the sheets low on my hips and the bed beside me empty. I sighed and touched the sheets to find them cold once more. It was rather unusual that I had not woken up when he left, that I had slept this long at all. I glanced at the clock I knew was on his nightstand and was surprised to see it was already ten.

After a lazy stretch I sat upright and tilted my head to strain my hearing to find out if anyone was in the house. Aside from a bird on the roof, no one was there. Where had the kid run off to?

I tried not to worry too much. He wasn’t one to run from his problems. That was my part.

Still naked I twisted around to plant my feet on the cold floor and strolled towards the desk where I may have thrown some piece of my clothing. Instead of finding any of those, a crumpled piece of paper caught my eye. Curiously I unfolded it. There in Stiles weirdly scribbly-neat handwriting was written:

_Pheromone Emission? Touch-based interaction: forced emotional connection_

I frowned at the words but couldn’t quite make sense of them. Maybe another monster that was plaguing the city without our knowledge. Or just something from the beastiary which had caught the spark’s interest long enough to research it. I was really hoping it was the second thing, since Stiles had yet to learn to tell the pack what was going on again. And if he wasn’t willing to tell _them_ , he should at least tell me.

Slowly turning away I made a mental note to _finally_ get some knowledge on power sucking demons. Even if Stiles now distanced himself from the Incubus, he could still be a serious threat. I wasn’t willing to risk losing Stiles to another demon.

I looked for his Laptop, thinking I could just as well start now and wait for him to get back, but couldn’t find it. I shrugged it off.

While I approached the closet to shamelessly steal a pair of the boy’s underwear and possibly a shirt, even if it would be a tight fit, I realized that his backpack was gone and I rolled my eyes at myself when I clued together where Stiles had wandered off to.

I had fucked him on a school night. Great.

While still reprimanding myself, I slipped some briefs on and hesitated when my eyes wandered over the contents of the closet. Before I could stop myself, my hands travelled over the variety of fabrics displayed on their hangers. Somehow I missed the ridiculous plaid shirts. With a huff I pulled out a black sweater which seemed big enough. It stretched a little over my chest but when my hands slipped through the sleeves, a smile crept onto my lips. Thumbholes.

After I was dressed I pulled out my phone, which was barely alive with six percent battery, but flooded with missed calls and messages. Mostly Scott, some Lydia and Liam, a few by Kira.

I had shot Scott a quick text after the fight to inform him I had found Stiles, but ignored what came in response. It was hypocritical to be so furious with him for not protecting Stiles the last months, because I hadn’t been there at all, but he was supposed to be a goddamn _true alpha_ and the boy’s best friend.

I scrolled through them to get rid of the damn notifications without reading any of them and was about to send another message requesting to talk (preferably sometime when the moon wouldn’t be high in the sky and wearing our nerves thin) when I saw the time of the last messages were from this morning

[8:50 am – _from_ Scott]: _Stiles w/ u? walked out of class and didn’t come back_

[8:59 am – _from_ Scott]: _DEREK u there??_

[9:12 am – _from_ Scott]: _Liam found his bag, Danny hacked his laptop. search history is all about Incubi: forced emotional connections by pheromones and how to kill them. Wtf is going on?_

[9:24 am – _from_ Scott]: _CALL ME. Talked 2 Deaton._

Fear raised its ugly head, twisting my guts and crawling up to wrap bony fingers around my heart and throat. I spun on the spot and before I registered that I had walked forward my hands already closed around the wrinkled piece of paper. I started shaking my head.

No. No. Just…no.

I should have known he wouldn’t believe me. He couldn’t hear my heart when I had spoken all those truths, but maybe even than he wouldn’t have trusted them. If he knew how to control his heart, then I could do so with mine.

If he needed to kill this fucking Incubus to believe my feelings were not just a pheromone induced illusion, I would slice his throat open myself.

I just needed to find him first.

Without scent or any clue where to look.

Fuck.


	23. Not only Angels carry wings

I tried my best not to flinch when I heard a soft thud behind me that announced Gabe’s arrival. Of course he had flown here even in broad daylight. The creatures of Beacon Hills really needed to learn to be a little more secretive if they wanted to stay hidden from prying human eyes.

The steps came closer.

“Hey darling. Missed me already?”, the Incubus purred.

With a snort I twisted around a little to glance at him, careful to maintain my balance, because I was sitting on the ledge of one of the highest buildings in Beacon Hills. I had been there for about twenty minutes, staring at the sky like it held all explanations and at the depth before me reminding me of all the threats and darkness. Like a bad cliché.

Usually, the Incubus preferred to surprise me at home whenever he needed some power and in turn whenever I felt the urge to be fucked raw and hide from the creeping feelings in me, I would crawl up on a high place and wait for him to find me. He never offered his phone number and I never asked. Only now I realized, I didn’t know what he did when he wasn’t with me, and until I learned he had walked into Derek’s apartment with my face on him, I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I definitely was an asshole. I deserved to feel as bad as I did.

But because I wasn’t the only cliché, Gabriel sat down next to me, leathery wings disappearing with a small gesture, and started to pull out his cigarettes. I watched him flick his lighter with fingers I knew too well, before he put the cig between lips I’ve maybe tasted one too many times.

I let my gaze wander away from him, watched the clouds in the sky and thought about how it would feel like to fly through them like he did so easily, to just escape to wherever I would be carried by the wind.

Maybe I would have asked him sometime how it feels. Maybe even asked to take me with him. Not anymore.

My eyes flicked back to him as he puffed out some smoke.

“I sometimes wonder what you really look like”, I confessed.

Gabriel paused mid movement for barely a second, then he chuckled and his eyes met mine, a smirk still on his lips, his face closed off.

“Like everything you desire.”

I held his stare, slowly licking my lips. He was good at selling himself, he had been since I met him and it was easy enough to just give in. But it all was terribly empty in the end.

“Your life sounds as lonely as mine feels.”

“I’ve never been companionable.”

It was obvious to me that he avoided answering clearly and he wasn’t as sneaky with it as he wished to be. I was a Sheriff’s son after all. I nodded nonetheless and he broke eye contact.

“I’m guessing you didn’t have the best day?”, he deflected.

I laughed. It was quite an understatement since I had felt torn apart for the longest time and it had become just this little bit worse when I had awoken to a warm body clinging to mine. A panic attack had started stealing my sanity when Derek carefully caressed my back and pulled me back in. It had been the first time since he left that I slept peacefully.

With the morning sun I had slowly caged the beast that others named heart. It would only interfere with my plans: I had to find Gabriel, get behind all this, kill him if necessary and leave Beacon Hills.

I couldn’t even quite find it in me to be angry anymore, everything felt a little dull now, dampened by the sadness filling me. But since I had carried it with me for some time, it wasn’t that hard to keep it from showing.

“No. It was absolutely great. I just missed you”, I said with a small wink.

He laughed and surprisingly my heart ached a little at the sight. Derek deserved to be this happy, to wear a smile like this, but did Gabriel?

I had been so grateful in the beginning, even with all the guilt mixed in. He had turned my life at a point where I was so captured in the darkness of heartache and sorrow that I was ready to give up.

Even when Derek came back, he was my safe haven. When I needed to escape and let go, he provided. When I yearned for someone to tell me how good I was doing despite everything, he did. And when I craved to be handled roughly, to be hit, to be choked, to _pay_ for what I have done, he obliged.

Maybe it wasn’t healthy. It most definitely wasn’t, but I couldn’t put the blame on him when it had been everything I wanted and I asked for.

I knew I tended to be too quickly on board with eliminating potential threats and after I had so hastily gathered all the information on how to kill Incubi, escaped school and prepared for everything, sitting on this roof in silence had allowed my brain to catch up and ask all the uncomfortable questions.

Why had he tried to deceive Derek? Was he even planning on succeeding with his attempt? What was his goal? Did he really deserve to die?

I needed to figure out until the moon was high in the sky, otherwise I would have to wait until the next one and a lot could happen in that time, which I frankly didn’t feel like risking. I couldn’t force this on Derek any longer. He had suffered enough bullshit in his life. I wasn’t going to add to it.

Gabe seemed to sense my agitation, but remained unfazed by it. Slowly he turned towards me and made a vague gesture in my direction.

“Go ahead. Ask.”

It was worrying how well he was able to read me, but I didn’t have the mind to be concerned about that too. There were more important things.

“Do you feed on other people?”

He paused to frown at me, probably pondering if there was some twisted jealousy behind my question, then shook his head and continued to play with his lighter. He seemed nervous, which in turn made _me_ nervous, because usually the Incubus was a lot less fidgety.

“I told you… you’re different. I don’t want anyone else.”

To be the only one for someone was something I yearned for and to finally hear it was quite an experience. My heart skipped a beat at the words and my jaw twitched as I forced it to calm.

I forced myself not to linger on the thought.

“Will I turn into an Incubi if I continue to sleep with you?”

The possibility had started to gnaw on me with vicious teeth. I knew I was no longer completely human, but to be actually part demon was a scary prospect. And after all, it sounded more than probable, considering that the time I had already spent with him had been enough to made me able to deceive the man I loved into ‘loving’ me.

“No.”

I sighed in relief. That was something at least.

“You’ll be half Incubi, half Human”, he added and my heart sank.

I felt a little sick. Well. So much for that.

“And that’s what you referred to when talking about…’effects’?”

The demon hummed and angled his head to gaze at me more intently, flicking from my face to my hands clenched tightly into white-knuckled fists.

“Does it scare you?”

I huffed out a laugh.

“I’m concerned about what it means for me, but scared? No.”

He nodded in understanding.

“Your appeal to others is higher. You can manipulate more easily - ”

“Would I get wings?” , I interrupted. I definitely didn’t need to hear again why Derek’s feelings were as real as the face of the demon in front of me when there was still the slightest possibility that at least something about this could be positive.

Gabriel laughed.

“Probably not.”

“Will the effects stop if I stop sleeping with you?”

This time he paused longer.

“Only the newer ones. What I gave to you in the beginning was a gift. I couldn’t take it back even if I wanted to. Which I don’t.”

Calmness enveloped me. I wouldn’t be lost. I would have something to hang onto, even if he was gone. He didn’t appear to have any intention to harm me. But I needed to make sure everything else would return to normal.

“If I affected others with my new… powers, do they stop if I’m not around?”

“Mostly. Maybe there’ll be some remnants. I never slept with anyone for long enough to find out.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, which didn’t reach his eyes. I had been right. He was lonely and lost. I could relate.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

My tone was gentle as I tried to look into his eyes. He turned his head away and fell silent as stared down at the street underneath our dangling feet. I couldn’t help the clenching feeling in my chest at the sight of darkness in his mesmerizing features.

“Did you find the kids?”, he asked instead of answering.

I frowned as he so openly avoided answering me, but decided to let it go for the moment and just nodded.

“You were there”, I assumed.

He shrugged, I sighed. The Incubi still hadn’t looked me in the eyes again and it was so unlike his usual self. Did he feel guilty for following me? Maybe he had all along?

I didn’t expect to get an explanation, my eyes again fixed on the slowly darkening sky, but he surprised me once more and provided one anyway.

“I saw a tumult and was curious. Flew closer and almost dropped out of the air when I the smell reached me. Your scent was so faint underneath I almost missed it. It scared me that I couldn’t find you.”

I shuddered at the memory of the stench and tentatively put a hand on my shirt underneath which the wound was tightly wrapped.

“Do you know what it was?”

“Was? You killed them?”

“My name is not Scott.”

He snorted.

“No it’s not.”

Silence spread again between us as he inhaled one last time and flicked the cigarette off the roof.

I swung my legs back on the safe ground and stood up. From the corner of my eyes I saw him watching me. When I turned to look at him for my final questions, his eyes snapped back to the street.

“Look at me.”

Licking his lip nervously he rotated and took a deep breath before his eyes finally met mine. What the fuck was going on with him? Where was the self-confident and teasing Incubus I knew? This was by far the weirdest conversation I had ever had with him, and I had talked to him about how he would suck the power out of me while wearing another person’s face.

Maybe _he_ just knew that _I_ knew.

That would at least explain the guilt hanging over him like a dark cloud.

“Did you meet up with Derek?”

He flinched slightly at my unforgiving tone, but didn’t break the eye contact.

I was ready to hear denial, excuses, but once more he surprised me with his honesty.

“Yes.”

“Why?” I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

His lips parted and closed a few times, but no words came. With anger lastly seeping into my veins, I got to my feet. I loomed over him, his eyes following me nervously.

“Gabe, tell me why or I’ll call this whole damn thing off and make sure you never _fucking_ touch me again.”

The calmness in my voice was deceiving and we both knew it.

I turned to go as another minute passed, but a hand grasped mine and twirled me around. Strong hands framed my face as Gabriel stared into my eyes.

He sighed and closed his eyes, a deep frown forming.

“I…I wanted to know what the person is like that deserves to be so cherished by you, Stiles.”

His lids opened again to reveal the glowing lime green that I only knew from when we had sex.

“I can’t lose you. For you, I wanted to become the person you can love, not just the one you long for. I didn’t tell you about the effects sooner because I was afraid you would _leave_. For you, for once, I want to be _everything_ not just the pretty face.”

I smiled.

“Everything I desire.”

With a nod he pressed his smiling lips onto mine.


	24. Run ahead, but don't leave us behind

I barged into the clinic after a short call with Scott. I had a feeling we needed to move fast. There’s always a little truth to a cliché and moons tend to be important in one way or another for mystical creatures. Why not for killing an Incubi? If that was what Stiles had in mind at all. But why else research it before vanishing on the night of the full moon?

I definitely wanted Stiles safe before it was up high and bright in the sky. I was fidgety and aching for the wolves but mostly for _Stiles Stiles Stiles_. The still lingering smell of his blood in the clinic enraged me further, my wolf giving a restless growl at the biting scent crawling into my nose when I opened the door.

“Derek! You found anything?”, Scott asked immediately when I entered, pushing off the metal table he was leaning on, fingers forming tight fists. Kira put a hand on his arm to calm him and the true Alpha sacked back slightly in defeat. He must have been truly worried since yesterday if the deep rings under his eyes were any indication.

My jaws clenched and I shook my head. I had looked through Stiles' room, hoping to find any indication to where he might have gone, where the demon had his hideout, if there was a new creature, but lastly came up empty-handed. Not even the usual pages of research had been there, only a hidden bottle of half empty liqueur. The thought of him drinking it alone at night made me feel sick enough not to dig deeper.

Once more it was at us to do what Stiles was usually best at: researching and clueing things together.

“Alright”, he sighed tiredly in response. “We didn’t get much further either.”

The young alpha sank back and seemed to shrink. Then as he realized how tensed up he was, he took a deep breath and his eyes widened as he continued to stare at me. It was clear he could smell that Stiles scent lingered on me more than it should after a brief visit to his room. I myself could smell how much our mixed scents were enveloping me, and currently it was one of the major reasons I was still as calm as I was.

“Don’t”, I said, catching up on the again tightening muscles in his arms. The fox beside him became a little restless and made an inquisitive noise at him which he blatantly ignored in favor of baring his teeth.

I was not up for a discussion on how Stiles and I had spent the night and hoped he understood it was not just a spur of the moment kind of thing. We didn’t have time for a lengthy discussion on the how’s and why’s.

Briefly, the true alpha flashed his eyes, but I didn’t shy away from his stare and flashed mine in response.

“What?”, Liam said, his confused puppy eyes almost as good as his Alpha’s, as he looked up from the laptop on his legs. Stiles’ laptop. Hopefully he had started reading on what the spark dug up.

“Is that Stiles’ sweater?”, Liam asked innocently with a frown, still not catching up on why that could be important.

Scott tilted his head and I could see him ponder what to do. The silence between us was heavy and seemed to continue endlessly. Lydia apparently thought the same and rolled her eyes dramatically before clicking her tongue in distaste.

“Enough already. We all saw it coming anyway.”

I frowned in her direction, then looked at Scott, who had shrugged off his anger and gave a brief mischievous smile. Great. Everyone knew before I did. I was truly an idiot.

“Let’s just figure out how you can stop him from being stupid any longer, apologize and hope he listens. And you,” she pointed a well-manicured and bloody red nail in my direction, “if you hurt him Derek, you’ll learn why every man should fear a woman who can walk in heels.”

“I have no intention of hurting him”, I grit out. She merely squinted at me for a brief moment as if to emphasize her threat.

“Well”, Deaton interjected. “You might will, if you want to or not.”

My head snapped around and my gaze focused on the veterinarian, who had lingered silently in the background like he always tended to do.

“I called a few friends since I never encountered an Incubi personally before and unfortunately, Mr. Stilinski might have found an unpleasant truth.”

This didn’t sound remotely pleasant and unfortunately I had a suspicion what he was speaking about. I frowned in worry, my chest suddenly tight and keeping me from breathing normally, but he didn’t bother to explain further. Barely I suppressed a snarl as I crossed my arms in front of my constricting chest to hide my growing agitation.

“You mean the pheromones?”

He nodded and tilted his head in curiosity as if to ask how I knew. But if he wasn’t willing to share all his knowledge, I wasn’t either. I jutted my chin out and he complied.

“Exactly”, he added.

And well. Wasn’t that just what I didn’t want to hear?

“Fuck…”, I muttered out and my façade crumbled a little.

I ran a hand over my face and shrunk into myself, staring blankly at the floor. Was it actually possible that it hadn’t been more? Had I been deceived all over again? All the things I had thought yesterday, this morning, all the things I had said and done, now that I had finally started to acknowledge his importance. Not just for the pack, but for me. He saved me, had my back when I needed him to. He was the fearless boy who ran with wolves and then started to outrun them. I could only hope he wouldn’t leave us behind.

“But”, he continued and my eyes flicked back up to him, hope crawling back into my heart, not yet allowing me to breathe, but whispering of the freeing air. “The influence is only there when he is physically present. If he is not, the effects should be gone.”

My heart skipped a beat. Carefully, and with a tinge of fear, which I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit to, I focused inwards. My wolf was pacing, whining, but that could also be the need for pack, because if nothing else, Stiles was pack. Always has been, always will be. Although, usually my wolf wasn’t this _agitated_. Nervous and annoyed, yes. But pacing, angry, hungry, howling, growling and longing for a certain person? No.

I shushed it and took a deep breath. There was a slight ache in me that had lingered since this morning when I had woken up alone. His moles were burned into my memory, the tremble in his breath, the arch of his back, the warmth of his fingers. None of it was a lie. I ached for _him_ , his words, his smile, all like a stupid lovesick fool, but it was all real and all me. No tricks, no pheromones. I let out a shivery sigh of relief.

“I take it that means you still want him”, Lydia said almost in a bored manner.

I knew her well enough, knew that she by now loved Stiles enough to follow through with her threat and this boredom was just a façade. She could be a scary person for someone her size. I gave a sharp nod and she smiled in a way that betrayed her human nature and affirmed my observations on her.

“Good.”

“OH!” , Liam exclaimed, finally having caught up. Lydia shook her head in disbelief.

“So…how do we do this?” Kira asked.

“I’ll text Danny and get him to come here”, the redhead said, phone already in her hands.

“Why”, I growled out, earning myself a raised eyebrow.

I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t too fond of him, despite his technical skills. He had always smelled a little too much like interest and arousal around Stiles, even when he had checked me out.

She laughed and gazed over the rest of us with an icy glare.

“Do any of you know which bars he frequents, which clubs, which cafes?”

Liam looked down, Scott gulped heavily and I cringed a little, Kira just frowned.

“Didn’t think so”, she added smugly.

“Well why don’t you know then?”, Scott threw back.

“I do. At least about most. But since I am not too fond of gay clubs, a handful are missing.”

She cocked her head and stalked closer to Scott, who did his best not to flinch away.

“ _You_ are still the one who abandoned him, if you knew or not. Don’t try to pull me down with you.”

With that she started typing out a message, Scott hanging his head low, shoulders tense. This pack was truly a mess. We would have to deal with that when Stiles was back. He had known for a while that it was falling apart and had watched his world burn down.

I stepped forward and put a soothing hand on the point of Scott’s shoulder where it connected with his neck and gave it a gentle but firm squeeze. He looked up through his lashes, worry deep in his eyes along with the fear of truly having lost his brother. I gave a tentative smile.

“We’ll make this right”, I whispered. We just had to.

I waited until he gave a nod, tenseness partially draining from his shoulders, and then turned around a little towards Liam.

“Were there any other scents?” I questioned.

Liam looked up at me with a frown, then scoffed. “Well yeah? It’s a school.”

I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes and shot Scott a look instead, with my brows raised high. He shrugged halfheartedly with a lopsided smile.

“Any that shouldn’t be there, Liam”, Scott added, smiling gently at his beta.

Not all was lost.

“Oh. No. All normal. If you count sweat and teenage hormones as normal. Why?”

“Because we also need to figure out if he went willingly or was taken.”

The puppy nodded in acknowledgement. Alright, dead end. I sighed.

“No point in sitting around doing nothing. Liam, continue reading. All of it.”

He gave me a thumbs up and focused back on the dimly lit screen. Hopefully he was a faster reader than Scott.

With another deep sigh, I tried to imagine what Stiles would do, but no one thought like Stiles did.

“Did he kill whatever he was chasing yesterday?”, Scott inquired.

“Yes. Krampi..Krampusse? Evil, stinking creatures with horns”, I answered, wrinkling my nose at the remembrance of the smell.

“Did he tell you of any others?”

“No.”

“We could call Parrish and see if there are any new bodies?”, Kira suggested helpfully.

“Yeah. Do you think another Incubus strolled into town and started sucking people dry?”, Scott continued.

I shivered at the thought. Another creature who potentially wore a face of someone I knew? No, thank you.

“One is more than enough”, I answered and glanced at the clock. We needed to get going, all scent traces would be fading fast, and I wasn’t sure how much concentration I could offer once the moon fully bloomed in the sky.

“Scott, we’ll check out the industrial area, see if we have any new unwelcomed inhabitants. Kira, call Jordan and tell us what he says, then go with Danny when he arrives. Lydia”, I paused, unsure if she would follow any orders.

“I’ll see which apartments are newly rented in case Gabriel is not fond of living in cold dark lofts.”

I growled at her, she smirked devilishly again. No wonder Peter liked her.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

Turning around I headed for the door, hearing Scott kiss a press on Kira somewhere and following after me. We were still mostly without clue, and the moon was making me more and more restless, despite the couple remaining hours until it would be full.

I glanced up at the sky.

_What is your plan Stiles, what is your fucking plan…_

“Uhm…GUYS!”

I turned on the spot at hearing Liam’s strained voice. He was standing in the door, Deaton in his back and clutching at the frame.

“We might have a problem.”         

Scott glanced at me, then looked back to his beta. “What is it Liam?”

The boy struggled for a few seconds, gesturing around until Scott himself made a prompting gesture, then found his words again.

“If he really wants to kill an Incubus, he’ll do it tonight. He needs the full moon.”

I grimaced. Of course it had to be the moon. Time was really pressing.

Again, I turned towards the car, but from the corner of my eye I saw Liam lick his lips nervously and when I breathed in, I could smell the uneasiness on him. There was more and it made him anxious. The boy was doing well considering we were approaching a full moon and he had had anger issues for a while. Stiles must have taught him. Stiles. Who we needed to find.

“What?” I barked enraged when he remained silent again.

He chewed on his lip for another moment, took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes.

“He can only kill him when they are having sex.”


	25. Barking out loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I fucked up? I wanted to edit the story so most chapters had a similar length. Unfortunately, I was dumb enough to delete the chapters instead of adding and editing. So... Im really mad at myself that I lost a lot of lovely comments. Someone hit me hard? Hope you're still with me even if I'm a mess. Cheers folks!
> 
> [Tumblr](http://promising-a-hurricane.tumblr.com/)

“Slow down damnit!! You are aware that we can still die, right?!”, Scott shrieked in a panicked voice as I rounded a corner with screeching tires.

I huffed and stepped off the gas, although it was merely because we had arrived at our destination and not because of his complains. I parked in a narrow street off the main road. My car was too fancy not to be noticed, even if the light was slowly fading in the late hours of the afternoon. Scott sighed and loosened his steel grip on the door handle, glancing at me with a mixture of concern and anger before he threw the door open and jumped out, immediately taking a deep breath.

“Any scents?”, I asked as I peeled myself out of the low car.

“Nothing unusual I guess”, he shrugged, turning around slowly and eying his surroundings carefully.

It was really nothing I hadn’t expected. Stiles could hide his scent and if he didn’t want to be found, we would have a severely hard time doing so. I strained my hearing, but detected no one else in the closer vicinity, only some birds nesting underneath a roof nearby.

With a sigh I gripped the back of my shirt and smoothly pulled it over my head.

“What are you doing?”

I rolled my eyes.

“What does it look like? My nose as wolf is better”, I muttered in answer while shimmying out of my pants.

“Fine. Just - don’t stroll too far off. I don’t want to explain to anyone why a wolf is running through the streets of Beacon Hills.”

I cocked an eyebrow and he shrugged.

“Okay maybe it would be easier to explain that than a weird lizard creature, but still.”

With a snort I threw my clothes into my car and pushed the door closed. With the next step I fell fluidly onto all fours before a ripple wandered over my back and my paws touched the cold asphalt. I shivered under my fur as the pull of the moon intensified.

For a short moment, Scott watched my transformation with fascination before shaking himself out of it and heading off in a slight jog. Instantly I was at his heels, sniffing around as best as I could, but remained unsuccessful in catching anything remotely helpful.

Frustrated I darted a few steps ahead.

Everything was tinged with iron and oil, dirt and dust. Longingly I thought of the bright and earthy smell of the preserve that lately had also invaded Stiles scent, along with the spicier notes of his sexuality. The scent was so clear in my mind that it made desire wring it’s hot hands around my body. I could almost really smell it.

I hesitated mid step and Scott sent me a questioning look. Swiveling around, I took another deep breath. I _did_ smell it, albeit faintly and not quite new, but it was there.

After a short bark I followed the small scent trail that seemed to appear as irregular as the boy whom it belonged to itself. My nose led me to a rundown factory, the earthiness barely clinging to the broken look of the enormous doors. Something was wrong with it, I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

I glanced at Scott and he nodded, looking around before he popped out his claws, ready for a fight. Weirdly, I was sure we wouldn’t find the Incubus in there, which meant that Stiles had moved somewhere else as well, but we needed any trace we could get.

With a forceful pull the true Alpha slid the door open and I stumbled backwards, almost overwhelmed by the blinding stench streaming out of the large hall.

“Oh my god…”, Scott mumbled, his sensitive nose buried in his clothed elbow.

As soon as I caught myself, I started to growl loudly and bared my teeth while ducking down low, ready to jump. I had only smelled this disgusting stench the day before, and it burned even worse a wolf.

“ _Oh how nice to have guests_ ”, a voice hissed, pronouncing the words as if they were foreign on its tongue.

“I don’t feel too welcomed”, Scott mumbled under his breath as he took a fighting stance, while a big, ugly, horned creature emerged from the shadows.

In the long claws I spotted the torn remains of what looked like one of Stiles’ old plaids. At least that explained the smell. He didn’t wear those anymore, hence the scent was faint but still there. Unlike him. Stiles wasn’t there.

It was a damn trap.

Immediately I shifted, against the whining of my wolf. The moon was pulling on it more insistently with every passing minute I didn’t know Stiles was safe, but I needed my vocal cords right now, because I doubted Scott had a magical fire handy to kill the beasts.

“ _Why don’t you come in so we can play little wolves_?”

I shrugged off the goosebumps that crawled down my neck at the scratchy voice reaching my ears anew. The true alpha on the other hand growled threateningly in response, ready to take the invitation. Luckily, I was fast enough to grab his shirt and pull him back. Stiles and I had learned the hard way they don’t appear solo, even if you can’t yet see the others.

He glanced at me in irritation, not willing to move his eyes too far from this unknown creature. It was obviously growing more and more impatient with every moment we didn’t attack. Before long it would stop playing passive.

“Scott! We need to run”, I hissed, taking my hand back when I was sure he wouldn’t pull any stupid stunts like attacking the thing.

“What the fuck is that?”

“Krampusse…Krampi…Oh fuck it. Some more of the stinking creatures Stiles killed.”

He crouched down, his face in a stern mask as he put one of his clawed hands on the ground for balance. With all his muscles tense, he was ready to pounce.

“There’s only one. We can handle it”, he growled.

Just as if to prove him wrong, the creature lurched forward with more speed than its frame let us think. Hastily, I pulled him to his feet before I myself stepped back warily, just in time to see the heavy creature jump the last distance.

“There’s never only one. Trust me.”

The Krampus raised its heavy prank and with the hope to slow it down I tore my claws through its legs. It barely twitched at my attack.

“And how do we fight them?”, Scott whined while carefully evading the sharp claws.

In between blocking and attacking I sucked in a deep breath in the vain attempt to determine how many creatures lingered in the dark. Maybe there was a chance to take them down one by one. Unfortunately, the stench was so overpowering that distinct origins were impossible to locate. Well, except for the one right in front of us.

“We don’t”, I finally barked.

“Well, I don’t think that’s an option”, Scott huffed as he ducked again from another attack.

The thing roared and bared sharp teeth. This pretty little monster certainly didn’t like being ignored and doubled its effort with a loud snarl.

“I could tell you some Latin that infuriates them”, I bit out. Scott huffed with raised eyebrows, before I continued, “but we need fire to burn them down.”

“Maybe Kira can fry them a little?”

“That could – _fuck!!_ ” For a second I forgot to breathe when the long foreign claws carved into my skin and tore through the flesh of my stomach.

The Krampus chuckled triumphantly, making a show of licking my blood of his

“Derek!!”

With a sharp nod in Scott’s direction I tried to tell him I was as alright as I could be. It was painful, but I’ve had worse wounds. It would heal. At least the creatures didn’t possess any poison like a Kanima. As far as I knew. The stench was bad enough.

“That could actually work”, I pressed out while putting a hand to the bleeding marks. “Do you have your phone on you?”

He nodded, already pulling the device from his pocket.

“ _You’ve barked enough you lowly dogs!”_

Angrily the horned beast lunged forward to slap the phone out of the true Alpha’s hands, but before it could reach him I jumped upon his back and threw it to the floor. I groaned slightly as it pulled on my open wounds, but I suddenly knew what I needed to do. It was not only buy us time, but also show who set this lovely little trap for us, although I had a certain demon in mind.

Still frozen in surprise by the attack, the creature was merely grappling at the floor to turn around. With a deep breath I pushed my claws into the muscled neck, using all of my bodyweight to break the thick skin. Finally, it gave in and images flooded my mind.

        

          ###

> My head felt heavy as I let my eyes wander over the open space around me, before settling on the only other creatures in the room.
> 
> A young man with high cheekbones and dirty blonde curls on his head was sprawled out on a chaise-longue, lazily moving his fingers up the tanned back of a dark haired and completely naked female.
> 
> “Why do we bother with him again darling?”, the female whined, rubbing herself on the muscular leg of her companion.
> 
> He merely glanced at her before answering in a tone that told of the many times he must have said them before. Nonetheless, he somehow kept his annoyance with the question at bay.
> 
> “If we want this land, and hell I do, I need his connection to the Nemeton. And of course, his powers.”
> 
> The woman made another whining sound. This time he didn’t acknowledge it at all, apparently used to the petulant nature of the woman.
> 
> “But you don’t need to sleep with him baby”, she complained, running a fingernail down the guy’s chest and towards his groin, in what was supposed to be an arousing gesture. It wasn’t.
> 
> The guy seemed to agree, as in response, he sighed, while rolling his eyes and pushing her hand back up his chest.
> 
> “Don’t be like this. I told you before that it would only work this way. And you _knew_. I want this land, I want his magic, I want the beacon, I want the power. He can give me all that.”
> 
> He paused for a long moment.
> 
> “Can give _us_ all that.”
> 
> It was an afterthought and didn’t sound like it held any truth. But the woman was blind with adoration, believing the obvious lie.
> 
> “Yeah yeah…doesn’t mean I have to like it…”, she mumbled. “I sure have enough of hiding. And I’m so _hungry_. That damn wolf just wouldn’t do what he was supposed to.”
> 
> I could hear cheekbones chuckle, before regarding her with a scolding stare, which she shied away from like she expected actual physical pain.
> 
> “It wasn’t that clever to call him a _fag_ , my dear. I taught you better. It’s your own fault you can’t go back out. If you tried again, he’d become suspicious. And I especially don’t need him to interfere.”
> 
> “But you didn’t allow me to use the pheromones!!”
> 
> The man let his head fall back. His patience seemed to run thinner with every question.
> 
> “Because he would have known you are something supernatural. Or at least have enough supernatural in you by now to smell differently. Another thing you knew.”
> 
> “But Gaaaaaaabe…it doesn’t really matter, right?”
> 
> “It would have been easier, but I have a Plan B that will work out fine.”
> 
> Gabe’s eyes wandered over to me, his lips slowly forming a mischievous smile.
> 
> “Is that why that stinking thing is here?”
> 
> She followed his gaze, glanced over her shoulder at me, and scrunched her nose up in open distaste.
> 
> “His power needs to be used regularly to grow. He fought a lot of things these past months all because of me. Well, also because his Alpha is an idiot and has no idea how to lead a pack. Or hold one together.”
> 
> Gabriel snorted and shook his head while the naked female continued to grimace at me. He gave her cheek a slight slap, which made her turn and pout at him.
> 
> “Be nice now and be thankful our dear guests will keep the snoopy wolf busy and increase his power and therefore also mine.”
> 
> “Fine.” She settled her chin on his chest. “It still stinks…”

         ###

 

“DEREK!!”

I blinked and pulled my hand back, black blood dripping warmly from my fingers and smoke filling my nose, while my ears were blocked with a high pitched ring. Choking from the sensatory overload, I tried to orientate myself. As my eyes slowly focused, I saw that Scott was kneeling beside me, a hand hovering over my shoulder as if he weren’t quite sure if he should touch or not.

Underneath my feet was the ugly creature, motionless for now. With bile rising in my throat I tried to stand up from my crouch, only to find my legs giving out on me. Before I fell, hands wrapped around my arm and kept me steady.

“The hell…”, I muttered while finding my balance.

I had never used my claws on anyone but werewolves before and it had not once crossed my mind that the experience would vary with different species. Usually I could flip through images and select certain memories, which I would then live through with all senses and emotions of the person. This time though, I didn’t feel, I could just watch. I wasn’t even certain if I had chosen the memory, or if the thing had.

“That’s about right. Why _the hell_ did you think it would be a good idea to get into that thing’s mind?!”

Scott’s gaze wandered over my features, stuck somewhere between anger and worry. And rightfully so. It hadn’t been one of my best ideas. Not that I usually had well thought-through plans, if I had any at all. Again, Stiles.

I sighed.

“It was a trap.”

“Yeah we already knew??”, he glared and was about to say something, but I stopped him with a growl.

“I…they had Stiles’ shirt. I thought they had him, too”, I admitted, turning my eyes toward the creature, which seemed to be recovering from my assault, making it known by a deep snarl.

Scott’s eyes followed mine and he tugged on my arm.

“Okay I’ll get you to your car, then you can tell me what you saw.”

“We can’t leave it here.”

The true alpha shook his head and pointed into the hall, which was no longer caped in complete darkness. Flickering lights illuminated the abandoned space, flames licking towards the ceiling from two bodies. Next to them were two familiar figures.

“Kira and Liam will take care of it. Looks like her electricity works well enough.”

I nodded, trying desperately not to get sucked under again by the taste of burning bodies on my tongue. With a shiver I turned and walked towards where we had discarded my car.

“I hope that were the last of them…”, the brown haired boy mumbled, following closely.

I could only agree, but stayed silent as I tried to sort through the images. It was pretty clear the man had been Gabriel, the Incubus. Sure enough, he had worn a different face, but it was a fairly easy assumption from the name the woman had called him by. I couldn’t really feel happy about my gut feeling about him being right.

Of course I couldn’t pinpoint when the conversation had taken place, but it must have been before Stiles went off to investigate on the missing children. Gabriel had used the horned creatures to lure Stiles into using his powers, which he apparently wanted desperately. That probably hadn’t changed and if he was with him…this could only end in a disaster.

But what was the woman for? It didn’t feel like he really needed her. He definitely didn’t like her…

“Okay, spill.”

I blinked in surprise, hiding it behind a deep frown as I realized I was in the passenger seat of _my_ car and Scott was staring at me intently. Well. If we had to go anywhere it was probably better if I wasn’t driving. I looked down at my hands in my lap to find them shaking. Before answering I clenched them tightly.

“They don’t have him”, I finally sighed, unsure where to start.

“Well…that’s good, right?”

I shook my head, staring through the front.

“They worked with Gabriel.”

With, for, under…whichever it was, it wasn’t good.

“You saw him?” Scott asked, leaning closer.

“I guess”, I shrugged.

“What??”

Rolling my eyes, I turned in my seat towards him to stare him down.

“He changes forms Scott. But the woman called him Gabe.”

“What woman?”

I growled in frustration. Maybe I should have done this from the start?

“There was a woman. Didn’t see here face, couldn’t smell her. She was annoying. Whining and – ”

_It wasn’t that clever to call him a fag, my dear._

Realization struck me. Of course it would be her.

“Oh.”

“What?”

“I know who she is. She worked for Deaton.”

It was almost fascinating to see Scott’s features shifting. With wide eyes he stared at me for a few breaths, before pulling back in affronted disgust.

“Deaton wouldn’t betray us!!”

I continued to stare at him with slightly squinted eyes. His heart didn’t skip a beat, he wanted to believe that, but funnily, he didn’t sound too sure about it either. But that was a topic for later inquiry.

Again I shook my head.

“No, Scott. In the classic sense. She had a job at the clinic.”

The boy nodded, almost perfectly masking the short hurt that bloomed in his eyes. She had taken his job, and he probably missed working there after all. Oh this was all still a mess.

He glanced at me.

“Is she an Incubus as well?”

“A female is a Succubus, but no. She wouldn’t have been able to walk into the clinic if she were. But she did say something about the Pheromones.”

“Maybe she’s only part Succubus?”

“Makes sense.”

“But what’s her part?”

“Distraction, food, plaything? I don’t know. She was supposed to keep me from Stiles. She was there the first night I met him after I came back.”

“The Taser-Night?”

“Taser-Night. Anyway, he didn’t seem to be too fond of her.”

I frowned. She definitely hadn’t worked well as distraction and didn’t seem enjoyable enough for a plaything. So, food. But if he had Stiles to feed on, why did he need her as well?

“I don’t know how often they met, but if the bastard has evil intentions, he wouldn’t want to pressure Stiles too much, suck his power too often, you know? He would have become suspicious. He probably needed more…. _food_ ”, he shivered at the word, “than Stiles would provide him with.”

That was pretty sensible. At least he hadn’t lost all brain cells in his love for Kira. I had no clue how much energy and Incubus needed to survive, but I doubted that Gabriel would only settle for what he needed. Another thought struck me and I tilted my head, pondering.

“I don’t think all these creatures he sent helped voluntarily. He could have controlled them with –“

Again, Scott interrupted with a weird gesture that would have rivalled Stiles’, if he still used them, and my frustration grew. It didn’t feel like we were getting anywhere with this conversation in the near future, but I still waited for his question.

“He sent them?”

“Yes. He wanted Stiles to fight so his power would grow.”

Scott hit the dashboard and I shot him an angry glare, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Okay we gotta find him. _Fast_. I have a bad feeling that he wants to use the moon as well.”

Shit. The true Alpha had it all together tonight. Seldom had I dreaded a moon so much as today. My eyes shot up as I heard fast approaching steps, my muscles tightening before I identified the heartbeats. I sank back down into the seat as Scott rolled down the window and was immediately flicked on the nose. With raised eyebrows I watched Kira cross he arms with satisfaction clear in her face, Liam only half a step behind her, giggling slightly.

“Ouch?!”

She only raised her eyebrows.

“Guys, do you know what _phones_ are for?”

Phone.

I cringed inwardly. If there ever was a rule in Beacon Hills for the pack, it was to have your phone on you at all times. And yet, I had no idea when I had lost mine and I certainly didn’t know where it was now. Scott must have used his to call Kira, but I didn’t hear the characteristic hum or a ringtone, granted, I had been a little out of it for a bit.

Before we could actually answer, she pushed her own in our faces.

[ _from_ Lydia]: _We found something. He does live in an apartment. Meeting at Scott’s. NOW._

My throat became tighter with every passing second. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to be there. Sure, we would at least find him, but I preferred not knowing if it meant he was not in the claws of the demon. He had become so strong…and he knew how to kill Incubi. He must have looked it up for a reason. But what did he really know?

I could only hope he didn’t walk into this as blind as I did.

“Let’s go. Liam, I want everything you read on Incubi.”

“Uh, sure.”

Before I pushed Scott out of the driver’s seat, he had already opened the door.

“I’ll check on the ashes, then we’ll head off, too”, the Alpha answered my unsaid question.

“Yeah, we’ll meet you there”, Kira nodded before smacking a kiss on Scott’s lips and pulling him away.

“Get in Liam.”

“Yeah, but first”, he pointedly looked me up and down, “put some damn clothes on Derek.”

Sigh.


	26. Parallels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess which fic (and which author) is not dead? THIS ONE. Sorry for leaving all of you hanging for so long. I hope I haven't completely lost my ability to write, but it didn't feel too bad? so anyone who's still around... have fun reading! btw there might be a couple mistakes because I took so long to write this chapter, but I really hope I didn't mess up anything plotwise. I'll check again tomorrow, but if you see anything..feel free to comment and yell at me.

My fingers wandered over the smooth stone of the kitchen surface. It was flawless and pretty, but almost uncomfortably cold. I snorted as I tapped out a small rhythm and looked behind me where Gabe just emerged from his bedroom. I eyed him up in his low riding sweatpants and soft looking red shirt. Like always my heart ached, while something more primal churned in my lower gut, rebelling against the thoughts that were like flashing red lights in my mind. He looked soft, comfortable and at ease as he padded closer barefooted.

He raised his eyebrows in question as I stayed silent and unmoving, my fingers yet again still. And where before I would have stared in fascination, I now averted my gaze with slight disgust at myself. The whole situation was stupid, and the only one to blame for it was apparently me.

I had decided to let go of Derek. For the millionth time.

I sighed.

Well. At least this time around the situation was a little different, since I had actually been…involved with him. Which had been caused by my new incubi-y attraction powers or whatever the hell this was. It was an excruciating thing to cling to the idea of Derek through Gabe, but to actually magically influence him into craving me (however unknowing it had been) made me just feel disgusted.

It wasn’t exactly intelligent to run to the guy who looked exactly like him.

“Your place looks different than I thought it would”, I finally supplied as I watched him step behind the counter until he escaped my vision.

Immediately, his hand snaked around my waist from behind and he leaned forward to drag his lips over my neck open-mouthed. I hummed in my throat as he sucked into the skin, setting my nerve ends aflame.

“Oh? Why is that?”, he mumbled against my skin, flicking out his tongue which left a wet trail that made goosebumps crawl up my neck as he pulled away.

I tilted my head slightly with a small shrug, trying to find the words to express why something here just felt like it didn’t add up. But as his lips returned, wandering up towards my ear, I settled for offering a simple explanation. Not the truth, but something believable.

“Just had a different picture in my mind. I didn’t think you’d be the guy for sterile and clear-cut.”

His teeth pulled on my earlobe, making the corners of my lips twitch and the odd fire inside of me wake further from its slumber. Suddenly, he bit down and I couldn’t help neither the surprised noise nor the involuntary twitch in his tight hold. A second later he released the abused skin and licked the sensitive mark until I twitched again at the dull ache throbbing through my body from my ear.

“Hm. Maybe you need to get to know me a little better my dear spark.”

His voice had a sharp edge to it, a hint of anger underneath the soft whisper. The heat of my slow crawling lust stopped its fore march as I perked up at the unusual tone. Yet, before I had the chance to pull away, his warm hands wandered over my now tense muscles and he sighed.

“Sorry. I know we haven’t been exclusive.”

I frowned and twisted in his grip to stare at him.

Sure, we never talked about it explicitly, but I just assumed that a sex-demon wasn’t entirely satisfied by one guy. Even if I supplied the necessary ‘nutrition’, he was still a creature of pleasure. Unfortunately, my brain failed to immediately find the connection to our current conversation.

He caught up on my confusion and gestured toward my neck.

“You’re marked. Thoroughly”, Gabe hissed and I scrunched up my nose as realization hit me.

Derek. Of course. He had bit me.

Barely I kept myself from touching the now remembered bite. Gabriel did it for me instead with inquiring fingertips. I flinched at the pressure he put on the bruise, shied away from the touch.

“Was it the wolf?”

I chuckled as I finally realized what had irked me wrong before. Although something in me was aware that Gabriel just wasn’t Derek, no matter how identical they looked, another part of me still thought of Gabriel as Derek. Hence, I had expected a home that would suit Derek. And the wolf was a woodsy guy from head to toe and with every fiber of his being. The man was literally raised by wolves in the middle of the woods and something settled in the forest as soon as any Hale stepped foot onto the land.

Their blood had intertwined with the earth for generations and until the present day the connection remained, although by now it had turned a little bitter on both ends. Quite understandably so. It was just what this place did to everything, everyone.

Perhaps I was wrong in assuming he would love wood to be a part of his home (given he ever decided to acquire a place, which was actually meant to be lived in, and buy more furniture than just a table, a couch and a bed), but once more, I couldn’t help myself.

I pulled away from Gabriel and wandered towards the window front.

Nonetheless, this didn’t feel like the demon’s place either. At least not judging from what he had shown me of himself. He had been caring in his own way, gentle. But this felt like a lair, like a place for someone to plan and scheme high over the roofs of Beacon Hills. It was so forcibly _detached_. Or maybe it was just my overactive mind looking for a villain in this story. But well, it’s not like there were dead people turning up right and left. Not more than usually anyway.

“Maybe”, I finally answered as I glanced outside at the darkening sky. There were still a couple of hours before the moon would be blooming fully in all its beauty.

The Incubus remained silent, and I assumed he knew exactly with whom I had shared the bed. That I was here now, was proof enough it didn’t actually matter anymore. I just needed to get the information through to my stubborn heart. And what better way than to let someone pound it in there? After all, you get over someone by getting under someone else, right? I professionally ignored the annoying voice that tried to remind me that this was how this whole mess began and it hadn’t actually solved anything. Some mistakes you gotta do twice.

“You don’t need to feed whenever you sleep with someone, right?”, I asked anyway, already knowing the answer.

I cocked my head and twisted around enough to observe Gabriel frown at me as he leaned casually on the large glass table. The expression only held for a few seconds before a grin split his soft looking lips and his eyes wandered slowly from top to bottom and back, as if he wasn’t already sure he would eat me alive.

“Sounds like someone really wants to play tonight.”

I snorted. He wasn’t wrong.

I was sure that playing with a demon wasn’t the best choice I had ever made, and tonight would certainly be no different, maybe worse even, especially if we pulled out the games I was longing for at the moment. Under the light of the moon no less. Loosing myself for a while still sounded like an idea worth considering, although I wasn’t all that sure whether I actually should do it around my winged companion.

I already knew not to trust sweet words, but what was there to gain for him anymore? He already consumed my power, and I had been sure from the start that the virginity was only a cover for wanting a taste of the magic inside of me. Many supernaturals seemed to crave it in some way. I never pointed it out, because I was actually fine with feeding it to him. It was easier to control every time he relieved me of a small part of it. Keeping it in check was such a strenuous activity, and although I tired easily, not using it at all filled me with an energy threatening to rip me apart.

In the end, reason screamed at me not to give in, not to let myself be pulled under, but I tended to not be all that reasonable.

Without breaking eye contact, I let my fingers catch on the hem of my shirt, pulling it off in one fluid move before flicking it hazardously to the side. The need for _something_ boiled inside of me with more heat, my spark tugging and straining, almost pushing me to my knees.

I turned completely, stalked two steps towards Gabe and decided to give in slightly to my doubts.

“I don’t like being bound when the moon is high in the sky, so don’t.”

It was a simple request and understandable considering all the creatures in this town. The Incubus himself was probably not too fond of it either. It was better to be on one’s toes during such nights, to be able to run, to fight, to do whatever it took to stay alive.

Gabriel didn’t answer, but I still gazed at him with twitching lips, as he hummed pensively.

“Can I tie you up before?”, he lastly asked.

I pondered with a tilted head.

“No chains and I get to tie you up as well.”

The Incubus’ eyes twinkled with mischief and I knew his answer before he said it aloud.

“Deal.”

“Great. Let me shower first, though.”

He pointed towards a door. “Go ahead, I won’t run away.”

With a tired chuckle I headed for the bathroom, loosening my belt on the way. After I entered the room, I closed the door softly and let out a sigh as I leaned my head back on the door. The last days had been chaos. I had started to feel okay and naturally everything went to shit.

I reached into the shower and turned on the water to let it heat up, then started to empty my pockets. I carefully pulled out the couple of knifes I had on me and laid them down next to the sink, followed by some mountain ash in a small bag and lastly grabbed my phone from my back pocket. It was lit up with multiple notifications. Of course I had turned off the sound when I left school, because I had known that at some point the others would realize I had left. It really hadn’t been my best plan to just hurry out, but I couldn’t help the impulsiveness since I was too restless to just sit in school and keep wondering what Gabe’s game was.

With another sigh I briefly thumbed through the messages and was surprised to find several missed calls by Parrish. He should be home right now, sleeping after his double (or was it triple?) and try not to let my Dad know he told me stuff I wasn’t supposed to know.

Without hesitation I called him back while shimmying out of my pants. Jordan immediately picked up and my heart beat faster. He had been waiting for the call. This couldn’t be a good sign.

 _“Stiles”_ , he sighed with relief and my blood froze.

“What’s up?”, I aimed for cheery but probably missed it by a mile.

_“Bad news. We found a body.”_

My muscles tightened while my mood soured instantly. I had really tried hard to keep Beacon Hills safe, but it wasn’t enough. It never was. There were too many dark spots left from the pack’s previous fights and somehow people kept dying in horrible ways, be it through something supernatural or plainly human. At least with the previous I could do something, the others I could only leave to my Dad and Parrish with the rest of the deputies.

“Supernatural?”, I sighed, lazily running a hand over my chest in a soothing motion, before putting him on speaker and stepping into the shower. After several crashed or otherwise destroyed phones, I had finally gotten myself an extra resistant and waterproof outdoor one, which now allowed me to place it on a small rack without worrying about killing another poor phone.

_“I’m not sure. She has no visible wounds, her blood is full of endorphins and there are signs of intercourse. They still haven’t figured out what actually killed her. They’re thinking some kind of drug.”_

My mind already rushed through the possibilities. I knew a couple of concoctions which were meant to get supernaturals high and the dosages were truly ridiculous, but without a blood sample I couldn’t tell. At least it was not another virgin sacrifice.

“And what do you think?”

_“I don’t know of any drug that would do this. It’s freaky. She looks utterly blissed out. I’m certain that she did neither die a natural death nor was the victim of a crime committed by a human.”_

I glanced at the bathroom door behind which Gabe was waiting for me. Blissed out, intercourse, supernatural. I could be wrong, but Succubi and Incubi were pretty high on my list of suspects. And I was in the home of the only known resident Incubi.

“Well fuck.”

_“Language, Stiles.”_

My mouth twitched when I heard the familiar words. He sounded so much like my Dad that it made my heart ache. Although we had had that talk about all of the supernatural shit, the secrets of this town and my spark a while ago, something seemed amiss. Probably because I had built another façade in the attempt to stop him from worry about me. And he worked a lot in an attempt to at least keep the more human caused horrors at bay. Anyway, Jordan didn’t wait for an answer and rambled on.

_“It’s a woman who briefly worked for Deaton under a false name. She hasn’t been in town much longer beforehand, nobody really seemed to know her. Alan was convinced she merely associated with a supernatural since she crossed the mountain ash line, but she feels supernatural to me. We’re still running it all through the system to figure out who she was.”_

I huffed and grabbed the shampoo to wash my hair while I pondered.

All the implications from that were somehow threatening: a supernatural crossing mountain ash? No thank you. Associate of a supernatural who apparently killed her? Probably a really nice guy who is still on the loose. And if it wasn’t the associate? Two unknown supernaturals in town, at least one homicidal. Yay.

“Fuck”, I muttered once more, almost lost in my speculations.

_“Stiles!”_

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.”

 _“Just…watch out okay?”_ Parrish sighed, apparently recognizing a lost battle.

 “Yeah. Okay. I will. You too, you hear me? I don’t want any more bodies.”

The pause that followed was stretching a bit too long to be comfortable. I felt my face involuntarily grimace as my heart sank again.

“Fuck. How many?”

_“This is probably nothing to worry about. It’s pretty much off the charts since I found them and it’s not so much bodies, but ashes.”_

I relaxed again slightly. At least I knew what killed those and I didn’t need to look out for another murderer on the run.

“Oh. Yeah sorry about that. Wanted to call you but forgot”, I chuckled.

_“Huh. Thought it had to have been your work. Not much to do for me anymore though.”_

“Yeah. Fire is pretty much the easiest way to kill a Krampus, but if I had had a choice I would have selected a less flammable surrounding. Burning down a forest is so not on my to-do list and definitely not that close to-“

 _“Stiles”_ , Parrish interrupted with confusion evident in his voice.

“Yeah?”

_“I found them in an old factory. Two burned to ashes, three only bones.”_

Well, fuck me sideways. That were too many. I had only fought three. Were they new ones? The same ones? Anyways I really hoped that had been the last of them for a while. Foul creatures.

“What?”

Eloquence. Evidently no longer one of my fortes.

  _“I wasn’t in the preserve.”_

I groaned loudly. This town was a fucking nightmare. I had my suspicions that a certain group of people had stumbled over them and took care of it. Maybe my little demonstration at the training had shook them up enough. Still, Derek must have been with them if they knew to use fire. I tried to stamp down the blooming worry whether anyone was hurt badly. The only reassurance I had right now was that Jordan would know if someone were dead.

“Well then it wasn’t me. Maybe the pack.”

It was pretty much the only suggestion I could make.

_“Huh. My sense of smell isn’t that great to start with, but since their stench killed off pretty much anything else, I couldn’t tell. It would at least explain the claw marks. I doubt they killed each other.”_

I frowned as I remembered his words from before. “Why did you think it was me?”

 _“I found pieces of one of your plaids”_ , he answered hesitantly.

And instantly my mind went into overdrive again. With another groan I let my head fall against the tiles.

“…I don’t wear those anymore.”

They were actually all crammed together in a duffel bag in the back of my closet, waiting for me to finally donate them to some institution. I hadn’t touched it in ages, which could only mean that someone else had touched it. Someone who would have had to go in my room, someone who knew I wouldn’t realize that one was missing. Someone who had either set a trap or wanted them to hunt me.

_“Fuck.”_

“Language, Jordan”, I retorted gently and he huffed half-heartedly.

At least he seemed to comprehend what all this meant without me having to explain it all. He was a good detective. The thought made my lips twitch to another smile.

_“Please tell me you have a human stalker who just happened to lose that shirt in that part of town.”_

Wouldn’t that be nice? Dealing with humans wasn’t all that hard. He could get a restraining order, beat the person up if necessary and be done with it. Sounded a lot more relaxing than setting creatures aflame and having them return without you knowing.

“I fear not.”

_“Fuck.”_

True enough.

I turned off the water, feeling more stiff than when I entered the shower, grabbed the phone and quickly switched off the speaker. I stepped out of the shower cabin to look for a towel, just hoping Gabe was keeping spare one’s in here, because I wasn’t in the mood to walk through his apartment dripping wet and naked while trying to figure out the truth. Again.

Twisting around, my eyes met Gabe’s.

With a grin which showed entirely too many teeth he offered me a towel. My blood was rushing loudly in my ears. Every tiny ounce of hope that he hadn’t heard it all (because if he did, he had to be aware that I was suspecting him again and that was a decidedly shitty situation for me to be in) was burned down within seconds of its existence. That smile told a story of its own how right I had been about doubting him.

Licking my lips, I grabbed the phone a little tighter, my gaze never leaving his.

“Jordan, I gotta go.”

Gabriel leaned back against the sink, nonchalantly using one of my knives to clean his fingernails while observing my every move. I dragged a hand over my face and tried my best not to freak out as I glanced to the side and couldn’t spot the rest of my arsenal. This was not how I had planned the night. I wanted to be fucked not fucked over.

Huh. Good title for the Stiles Stilinski autobiography.

_“Listen Stiles, I don’t know what happened between you and the others, but they called me earlier. I wanted to talk to you first, but I’ll tell them.”_

Anger and relief flooded me simultaneously. On the one hand it was stupid to get them involved now, on the other hand there might be the teeny tiny problem that I wouldn’t be there to keep the monsters out come tomorrow so there was not much of a choice. Except die a painful death. Which usually wasn’t that much of a choice.

I barely had a moment to ponder what to say, before the demon cocked an expectant eyebrow at me. We both knew he was intelligent enough to decipher any emergency code I could try to tell Parrish. Not that I actually had one.

Oh fuck it. They had already killed the Krampi (probably) so they could deal with other shit (probably). They’d figure something out.

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Do that. Thank you again Jordan. Stay safe.”

I ended the call without waiting for an answer. There was nothing he or I could have done.

The demon pushed himself off the sink and extended his free hand expectantly, the one with the knife suddenly threateningly close to my jugular. Reluctantly I dropped the phone in his hand and with a few clicks he had turned it off. Then he seemed to think better of it and crushed it one-handedly.

I let my head fall back and looked heavenward, mourning another phone. Sighing I fixed my gaze back on him.

“Was that necessary? I’m not really big on money.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t trust technology. Especially when your dimpled friend is involved.”

I squinted at him with suspicion. If he had done anything to Danny, pure good-hearted sweetheart Danny, he would die a thousand painful deaths. And not only at my hands.

As if he were reading my thoughts, he made a dismissive gesture.

“I did nothing to him. I don’t have a use for him. If I wanted someone to pressure you, it would be someone else, and we both know it.”

Surprisingly, more than one name flashed in my mind, but I gulped it all down in favor to finally figure out what the overall plan here was. Not that it was a complete necessity, but there was still time left for the full moon thing and I’d rather not be dead before I got the chance to kill him, so why not ask?

“What was the woman’s use? Who was she?”

Gabriel grinned devilishly once more. It was truly disturbing to watch since Derek had pulled many faces that should have scared me, but non ever had like this one.

“You don’t have to stall time darling. I need the moon as well. Hands.”

Now wasn’t that great news. This promised to be a fun night.

When I didn’t react instantly, he dug the tip of my own damn knife into my throat until I offered my hands. With a loud click a pair of cuffs was snapped into place and I didn’t doubt for a second that they were mine as well (probably one of the supernatural-proof), even if I hadn’t carried them with me.

“She was a pretty one”, he sighed, languidly running the tip of the knife over my still wet skin, making me hiss when he pressed down more firmly, painting it red. “Too bad she was useless after all. All rumor and nothing behind it.”

Belatedly I realized he wasn’t just scratching random lines into my skin. After he added another couple of lines, my chest ached violently and became heavy and cold. I wheezed involuntarily, which only made him grin wider, before he shoved me out the door and towards the bedroom.

With disdain I regarded my bleeding chest. I couldn’t quite figure out what the symbol was, as my cascading blood hid it well, but my best guess was that he had just restrained my spark to match my newly bound hands. I tried my best not to freak out at the sudden cold located in my chest, or the missing tingling that usually resided under my skin, but when I spoke my next words, the tremble in them was unmistakable.

“So you got rid of her.”

He chuckled and finally tripped me so I fell on the bed. I hurried to get my hands in front of me to not face plant completely, then twisted around and glared at him angrily.

“Is that a question?”

As if discussing murder while binding someone to a bed was an everyday occurrence for him (well, maybe it was) he began to fasten the cuffs to the headboard in a parody of our first nights. I gulped down any uprising panic in hopes to keep a calm head. It really wasn’t the time for that shit.

“No.”

I pretty much already knew that part from Parrish. No questions there.

“I always knew you are a clever one. Although I must admit, I doubted you for a bit on the roof. It was so _cheesy_ ”, he grimaced. “Disgusting. But well. You’ve been quite melodramatic recently. Made it a lot easier to manipulate you.”

Clenching my jaw, I ignored the jab in my direction, although he was more than right. It was like I had a late emo-phase, but fuck him, I was entitled to it. I was a teenager who had seen more shit than anyone should, not to mention one who fought several monsters alone while being stupidly in love with an asshole while another asshole, which you fucked to get over asshole number one, abused you for.. yeah. For what? Power? And then asshole number one comes back. Perfect chaos. All that shit definitely screamed for a little melodrama. Whatever. I’d figure out what this damn demon wanted. I was Stiles fucking Stilinski.

“Why did you bring her here if she was useless?”

He pouted as if he was slightly disappointed that I didn’t deny his words, but only shrugged before answering.

“I was looking for her daughter. Told her we would get her power back that the little thing stole from her when she was born. Poor darling didn’t realize I’d be the one taking it. So she happily tagged along. I didn’t mind too much. I don’t like to go hungry. And I hoped that since she had managed to seduce one Hale, she could do it with another. Wrong again.”

I ground my teeth for a moment. I had a good idea who he had dragged here and who he’d been looking for. It had something to do with the papers at the bottom of my research stack in the locked drawer, next to the by now almost empty Reese’s and Whiskey.

“You wanted the Desert Wolf.”

While making the statement I swallowed down the burning rage about the fact that he had made her try to distract Derek. Too bad he didn’t trust people a lot these days. It made me feel slightly satisfied that he had been so unsuccessful in his attempts. I still kicked at him in retribution when he grabbed one of my feet. He tutted at me before digging sharp nails into my ankle and fixing it to the bed before reaching for the other.

“I wanted power. Which she didn’t possess. But well. It didn’t actually matter… I found something much more potent, right dear?”, he purred while gently running a finger up my leg.

“It was so entertaining to watch you play with my monsters. Stinking beasts those Krampi…but I had to make you use your power somehow. A muscle is no good without the proper training.”

His monsters. _His_ fucking monsters. How many of the ones I had fought had he actually controlled? How many people almost died because of him and his ridiculous plan?

I growled, burning from the hatred in my veins, as he crawled onto the bed. I threw myself against the restraints with full force, writhing and bucking to throw him off. Everything in me was screaming to hurt him really really bad.

“Ohhh don’t be like this. We’ll have so much fun later.”

He licked languidly through the blood on my chest and I roared again. Just as I bared my teeth, he hit me over the head with a chuckle and I groaned in pain as the world faded to black.

“Sweet dreams darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://promising-a-hurricane.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> isn't dead either.


	27. Drizzles and hurricanes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I can explain](http://tridom.tumblr.com/post/148604087299/authors-note-on-fanfic-ch4-ill-probably-have-it)  
>  Except I really really can't. I really hope I didn't make any follow-up mistakes. Also, thank you Lott1e for that lovely and motivating threat. BYE.

“Well, fuck”, Liam murmured.

I couldn’t have agreed more. Briefly after we all assembled at Scott’s and I had informed the others about my newfound Krampus-insight, Parrish had called me and reported of his own call with Stiles and the rather rushed ending. If anyone still had had any doubts about the intentions of the demon, they would surely be erased after that wonderful revelation.

Dragging a hand over my face I settled deeper into the cushions of the sofa. I had paced the room for the first few minutes after I had entered the room, but not only did it not help my inner turmoil to calm, it also agitated the other wolves further. Hence, I had lastly sat down, trying my best not to think too much about the various precarious situations Stiles could be in. Unsurprisingly, that had been more than unsuccessful, because there were _a lot_ of scenarios possible. And none of them were even remotely good.

But we could not afford to fuck this up by rushing in without a plan. _Again._

“We know he’s the evil fucker, we have an address, what are we waiting for?”, Liam asked, already taking a step towards the door before he was stopped by Scott with a hand on his arm. He shook it off, mouth twitching into a fang-baring snarl, and the air became thick with the crackling tension between the two.

No one was particularly surprised by Liam’s reaction, except for Scott of course. The boy had evidently been closer to Stiles than most of us had been recently. Stiles taught him the basics of fighting, kept him anchored and scent-marked when Scott neglected it. Of course there had been no malicious intent behind Scott’s actions, or lack thereof, but that was no excuse. He had responsibilities towards Liam since he was the one who had thrown him into this world.

I had always known that usually Scott only took action when Stiles needled him into doing something, knew that without his instigator he let himself drift in secure motionlessness. Sure, he hadn’t been completely uninformed about Stiles’ life, but he hadn’t been around for it, hadn't been an actual part of it. Stiles drew back, and Scott didn’t follow. It’s why their band thinned so much that Stiles didn’t feel comfortable with sharing everything about himself anymore, not like he used to. And still, seeing that Liam was drifting by himself, Stiles decided to help once more. Liam didn’t seem to have any hard feelings towards Scott for it, but the emotions were currently boiling in all of them, and having to remain inactive surely didn’t help the boy’s anger issues.

While the True Alpha tried to deal with the obvious rejection of his Beta, Lydia stepped further into the middle of the room. She, along with the dimpled young man and the pup was the living and breathing reminder that I no longer knew Stiles all that well, if I could ever say I had. Anyway, it was the reason she still painfully refused to be near anyone except Danny and Liam. Now she used her imposing presence to draw the focus away from our own problems to more pressing matters.

“It could be just another damn trap”, she addressed Liam. “He’s not exactly dumb if he managed to lead _Stiles_ on for this long.”

Lydia wasn’t wrong, considering Stiles doubted others more often than not, but his emotions had always been his weak spot. If Gabriel had been around for a while, it couldn’t have been much of a hardship to draw conclusions about him and to come to an epiphany on how to approach his personal little power source. And after all those revelations it was more than clear how Gabriel used this for his twisted little games with Stiles’ mind.

Kira nodded along to Lydia’s words. “I don’t think he doesn’t know how not to be found within twenty minutes of searching.” She glanced towards Danny. “No offense.”

The dimpled boy merely shrugged as he kept typing on his laptop. “None taken. It felt too easy to me, too. The address is bullshit. Figuring out his real one will take some time, time that we don’t have.”

I couldn’t help the growl rising from my chest. It was blatantly obvious that that damn demon was in the possession of a more than capable mind to trick Stiles, but we had made it even easier for him with our lack of presence. Dumb decisions were so much easier to make when no one was around to see them.

“Stiles was vulnerable. We left him to fight on his own”, I voiced my thoughts, still bitter about not having been able to realize earlier what mattered to me and my wolf. I ran away, I left, all without looking back for a long while. We could have used the time to heal together instead of licking our wounds by ourselves and letting them fester until they tore at our flesh with more and more vigor.

“He seemed to be able to handle himself quite well”, Scott offered half-heartedly, pulling up his shoulders in a gesture so unlike of an alpha that it made me cringe in silence.

I glared while Liam snarled with bared fangs. I was really tempted to introduce Scott to my fist again. It did not matter how well you did on your own when you were supposed to be in a pack. You took care of each other, no one had to stand alone or be alone. Although Scott wasn’t raised in a werewolf family, learning ancient rituals and customs, he should have at least _felt_ some kind of urge to take care of what he considered his. And I really hoped in the name of all that was holy that Scott considered Liam and Stiles his, if no one else. But looking back, Scott had always been far too easily distracted by his love interests, singeling them out to focus on. However, right now, none of that mattered. It would be of no help to Stiles if I tried to beat some sense into his best friend.

Fortunately, this ‘pack’ still had people who were able to use their words for more than spitting bullshit.

“Physically, yeah, maybe. Most of the time at least”, Liam spat out and a whine climbed in my throat, along with flashes of scarred skin under my fingers, my lips crawling to the forefront of my mind. “But mentally? I’m not the brightest candle on the cake, but that Crocotta thing must have fucked him up. _Bad._ And now this asshole? How do you fight something you don’t even see coming? He didn’t consider Gabe a threat.”

I flinched once more at the mention of that darned beast, thought of the other things he had fought, the smell of blood in Deaton's clinic. Fear, betrayal, anger, injury. All because of us. Even Danny and Lydia looked chastised by the outburst. Evidently they hadn’t known it all either. A strange and ugly satisfaction briefly bloomed in my chest at that before I stomped it down, because in the end somehow everyone but me had known about that winged bastard. And no one had considered him a real threat, because it was _Stiles_ dealing with that demon. Endlessly clever and distrusting Stiles. _Surely he would know what to do, how to look out for himself._

“Let’s hope he does now…his phone has been dead since Parrish’s call and we’re short on time. Liam, facts please”, I added, fixing my gaze on the Beta. We couldn't be sure on why the call had been cut short, but I had a suspicion that the Incubus had listened in, taken it from him, and most probably destroyed it. Hence, not even Mahealani's hacker abilities would be of any help.

He shot another dark glare in Scott’s direction, then shuffled his notes around awkwardly, clearly not having Stiles’ gift of arranging them in an actual system, emphasizing once more how painfully he was missed in this situation. With a final huff Liam threw the pages back on the table and decided to recount from his memory alone.

“When Incubi feed, they usually tend to suck people dry of their … life energy or something." He waved his arm around.  "But that only goes for humans. And then again only in the case he doesn’t want to knock them up to produce more of his lovely kind. The more civilized apparently either use multiple sources for nutrition or choose a supernatural with accelerated healing. With that the life force thing regenerates faster.”

That was pretty much what I had suspected. It’s what basically every supernatural that needed nutrition through humans did. Mass killings tended to rise suspicions. Unfortunately, the info didn’t help us much. We all weren’t quite up to date on the latest happenings in Beacon Hills and calling Parrish to hash out the details on recent deaths that might be connected would take hours. Had the demon solely fed on Stiles and his clingy female companion, or had there been other people? How many did that thing need to sustain itself anyway? Did he kill anyone? Well, anyone on top of the woman.

She somehow didn't seem to fit into everything all that well, despite what he had learned in the memory vision.

“What about his girl?”, I growled. “How did he kill her?”

“Fucked her to death probably? She had a lot of endorphins and wasn’t pregnant, so yeah, I don’t know. I guess it would be possible since she was something half-human, I think, so that could have worked?”

I dragged my hand over my face. We weren’t really closer to figuring this out. My mind still whirled with questions on who she was, what she was and which part she had played in this apparently elaborate plan or if she had been of no importance at all; just another gear in the machinery.

“Great. We don’t know how human Stiles is with his spark, do we?”, Kira added, carefully stepping closer to Scott and placing a hand on his lower back to ground him. The tension in his shoulders lessoned slightly and he reached a hand back in thanks.

However, I could scent the anxiety and anger rising back to the surface of Liam’s skin as everyone pondered. Stiles had always been the human and that was it. Now it could be vital to know how much of a human he actually was. To know if another roll in the hay would kill him, stealing even more of our time to save him, or if we gained a few precious moments due to his supernatural side.  But there was no way to figure it out right in this instance

“Frankly”, Liam finally whispered, “I don’t think he’s all that human anymore. He’s so fast and strong now. He even stopped stumbling!!”

He looked around, not actually daring to look into anyone's eyes. “You’ve seen what he can without any weapons or magic. And that would already be pretty good for a human. But whatever more the Incubus gifted him with…”

Liam seemed to fumble for words, opening and closing his mouth without releasing more than an agitated growl. I could only understand too well. The combat skills were nothing a human couldn’t learn, but there was so much _more_ to it. I had been close enough to feel it myself, to have that taste in the back of my throat, that tickling of power.

After a couple seconds of silent nods from the others, the beta threw his hands up in agitation, continuing only to confirm my own observations.

“…his fucking scent changed! When he uses magic it makes my nose twitch now. It smells like thunder and storms where before it was only rain.”

I shivered at the implications of it all. I had never known enough on witches, sparks and druids to discern their powers clearly, but even someone with complete lack of knowledge on the topic could easily guess that such a drastic change was due to a build-up in power.

“He doesn’t want to kill him”, I finally whispered, the _yet_ going unsaid. I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud, not willing to accept that there was a possibility I would be too late, that I would lose him before I really had him. “He wants the spark first and foremost, especially because he’s connected with a bigger power source.”

“The Nemeton”, Danny concluded.

“But that thing’s still mostly asleep, isn’t it?” Scott threw in, the lines of worry in his face deepening. Apparently he finally began to understand the gravity of it all. Stiles was in grave danger, his life threatened, as were many more if the demon actually managed to make his plan work.

Another brief silence fell over the room before Lydia gasped sharply, her quick mind apparently having found something worth considering. Immediately, all eyes were on her as she hurried forward and gently maneuvered Liam aside to flip through the pages of research.

“Demons. Incubi are classified as harmful demons, right?”, she asked, her eyes still flitting over the lines of text in front of her, frowning deeply when she didn't immediately find what she was looking for. Liam nodded dumbly, not quite catching on to what she was aiming for. Judging from her previous gasp it could be no good.

She held on to a page when she looked up. “I think he wants to use Stiles to jump-start the Nemeton and siphon the awakened power through Stiles. The Nemeton is inherently a good thing even if it has never been that for us. Still, as a demon he doesn’t have direct access, so he needs a link.”

Well damn. I barely remembered the time when the tree had been full of life and power, but I remember how the forest had almost pulsed with its energy. Even now, with it being half asleep, I could detect a soft humming in the earth and plants. If all of that magic was concentrated in one being, a malicious one at that, that itched to wield it like a weapon for his own purposes... I shivered at thinking of the consequences, mainly that Stiles would most likely be dead. His throat became tighter, the air escaping him and leaving him lightheaded and aching. 

“So he needs the Nemeton. Which means we have to find that damn tree again”, Liam added.

Sure, the boy hadn’t been there for the first few times we had dealt with that ominous thing, but he had had his own share of weird interactions with the stump to know that this was just the cherry on the top of bad news.

“Basically, plans are pretty useless after all. We can’t do that ice bath thing. Our best shot is probably heading out to the preserve and trying to catch a scent”, Lydia continued, looking tired and worn despite her flawless makeup.

My eyes turned to Scott, willing him to take the lead. If we wanted to start doing things right, it might as well be now.

When he raised his head and sent me a grateful nod, I started breathing a little easier. He stood taller and looked around, taking in how everyone was tense and full of fear for one of their friends, the glue that held their pack together and fixed the cracks.

“I know I haven’t done this in a while, and I know I haven’t been on a good track lately for our pack, but we need to put this aside. For Stiles. So we’ll gear up and get him back before that thing can harm him.”

At least everyone seemed to be able to agree on that, and so they got to their feet, poised to run out the door and reclaim what we hoped could still be ours. My blood started burning again in my veins, making me ache and yearn to find Stiles, to bring him back into our midst.

“Liam, Derek. You’ll be the front. You know his scent best. Lydia you and Danny you take the car as far in as you can get and follow. Danny can track the phones. Kira and I will follow Liam and Derek by foot to secure the surroundings and back up. All good?”

I nodded once more. This was as good as it would get. No one was alone, the less supernatural didn’t slow the wolves down by having to follow on foot, and they had a car to get back at out quickly if necessary.

When no one protested, Scott spoke once more, the confidence returning to his voice. “Alright then. Let’s get Stiles back!”

It felt like barely any time had gone by when we reached the outskirts of the woods that I knew so intimately. Or used to know. The recent years had changed them, caused them to become more and more of an enigma again. It had been a while since I had thoroughly explored them and I hoped it would suffice to trust my nose tonight to find Stiles.

I had barely registered how the pack had settled in two cars to get to the preserve faster: Lydia and Danny in one and the rest in the other. Danny had had the Laptop on his knees and with a thumb’s up he had wordlessly proclaimed that he had their signal. Which had been Scott’s sign to floor the gas and chase down the road in the continuously darkening evening. My wolf had already been howling inside of me in desperation, merely placated by the night air rushing in through the open windows.

Finally, _finally,_ after a couple more minutes I caught a scent.

“STOP!”

Scott barely flinched and immediately began to pull over while I chucked off my clothes as quickly as I could in the confined space, trying not to hard to think on what I had smelled implicated. I was trapped between the wish to suck in the air to gather more of Stiles’ smell and to puke into the underbrush. It wasn’t all that thick in the air, but it was undeniable that more blood had been spilled. _Stiles’ blood._

Before the car had come to a full stop, I was already jumping out of it, with Liam hot on my heels. I leapt forward and let the change ripple through me, hoping for it to be easier to follow the track when I was in full shift. When my paws landed on the dirt I felt the power in the earth pulse again like it had done so long ago and a new wave of fear rippled through me with agonizing ferocity.

I howled in desperation and sprinted ahead, paws drumming on the soft soil faster and faster as I chased the scent of blood and thunder.

The Nemeton was active again and the smell of Stiles’ blood became heavier in the air.


End file.
